me and my boyfriend dated for almost 3 years, and i was totally in love with him. he was amazing and i don't regret being with him. the ehing is, he was my first, well, my first everytinng basically. he was my first love and the first guy i ever had sex with. when we broke up, it was because he wanted to, i didn't. i came to find out a few weeks later that he was gay. i was and still am in love with him. i have recently found out that he is dating a guy and i don't know how to handle it. i see him in school all the time and i talk to him on the phone. were still friends and i like having him in my life. but he doesn't know i know he has a boyfriend. and i don't want to talk to him about it with him untill he is ready to tell me. but i don't know how to act around him. i want to cry every time i look at him! help please!
2006-12-08 10:12:29 · 40 answers · asked by ohmeggosh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey, it isn't your fault. Plus, knowing that he didn't leave you because of you, should be a little comforting. He has made a lifestyle choice, and even though you aren't fitting into that lifestyle, you are fitting into his life, or he wouldn't keep talking to you. So, things didn't work out with him, at least you have a very intimate friend that you can talk about anything with. He knows you better than almost anyone, and will always understand your problems, and be willing to help you with them. You will find another guy, love another guy, and you will still always have this guy in your life. Although it doesn't seem like it now, you should consider yourself very lucky here. Few people will ever have as close a friend as this guy could turn out to be.
By the way, if you are okay with the idea of him being gay, you should bring it up, and let him know that you are okay with him. It'll only bring you closer together, because right now, I am sure he is afraid to tell you, because he thinks you will walk out of his life because of this.
Long Live Jambi
2006-12-08 10:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost don't cry. believe it or not it's a good thing it ended when it did. Had you continued on and developed more feelings for him it would have hurt more when he finally "came out".
I have had a similar relationship. I too had a girlfriend that I saw for years before splitting up. And shortly after I also came to the conclusion I was gay.
It's great that your still friends, don't let that change. You can't have a bf/gf kind of relationship anymore but you can be best friends!!!
Go to him and tell him what you know. Talk it out. He's probably afraid to tell you about his bf because of what your reaction might be. Let him know you'll love him regardless.
I'm sure everything will work out for the best.
Good luck!!!
2006-12-11 09:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by mrspunkmeister2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's awful. that's really bad that you have to deal w/ it while you're still really young. I'm sorry I don't really know what you should do but I have some ideas. Get a journal and write out everything you feel. Put on some sad music and just let all the tears out. you're most likely going to be really mad sometimes, too. So what I've done when I was mad at a guy (or anyone, for that matter), I'd get out a piece of paper and draw him. Except I'd really emphasize his faults and make him look really hideous. (buck teeth, unibrow, ugly clothes, etc.) then I'd put it up and throw darts at it. You can also draw things to represent your feelings, like sadness, misery, stuff like that. If you feel ready you should talk to him about it. You could write him a letter. but find someone to talk to when you feel really bad. If it gets too bad, you could try to get into some different classes, if he's in your classes right now. but only if it gets really bad. I'm really sorry about that. I hope it works out=)
2006-12-08 10:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by 77684 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIME! This is just another hard time for your heart that will only make it stronger in the future. Is he gay or is he just experimenting? Just be his friend and be there for him! He will never forget the special moments you two shared! Never! 3 years is a long time, and he will give you a second look. May not be anytime soon but they always comeback! But when they do, that is when you look to yourself and ask, do I really want to go back, has it been better for us just being friends, or have I found someone else? The best medicine is time. Good Luck...
2006-12-08 10:20:23 · answer #4 · answered by chuey_33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it doesn't matter if he is with another guy or girl you would still feel the same.
Have a good cry then wipe your tears and get on with life. You can still be friends but dont expect anything else.
Tell him you know it will help to get it all out.
2006-12-08 10:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had this happen to me, only the guy I was with moved before he told me he was gay. Look, it's gonna be tough for a while, when you're remembering all these things that you should have realised meant he was gay, but you'll get over it, especially if you once loved him. You've got to realise that even he mightn't have known until you broke up, and that he should be able to do what he wants. It's hard, but you've got to wake up to the fact that it was his choice, and it's going to be his choice to tell you when he's ready.
2006-12-08 10:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't spend your precious time worrying about that! he has made a choice that he feels he needs to make. I am quite sure it has NOTHING to do with you. I am sure you are hurting right now, but I promise you will laugh about this with your husband someday! "My first love turned gay!" See how ridiculous that sounds! He was gay all along and just didn't know it.
Please try and get over this quickly and move on. You have a lot of guys to date and lots of life to live....this is just one little bump in the road!
God Bless..
2006-12-08 10:18:46 · answer #7 · answered by Agent99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think anybody can do anything here to help but give you words of comfort. Its not like we can make him straight. There really isn't anything you can do but take some time to cope and just get over it. The pain goes away with time. This too shall pass and you will find somebody better. If he is out and gay its better for him because he is happy. Don't you want him to be as well?
2006-12-08 10:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by Here it's December everyday 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ahhh destructive element. properly you basically could come to the tip that people substitute, for the greater efficient or worse. i comprehend it hurts to think of approximately all you will stable circumstances and memories yet what are you able to truly do? he probably became into having a identity disaster on the time he began courting you. so be happy he found out who he became into with the aid of courting you. the upside to that's that he's not in a physc ward or 6 ft under considering maximum people who're coping with those issues are very suicidal. so toddler in a extraordinary twisted way,you're kinda hero in my eyes. its time which you will flow on and discover you that somebody specific purely like he's making an attempt to do. im particularly confident he's grateful for what you and his different gf have executed for him and his existence, and if he's not, he's lame....it bothers you considering you think of you likely did some thing incorrect yet honey you haven't any longer...:)
2016-10-05 01:45:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just act like you always do when you are around him normal. And if and when he gets ready to tell you he will. Just be happy for him. You are lucky you were only 3 months instead of 3 yrs..then you would have really been messed up.
2006-12-08 10:17:39 · answer #10 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋