Boyfriend of 4 years is 21. He is ready to settle down and have kids, be married....etc! I know that I'm ready to be all the above, but am I too young. I love him so much!
2006-12-08 08:26:22 · 19 answers · asked by acoats2006 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I was once told 4 questions to ask yourself when trying to decide if you are ready or not. Think about these and be brutally honest with yourself.
1. If this man NEVER EVER changes, and is EXACTLY the way he is right now...will you be still be happy with him in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? (consider everything - work, drinking, lifestyle attitudes - everything)
2. Is this man someone that you would like to be more like? (How would you feel if you were just like him in personality?)
3. Is this someone you would like to have children with?
4. If you did have children with this man, how would you feel if they turned out EXACTLY like him?
If you answer 'no' to any of these questions, you might want take some time to think about why before making any decisions.
Hope that helps!
Best wishes to you!
2006-12-08 08:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by Reiki Chick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 22 and I've been with the same person for 6 years so I completely understand. I would ask yourself this: If you needed to post this question on Yahoo and get feedback then perhaps you've already answered your question.
Perhaps you feel this way... that you want to be married and have kids with him but it's not that time in your life.
If you are 19 and he's 21 then I assume you met in High School. (I was a Junior when I began dating my Boyfriend) Now that you have graduated are the two of you still on the same page? Do you both have the same goals? Or interest?
I know this might be hard to think of but from my own experience I've changed a lot since High School and my boyfriend has too. It's just that we have gone different ways... I am going to college and he barely graduated from High School. This is a HUGE difference between us and it took me a while to realize who I am (without him) and what I wanted out of a relationship.
The love of my life is not the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I do know that I thought the same things about my boyfriend that you think about yours.
Trust yourself... then ask your friends and family what they think and trust them.
Two great books I absolutely love are "He's Just Not That Into You" and part two... It's Called a Breakup because It's Broken" they have some really good advice.
2006-12-08 22:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by keepitreal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ready for a lifestyle of parenting then go for it. Your an adult and can make your own decisions. But before you do so, weigh your options. Do you plan on going to college and living a college life or are you REALLY ready to settle down? This can't be a decision that you change your mind with in two years, you have to be in it for the long haul. Also, this is assuming you two can support yourselves financially. If not, don't have kids yet!!
2006-12-08 21:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by Tim O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking the question, the answer is wait.
Personally, my response would be to wait even if you were absolutely certain. Get some more experience to bring to the relationship. If it's true love, it will still be there in a couple of years. If not - raising children alone is a difficult task.
In every great event there are three stages:
anticipation - waiting for the event to happen
Realization - the event takes place, and you enjoy it as it happens
Reflection - looking back and savoring the flavor of the event that has taken place.
Right now you are in anticipation - enjoy it, flavor it, savor it. When it's over, it's over. Don't rush into it - let things come in their own time.
By the way - it's not just you. I would give your boyfriend exactly the same advice.
2006-12-08 16:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by Uncle John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there is no right age to be ready for all that. When your ready, just take a step back and picture yourself with that man for the rest of your life. Can you see that?? Wether your 19 or 91 when your ready just make sure you really are. People these days are marrying for all the wrong reasons.
2006-12-08 16:38:35 · answer #5 · answered by deevah_99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I tell my daughter "Don't get married until you have done everything you've wanted to do on your own!" I have been with my husband for 12 years we met when I was 18 and I had my daughter when I was 20 and I wouldn't take any of it back but I will tell you I wish I would have "lived" a little before settling down. If he loves you then he will wait just a little longer until you are ready!
2006-12-08 16:33:44 · answer #6 · answered by HARWOODH 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I married my husband when I was 19 and he was 21. We are still together and will celebrate our 4 year anniversary in March. We have two beautiful girls, age 2 1/2 and 8 months. I am happy I did it but there are times when I see my friends going out to the bars and not having responsibilities and miss being young. I wouldn't trade my kids for it though. If you don't feel like you are finished being young then wait. You still have plenty of time to get married and have a family later.
2006-12-08 16:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by megkenzee 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is no set age on when you are ready to settle down. I did it at 18, im 33 now and me and my husband(high school sweetheart) are doing just fine, we have 3 beautiful kids. Just talk it out and make sure this is what you BOTH really want because once you start having kids your life will change!! Good Luck!!
2006-12-08 17:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by Who Dat Chic!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your ready to settle down with one guy and be serious, thats great but having kids is a big step. live for a while first. i got pregnant at 19 and again at 22 and believe me i love my kids but i really wish i couldve partied and had a life first. its not always easy to find a babysitter and just have fun without thinking about whos going to take care of the baby at 2 am.
2006-12-08 16:30:19 · answer #9 · answered by kd baby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready to do all of the above, then you are not too young. I would say to take it slow. Get married in two years, have kids in four, etc.
2006-12-08 16:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by sundragonjess 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋