my 4yr old has started to soil herself frequently?

Question

i gave birth to a son 7 weeks ago and for the past two weeks my 4yr old has started soiling herself everyday, i know it is down to insecurities following the birth of my son but what can i do to stop it, we have tried allsorts and i have now run out of ideas

Answer 1

You know yourself- it's for the attention she gets from you when she does it. Make sure (even though you must have your hands full!) you make time for some interaction with her. When you are changing her after she's had an accident try not to interact with her at all, do it as quickly as you can and try not to engage with her,don't be mean to her- just don't provide any extra attention. then, when she does something good- praise her to the high heavens, that ways she gets your attention for something positive- good luck.

Answer 2

Make sure you rule out physical problems too like a urinary tract infection. Maybe with all the newness of the baby she hasn't been drinking enough or maybe she has been holding it.

If it is simply a reaction to the new baby, reassure her daily that you love her still and that shes your big girl and your big helper, but also let her have some "baby" time. When the baby is asleep let her cuddle on your lap and read her a book or do something special that just the two of you could do. You could also get her on a potty schedule if you haven't already. Have her go when she first gets up, right after breakfast, right before and right after mid morning snack, after lunch, etc.. Give her a sticker every time she holds it and doesn't make a mess. Praise goes a long way. And be patient with her, this new baby has turned her world upside down, it will take time to adjust. I'm sure it will all work itself out.

Answer 3

Oh bless, how hard when you have a new baby.She needs lots of attention (know it's hard with a little one aswell) and reassurance that she is just as important as she ever was, if not more so.
Deal with the mess without any fuss as this is how she's getting her attention. You need to find more positive things to praise her on, actually, anything will do like aren't you sitting nicely, thankyou for eating your breakfast so well, it's so nice for mummy and daddy to have such a big clever girl etc. Simple but constant positive praise.
Also, ask your friends and family to get her a little prezzie, like crayons or a book etc and you can also get cards for kids that say you've got a new sister or whatever. This really helped my eldest when i had my second baby. They love to help so you could ask her to fold bibs while you feed or get her to cuddle up for a story and say she has to be in charge of the page turning while you feed baby. I hope this helps and I'm sure she'll settle down soon!

Answer 4

I have a 4 year old sister, ( im 11 -don't worry) and I remember that when she was a bit younger, my mom found a job and my little sister had almost nothing to do, she would whine , and yeah, pee in her pants, and now, ( for the 4th time ) weve moved now to the states, and my mom ( obviously) needs a new job, oh and my lil sis? shes cool, no more wet panies, and when it does happen only at night, and very rarely, for your child, give him stuff to do, like getting baby oil, or helping to put baby powder on, and I bet your child would LOVE to play with the baby, also, even though you must be very busy,put aside an hour during the day to play with your 4 year old, oh, and dont go to a babysitter to play with your child, your child will become attached to the babysitter, (ive had friends where thats happened, ) plase, i know how your 4 ear old feels, i know what its like to suddenely stop getting attention, I was 7 at the time!

Answer 5

I am not going to patronise you as I know you have said you realise she is prob feeling insecure but maybe if you could set aside some special time when its just the two of you!!!

Also, why not let her take part in day to day tasks for your son i.e choosing an outfit to wear out that day, fetching shampoo and talc etc etc

Answer 6

Get her some nappies ... and with encouragement try and get her to understand that she is the big sister now, and that big girls don't wear nappies. It is just insecurity, but she will soon over come it. Make references to her being a big girl as much as yu can ... talk to baby about his clever big sister when you change him infront of her ... it's just encouragement really ... little ones of that age can't really express their emotions ... so actions are usually a way to draw attention to themselves. I am sure you have a rough idea when she needs to go ... I know it's hard, but try and get her to sit on the loo, perhaps with a book. Good luck!

Answer 7

Tell her that you need her to be a big girl and go in the toilet. She has to show her baby brother how big kids go pee pee. Maybe she wouldn't feel the need to go on herself anymore, because she knows that her little brother is looking up to her.

Answer 8

see your health supporter worker this is a sign of regression but can also be other things poor wee lamb just hug her love her abundantly get dad to take the babe and have her alone 4 the day bless you

Answer 9

Get her involved in the care of the baby by having her bring you diapers, wipes, towels when he has a bath. If she doesn't like the idea of diapers (Tell her big girls don't wear diapers) and put her back in pull-ups and tell her that she cannot wear her regular undies until she stops messing her pants.

Answer 10

give her a little more attention this is a cry for attention you have to babies now you need to split your attention and love