How do I cope with falling out with my sister?

Question

Hello all thanks for taking time to read this question.

My sister and I were the most closest of sisters/best friends as there is only 20 months between us, but we have now fallen out.

There is no way that either of us will back down on this as we both think that we are right.

Long story as short:
I lived in a houseshare whilst she was living away last year. She came to visit and two of my housemates were really nasty to her, (I lived with four females and one male). My sister is now going out with the guy and I believe that she has totally changed. Thinks that her family aren't good enough for her.

My sister and her boyfriend tried to convince me over the summer that I am a mental-I even went along with their script and visited the doctors who said I have relationship problems and that I'm angry and stressed-who isn't? And I do not know anyone that gets along with everyone.

We haven't spoken for nearly three months now.

I still ask about her and she asks about me, our parents are on the other side of the world and have had to listen to both sides of the story. It has been very upsetting for everyone.

The guy that she is with I feel is a total control freak he has managed to isolate her from the family.

I do not want her in my life, I just want to know how to cope with what feels like grieving yet she has not died.

Thanks all in advance who answer.

Answer 1

dont bother if they are trying to convince you are mental when you are not they have the problem not you

Answer 2

Hey, I would actually make up with your sister. Be the better person. My sister and I basically have no relationship. She's been in and out of my life of and on for years. One time I didn't even know where she was and if she was alive or not. It was for 8 years. That may not seem like very long, but it is when you don't see each other or have any form of communication.

My sister was sexually abused by my biological dad. There were 4 of us who were adopted. Now the only form of communication it seems she has is with the wrong guy. She doesn't communicate very often with us, her family and we all miss it.

We didn't have any falling outs or anything like that. The lack of communication is basically from her being scarred emotionally. I would give anything to be able to talk and see my sister today and know how she was doing and be able to have my sister once again. I know I have a sister but I forget sometimes because we don't hardly ever see each other.

Don't let this happen to your sister and you. Don't let a guy or anything else come inbetween you guys. You are sisters and nothing should tear that relationship apart, especially not a guy. (I'm married, so I have total respect for guys. I'm not putting them down).

Answer 3

My advice is this think long and hard like you say you and your sister are close or were close, you say you don't want to know her anymore. Don't get me wrong I come from a large family I have two brothers and two sisters I had an argument with my sister about a couple of things and we didn't speak for well over a year. The thing is she was the stubborn one but I like you refused to back down.So a year or so later she apologised. I am not saying don't peek to her. What I am trying to say is some times all it takes is for the dust to settle. remember this though whats the conversation going to be at the Christmas table with all the family around.

What ever happens now or in the future remember that their is always someone to listen and hey good luck.

Answer 4

Join the club! I don't want anything to do with my sister either, I went through a 4 year period which I can only say was a grieving period. In the last 2 years I have accepted that we will never have the close relationship that we had when we were younger, it's been 6 years now & I have got over it, there are far more important things in life.

Answer 5

She is not isolated REALLY is she? She gets to speak to her parents regularly i gather,

I think her boyfriend does have control issues, I think he is concerned about her close relationship with you and he has tried to make her doubt your sanity.

The thing is I am sure that this relationship will not last forever and your sister will need you and want you to support her. "Boyfriends come and go but your family are always there".

With this in mind, I think you should be the person to call an end to this whole 'falling out'. Write a letter to your sister, send it to your mother and ask her to read it to your sister when she phones. This way, your sister's boyfriend will not know that the conversation is about you and will not have the opportunity to have his say. This will give your sister an opportunity to think about her attitude towards you without her boyf getting involved.

You don't want to lose your sister do you? make the first move!

Answer 6

I really feel for you, I know exactly how you feel my sister was my best mate, my kith and kin all of that. She met someone about three years ago, this man poisoned her mind against me, her only brother. To cut a really long story short we haven't spoken for three years. She has now moved away and I don't even know where she is. I miss her, I miss the friendship we shared the laughter we shared and the memories of growing up together, and the link we shared to our mum and dad who have both dead now. She was so like mum and I adored mum. Maybe one day she will find me, and we can put this all behind us. Maybe we can laugh together again one day. We want to move away from here but if we do she will not have any idea where I have gone, so we stay put. If she's out there and reading this question, I am here Gig you only have to pick up the phone, I would love to hear from you .....

Answer 7

when you think your in love you dont listen to anyone. Best thing you can do is get on with your life. Your sister will realise one day that she is in the wrong and will knock on your door. She will learn the hard way. Just be patient

Answer 8

it's times like this when you need a good friend; you and your sister ' will all ways do what you think is best' for each other.you are okay in your own mind. so do not worry what other people; might think or say.thing's will work themselves out.blood will all ways be' the stronger link.any-hoe; good luck.

Answer 9

take some time away from her. family should come first but if it dont work out that way then let it be for awhile once the guy is gone she will need u again, she might be alil jealous of u

Answer 10

i have neva got on with my sister and if i never saw her again it wouldnt bother me you said that your not bothered that you dont speak so really u dont need a question answering get on with your life let your sista lead her life and come together when u feel the time is right

Answer 11

Sounds like you sis is being weird. I say give her some space with her new boyfriend and do not take their verbal abuse, ignore them, or tell them you need your space. I think she will come around. Until then, go on with your life and do your own thang!