My mom is dying form cancer and i want to know the best way to cope with it...please help!?

Answer 1

I am sooo sorry you are going thru this, it truly a tragedy, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayer, especially this time of year. do you have a clergyman at church? or maybe find a grief counselor in your area. good luck and God Bless!!

Answer 2

This is the second type of question I have answered today, and I am really feeling sad right now. My moms name was Candis, and she passed away from lung cancer. I stayed with her for the three months she was ill, and then she was gone. There is no easy answer for coping with this tragedy because it affects every person differently. For me the only way I coped was with the guidance of God. I am not a religious nut I'm only telling you how I endured. For three long months I stayed with my mom, and it was not easy. To see her sick, and in that hospital setting was agonizing for us all. Please try to seek the love of your family because you can't go through something like this alone. God will enter into your circumstances, and he will help you through this. He certainly did for me, and my family. No matter what He can turn things around. If you believe even if she is taken you will have peace.

Answer 3

I am sooo very sorry to hear that. That is a very hard thing to deal with. My mom died of colon cancer when I was 17. There's really no way to completely cope with it. Just spend all the time with her you can. And hospice is definitely a great idea. Just let her know how much you love her. Maybe make a scrapbook about her life.

Answer 4

What type of cancer does your mother have? The only solution I can tell you is as I speak from experience, because both of my parents died from cancer, and after my father died I wanted to be an oncologist. So here I am several years later. Back to what I was saying is to be there for your mother, and she will appreciate it a lot. But you have to be strong for her. Any sign that you show in front of her that it might upset your mother, and she needs to be stress free while battling with this terminal cancer she has. You will go through a grieving process that is part of life. The only I can think of is time to accept the current situation you are facing with here.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear it. Cancer affects everyone, so it's not just your mom's battle. I've worked with oncology patients many years and I find that depending on what stage of their own greiving process that they are in, determines what they need from family and friends.
The stages of grief (for the patient) are:

D-enial-self explanatory

A-nger- mad at God, others, the world, themselves

B-argaining- making deals with God ( ex."if you just give me until Thanksgiving", etc.)

D-epression- loss of hope

A-cceptance- finally make peace with the situation, make plans, say goodbyes, etc.

Wherever your mom is, depends on what yopu need to give her. If she is really dying and you don't anticipate her to live--then it's not about you. This is her time. You'll have the rest of your life to grieve.
I've often found that cancer patients, towards the end are very open and have no reservations about expressing themselves. Take this time to really get to KNOW her. Talk about things you never have before, no matter how seemingly insignificant the subject matter is. Hold her hands and hold her face to yours while you can. Comb her hair, do her laundry. This is therapeutic for you as well.
You can take advantage of hospice--but I think these are really useful during the very last stages of life. A good hospice will handle medications (comfort only-not treatment), necessary home supplies, like shower chairs, wheelchairs, and even a sitter to allow the family to take some time for themselves once in a while.

It's a lot to think about and deal with at the holidays, but you will get through it.

Answer 6

My mother died with colon cancer ten years ago. I can remember it like it was yesterday. When I first found out I thought I would lose it. It was horrible, the worst thing I could think of. I hated it. I wrestled with it, I dreaded it, I wondered how life would continue without her, I cried and cried, I sat outside on the porch, looked at the stars and ask God why, and cried some more. I tried to comfort her and be there and suck it up. I had good friends that supported me as I was an only child. I prayed and finally turned it over to God because I realized it was all totally out of my control. I had to give it to God because he was my only hope of acceptance and peace. I can assure you I made it through the experience, and though changed forever, I had peace beyond my expectations, and I had to smile, thank God for what I was allowed to have everyday, and I am still thanking him. Death is part of life, and we must all come to terms with it. I pray you will be blessed by God and given the strength and peace you need.

Answer 7

I'm going on the one year anniversary of the same thing. My heart goes out to you, We took advantage of the hospice offered to us. We did it at home, it was a lot of work, but ultimately it was the best thing we could do for her. Spend as much time with her as you can, try to get her to do things that she has always wanted to do, if she can still that is.. My mom always wanted to go to branson missouri but she couldnt travel so a couple of friends of ours travelled there, and shot a narrated video of all the attractions down there. We played the video for her and she loved it. We were going to hire a chef, and setup a mock alaskan cruise for her using video and fine foods, but unfrotunately we ran out of time and she wasnt awake anymore. We stayed close by, talked to her, read to her, I played guitar and sang to her, played the piano, told her jokes and stuff.. played a cd of some very etherial mood music ( you know the kind you can get at the store for relaxation)...we were all present and holding her hands, huggin her when the end came and it was the most peaceful thing I have ever witnessed. The more personal things you can do with her the better off you are.

But please take advantage of all that the hopsice team has to offer, they can really help you cope with everything. they are very good, and very experienced.

Im so sorry to hear about your mom.

Best of luck to you, and God bless.

Answer 8

i'm sooo sorry! Do you've a grief counselor you may search for suggestion from from? Ask the hospice human beings to refer you to someone. you're surely your mom's caregiver and they should be in a position which could actually help you by the creation months. Why no longer also contact the american maximum cancers Society? they ought to have communities that meet round the country. also, attempt the Meetup communities on your area. i visit't imagine what you and also you're mom are dealing with. i'm soooo sorry!

Answer 9

i think this a great opportunity to spend time with and make her live her most happiest moments next to the ones she loves, which involves you. you only need to make her happy and enjoy her to the max, tell her everything you need to tell her before its too late and later regret it. dont let cancer be an obstacle between your mom and you. stop trying to find answers here, and try to answer your questions by taking some actions. unfortunately, our lifes dont have a price on it nd we dont have them bought either, so make her happy and glad and proud to be your mother. (i have personal experience with my grandfather)!!!

i know exactly how you feel, and i feel terrible what you are experiencing right now. but i can tell you that this will make you even more a stronger person. hope that everything works about very good and the best for your mother. good luck.

Answer 10

The reality is no one knows exactly how you feel. No one can tell you what the best way for you to deal with it is. You need to find that answer for yourself. Different things work for different people. You should talk with a social worker or psychologist. They can help you find your support system through this. I am so sorry for you and your family. The only other advice I can offer is: allow yourself to feel, and to cry. Don't shut out your emotions.

Answer 11

This is an opportunity to be together and keep positive about her life and know that this is just the next step. yes you all we miss her but know that she did good while here and you all can meet up again on the other side, Pain management, quality of life and love is all you can do now. make it a good time. lookinto hospice care it really does help, keep her close at home and comfortable.