He's always throwing things out if he doesn't know what they are or they don't belong to him. He probably saw an unmarked box and threw it away without even bothering to look inside. All of my ornaments from my childhood, and the ornaments from our son's first christmas are now gone. I felt like crying. I feel angry at his carelessness, but am I being unreasonable?
2006-12-08 10:18:20 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No! you said it was accidentally!
2006-12-08 10:19:39 · answer #1 · answered by hondalos11 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oops! No, you really aren't being unreasonable, and it really is a tough break. You have a right to be upset and hurt. Knowing that your husband is more than a little careless, I suggest you buy a permanent marker and tell him to go label every box you have in storage. This would be good penance (he probably feels bad enough to do it) pluse he would be forced to actually look in the boxes....then maybe next time he goes on a tossing frenzy something might click! So sorry. The positive side of this is, you can go buy new ornaments that all match and have a themed Chrsitmas tree. Buy the prettiest ornaments and lights in the store....he won't be able to complain a bit....
2006-12-08 10:22:48 · answer #2 · answered by aa_cooke 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand feeling hurt and angry. These were precious memories. He should have looked IN the box before throwing it all out. But he didn't do it on purpose and I'm sure he's feeling really bad about it too. It was an accident. Cool off a bit before talking to him about it.
But next time, carefully mark boxes that have special keepsakes in them. And keep them in a special place where they will be away from people traffic and moisture. He probably wouldn't have thrown out the box, had it been in clean, intact, and clearly marked.
Set about straightening and marking stored items. And make it a rule to have BOTH of you look through a box before throwing it out. Now, its time to make new memories and new ornaments. Ask your hubby and your son to make you some new personalized ornaments for Christmas.
2006-12-08 10:27:10 · answer #3 · answered by Shiomi Ryuu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel upset and definitely express how I felt, but don't hold a grudge. Talk about it with reason and set guidlines for both of you on when and how to discard of anything.
Also to cheer you up both of you should go out and find or even better make decorations. You can't replace the ones that are gone, but you can create memories together and turn a bad event into a moment of bonding.
Nothing can erase the memories. Also if you know what some of them looked like maybe you could make a list of them and then every year hit the thrift stores looking for them. It'd be a game that carries on..... we did this for some special glasses that my mom lost and eventually we replaced the whole set, but it was always an adventure.....
2006-12-08 11:03:45 · answer #4 · answered by masterjennjenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he did it on purpose to hurt you then you must accept that it was an accident and let it go.
If he has a history of throwing out things that reside in unmarked boxes that take up space then your responsibility is to make sure your treasures are labelled and properly put away. Maybe even in a storage unit that only you have a key to.
I, also, am a "throw-outer". I go through my closets 3 times a year and simply throw out 1/3 to 1/2 of everything in there. If I nolonger use it,it is garbage (or a donation...)
I have lived with "pack rats" before, and can tell you that less is often better when compared to people who won't throw Anthing away.
2006-12-08 10:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by chocolahoma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great when someone is conscientious about the build-up and elimination of clutter. But if he threw it away without checking the box's contents properly, then that was a bit mindless or a bit careless, even if it wasn't exactly malicious.
Tell him that even if it wasn't intentional on his part, what he did bothers you a lot. This should teach him not to throw stuff out without checking. What he did is like chucking the baby out with the bathwater, in a way.
2006-12-08 11:03:40 · answer #6 · answered by montrealissima 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it makes you feel any better, my husband recently threw away all of my fall/winter clothes!! I had done alot of closet cleaning, and discarded anything that was unwearable. But while sorting through everything, I also determined what DID fit and still have life to it. Those items were put in a laundry bag to go to the cleaners, and the discards were put in trash bags to go to Goodwill. I know he didn't do it on purpose, but like you said, he didn't even look to see what was what. Be angry, but then forgive him. Look at it this way, it's not like you suffered a fire where everything is gone, and you can now start over collecting new ornaments. You may even locate similar one's from your childhood on Ebay. I did!
2006-12-08 10:38:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah cuz the worse thing that could happen in the world is throwing away your ornaments. Are you kidding me? Christmas is not about ornaments and it was an accident. Yeah it's memories but it's better to create new ones.
2006-12-08 10:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if it was indead an accident!! I would also have to ask you if he's always throwing things out where were you when he threw them out??? Just a thought -- you might consider going through the trash before the trash is picked up by the city or he takes it to the dump!!! Again no I honestly do not think you should get too upset over an accident that nobody got hurt by!!!
2006-12-08 10:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by xxx69forall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you are not talking about MY husband? B/c I thought I was the only one going through this? He sees boxes and just starts throwing everything away without looking!! It makes me SO mad! It is carelessness... he should take the time to look before he throws stuff away.. I told my husband " Everytime something important or usefull get thrown away, then something important or usefull of YOURS will be thrown away or trashed." That got him thinking.
Also, I started buying Clear Plastic Storage Containers... and will write in BIG LETTERS what it is... Like "CHRISTMAS STUFF.. DONT TOUCH OR YOU WILL DIE!!!" that helps too...seriously... im not joking, i have to do this to all of our storage items or he will throw it out.
2006-12-08 10:23:03 · answer #10 · answered by yo mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on your question, it appears that your husband has an aversion to clutter. This can occur if one is brought up by pack rats.
It appears that this behavior has been a source of conflict or anger in the past. Use this opportunity to explore your feelings with your husband and to explore his behavior to determine the root cause.
Use your anger as a tool to try to reach an agreement regarding his decisions to throw things away so that this does not recur. Perhaps he should not dispose of things without checking with you.
2006-12-08 10:23:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋