How should i punish?

Question

My daughter is 10 years old, she always makes straight A's in school, does her chores, never talks back, and very respectful to authority and adults. She recently got a detention from laughing out loud in class. She does have a rather big mouth!! Should I punish her for this, and if so, how do you punish a child who hardly never does anything wrong?

Answer 1

Sounds as if "punish" is a rather strong idea in this case. What I would do is have a serious talk with her about the importance of being quiet in class and just tell her that even though she is an exceptional student, there are some students that really need to be able to hear and pay attention. Loud noise can be rather distracting even for the best of students and let her know that her behavior, however out of character for her, will not be tolerated in the future, but give her the benefit for now. You should also find out what caused her outburst, as she may have just been sitting to close to the class clown and if that be the problem, suggest that she move as to avoid the urge to do that again.

Answer 2

Was the teacher in the middle of a lesson when your child laughed out loud or was it during lunch? Why was she laughing--was she socializing when she should not have been or was it that she found something the teacher or another student did was humorous? If it doesn't say on the detention notification or the teacher didn't tell you when he/she called you, then I would ask your child.

If the disruption was during an inappropriate time (like during a lesson when the teacher was speaking to the class) or if she was socializing when she should not have been, then I would speak to her about levels of respect. It IS disrespectful to socialize and laugh during a lesson (good teachers put a lot of time and effort into their lesson plans). Loud outbursts, even laughter, can cause chaos because if one student does it and receives no consequences, they all want to do it!

She received her punishment at school for an offense at school. Let her know that you support the teacher's decision if you feel it was justified, but do not go above and beyond that; it's overkill at that point. Talk to her about the difference between an "indoor" voice (quiet) and an "outdoor" voice (louder), stressing that she is to use the "indoor" voice at school. That should eliminate any more issues.

It sounds to me as if you've raised a pretty good kid who has a good sense of humor.

Good Luck to you!

Answer 3

I also have a 10 year old daughter, and a 7, and 3 year old.

I know this will sound harsh, but we have a list of core rules which can't be broken at any cost. One of those rules is "not getting in trouble in school" meaning that if a teacher has to take time out of her day to either call me, or pull me aside about a behavior issue my daughters had, she gets a spanking. You must be even more strict with her at this age. Most girls are quits easy between 5-8 or so. My 10 year old was the sweetest thing until she reached the age of 8, 9 was a bit of a tough year for her (many spankings) but now 10 is so far so good.

Your daughter could be starting veer off the straight and arrow, be careful. From what i have learned girls can get out of whack fast, before you know it the little things turn into big things.

Be proud your daughter is so well behaved, but take pride in her by not allowing this to slip by. You said she has a rather big mouth, lol (mine too) Take this opportunity to enforce a consequence that helps her think before she speaks. A good spanking on the bare hiney will do exactly that, afterwords have a long talk about what kind of behavior is acceptable in school, and what is not. I know you may think it's harsh, but it works!! I have 3 well behaved girls to prove it.

Good Luck

Answer 4

That was just wrong, apparently someone said or did something that she found funny, why would she be the only in trouble. I would not punish her, she was not doing anything that warrants a punishment, she had a natural human reaction, the person acting out who made her laugh though would need a serious talking to about causing a disruption in class.

Answer 5

If I were you I would not punish her for a laugh! More then likely she wasnt the only one to do this, she may have been the only one teacher had heard. Just tell her to do more school work in school then having too much fun. Just talk to her about it, but do not punish her for this.

Answer 6

Dam lighten up on the poor girl. If this is all she has done wrong and her grades are good, then what is the problem. Shouldn't the detention be punishment enough?

Answer 7

It would appear that she has already been punished -- she got a detention. If she is punished in addition to that, especially by someone (yourself) who is not aware of all the information about the incident, then it is being punitive for the sake of being punitive.

Answer 8

Did she tell you the whole story? When did she laugh out loud? and what were the circumstances? Was it during a lecture, or a lesson? You need to get the teacher's side of the story as well, maybe her timing was inappropriate..you need to get the whole story before making a decision.

Answer 9

NO, its a detention it won't ruin her life other wise she's a good girl just tell her not to be being loud in class when not supposed to be she should'nt be punished tho

Answer 10

I think u already know not to punish her but to talk to her on why she shouldn't do it. I believe u just want someone to tell you that what u are thinking is right. Good moms are hard to come by and I think u are one. Start trusting your own judgement and I wish u all the luck in raiseing her.