At what age....?

Question

Should my husband stop taking our almost 6 yr old daughter into the men's bathroom, instead waiting outside of the girls' while she goes? He does take both girls out without me (I work) and he noticed guys are starting to give them funny looks when he brings her into the men's bathroom.

Answer 1

This comes up in Dear Abby from time to time. He should be on the lookout for the "family rooms". Of course, few stores have them. I don't remember a specific age in Abby, but she fully supports the adult taking the child into the restroom - no matter the genders involved.

Six is too young to just shove in the door. It's too easy for male to be in the womens room waiting for an opportunity. While there was a time you could ask a lady going in to take your daughter, you really can't be safe doing that.

At 12, my daughter would have me check out the ladies room at the park before she would go in (yell if anyone is in there, no answer go in with her to be sure the stalls were clear, then wait outside). She got surprised by a boy in the park restroom once.

The safest thing to do is take them to the mens room, warn any males before you come in. Obviously, he shouldn't be in the stall with them and any funny looks he should dismiss as uncaring parents.

Answer 2

My father stopped taking me when I was about 6 or 7 years old. Even at 7, I was ready to be independent and go into the bathroom on my own. Your husband should just let her go into the woman's bathroom on her own (afterall, she can use the toilet on her own, she doesn't need her father there). It's an appropriate age and chances are, there's only 1 way to go in and out of the bathroom. Have them set up a time limit, reasonable, of course, so that your husband doesn't worry.

When I see women bringing in their 6-8 year old sons into the restroom (yes, I've seen it happen!) I understand that they're worrying, but they also have to take other people into consideration that if they're old enough to use the toilet on their own, as long as a parent is standing on guard outside the bathroom, the child should be allowed to go in by themselves.

Answer 3

I know the world is different now but the time is now. I make my boys count really loud while they are in the bathroom. If they stop counting for any reason I go right in. Most people applaud me for giving them their independence yet still looking out for their safety. I have only had a few stares and I really don't care. My boys are 4 and 8 and my 8 year old has been doing this since he was 6 1/2.

Answer 4

Talk to your daughter about it. Consider how she feels about going to the men's room. I would have him start letting her go alone in restauants, as long as he can see the bathroom doors from where he's sitting. If he can't, he should take both girls to the door, and let the older one go in the restroom while he waits outside. This rule should apply almost anywhere. If they're in a mall, most have a family bathroom somewhere. Our Macy's even has a family restroom. He can let her go in the room and lock the door, and feel comfortable knowing no one can take her. How does your husband feel about it? Talk to him and your daughter and work out a solution you all feel comfy with. You want your daughter to be safe, first and foremost. If you're all comfortable, throw the dirty looks out the window.

Answer 5

The first priority is your children's safey, would you leave them unattended at their age, no. Then they can not use the bathroom on their own.

Assuming he is out somewhere without family washrooms, he should either a) ignore the strangers b) demand to use the employee washroom so he can get privacy or c) use the women's washroom.

Unfortunatly men's washrooms have urinals and I can see why other men, and you may be uncomfortable with your older girls seeing other men's penises, even though I grew up with a nudist father. He should do what he and you are most comfortable with, and scr*w anyone else.

I am sorry but your children's safety must come first and all stores should really have family washrooms!

Answer 6

Its time for him to stop taking her into the mens bathroom. She is old enough for him to wait outside the girls bathroom. Next time you, him, and your daughter go out. Suggest letting her go on her own to show him that she can handle it. Good Luck and Take Care.

Answer 7

My gym doesn't allow opposite sex bathroom privileges for children over the age of 4 (don't know if this helps or not). Most malls now days have family bathrooms where he can take her in with him. Otherwise, I think it's time to explain what she does in the bathroom (hurry, lock door, wash hands) and what she doesn't do (talk to strangers, etc). She should also be told what to do if someone approaches her (but easy on this so she doesn't get too scared).

Answer 8

I think 6 is a little old to be going in the mens room with him. She is old enough that she knows how to wipe and make sure she "clean" and to wash her hands, not to mention she is old enough to ask questions about the other men.
I commend him for taking care of 2 girls while you work. But I think its time to let her do this part on her own.. with him waiting near the door of course.

Answer 9

You can't trust people, she might walk into the girls bathroom and not come back out. I would have him cover there eyes and take them to a stall in the mens bathroom, and then cover there eyes as they leave. Much rather be over protective then let something happen. I'd wait till she was 8 or 9, when she can fully understand how to scream and kick and that someone might want to hurt her...

Answer 10

I say screw the men with the funny looks. Just about a week ago there was a story on the news here in Utah. A 13 year old girl went into the restroom at a movie theater. She was raped in there. I say protect your children as long as you can. I do. (I mean at 13 it is a bit too old to go into the men's restroom, but at least be there) You never know who is already in the restroom. Good luck