we have been toghether now for about 5 years,he was such a sweet tender guy, but he has changed a great deal lately. he started of by calling me names that i didn't like, but i still stuck to him. but now he is untolerable, the names he's calling me are very insultive, i used to be blonde and cos of his slur about blonde women i changed to a red head,why is he like this and what should i do?
2006-12-08 07:58:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
leave him, but just before you do, call him a foul mouthed ba...tard.
2006-12-08 08:16:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is obviously becoming more used to your relationship. He knows what makes you tick, and your boundary lines. I know it is hard to leave such an valued relationship. You have to make a list of pro's and con's about him, really think this over, and answer with your heart. It's possible that your relationship just need a "makeover." Get him alone and really talk to him about how you have been feeling. Tell him what is on your mind. Let him know that the things he says are hurting you, and possibly your relationship. Give him a chance to soak this in, and maybe guide him as to how he can make you feel great. Don't be implusive, or try to change him, but make your feelings known. What have you got to lose?
2006-12-08 16:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say why he is this way toward you, but I do know that the best thing for you to do is to hit the door running, and get as far as you can away from him. If he cannot or will not treat you as the lady that you are, then you don't need him around you at all. Also, if he really loved you, he would not be calling you names and putting you down. You don't say if you have any family around or not, but if you do, go to them. If not, there are places in every city where women in abusive relationships can go and get the help they need...go to one and get that help. You deserve to be treated as a lady, not as a verbal punching bag. I will be praying for you.
2006-12-08 16:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by Bill B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is making u change for him, then there must be something wrong with the relationship. maybe he is going through something at work/school/family right now and takeing it out on u. in my opinion, u should tell him that u do not want to see him unless he stops calling you names and insulting u. it is not good to be in a relationship like that because it could turn into something physical which is even worse.
hope this helps!
2006-12-08 16:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him.
Really, it's that simple. If he's being rude and emotionally abusive, then leave him. He's not going to change because he's getting something out of hurting you.
Yes, you spent 5 years together, but that was in the past. A past investment does not always pay off in the future.
2006-12-08 16:01:56 · answer #5 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just tell him straight up to his face that if this is how he is gunna be in this relationship then you want no part of it.. and of course i pretty sure that as a guy like himself he will come crawling back to you saying oh he is so sorry and crap.
if this happens then just tell him you had all you could take and you won't take it anymore.
actually i wrote a couple poems about something liek this here is one if youw anna read it
i have gone through somthing liek this before
this is the poem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not my problem
You had your chance
And you let it slide away,
That is your fault not mine,
So go on with you day,
I left because I had enough,
I’m sick of you abusive names,
I don’t care if you say you’ve changes,
Because I won’t go back to playing your games
Forget about me,
I’m no longer yours to hold,
It is your problem not mine,
I should not take that is what I have been told
I refuse to live in that hell,
I will not take anymore of that pain,
I told you already just leave me alone,
apparently if you think I still love you your insane
I hope that helps
2006-12-08 16:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. Mystery 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heres what you do.... first you tell someone you trust that you are planning on leaving him, to let them know when and why.(If you do, you don't want to be alone and you want someone to help you out.) Then you tell him he better change or your gonna leave him. Listen this is IMPORTANT, if he gets mad tell him you'll gonna call the police(only if he is about to hit you) If he gets scared of you leaving him, kick his a** then leave. Don't ever be afraid to tell your friends and family or trusted ones. Anyways if he doesn't stop calling you affensive names after you tell him your leaving, leave his a** in a heart beat!
2006-12-08 16:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by Des 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Aardvark sez:
You only have two choices.
1. The stupid answer.
Stay with him take the abuse and hope he changes which is doubtful.
2. Get smart.
Get rid of the boyfriend before things get worse, which they will.
It's up to you. Are you stupid or are you smart?
Good luck My Friend.
2006-12-08 16:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by The Aardvark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's never going to change. If anything, it's only going to get worse. The only way things will get better is if he gets anger management and maybe even medication. The best thing to do is get out. I know from personal experience...if you stay it might start to get physically abusive.
2006-12-08 16:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by *Droogie* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always get your male alter ego's to come defend you:
Alpha.male 29 best answers, all but 1 from the other names on this list.
Alpha.female 25 best answers all but 1from the other names on this list.
The_reporter 25 best answers, all but 4 from the other names on this list.
News.caster 31 best answers, all from the other names on this list.
Mr.truth 31 best answers, all but 2 from the other names on this list.
Mrs.truth 29 best answers, all from the other names on this list.
W.M.D’s_brother 18 best answers, all but 1 from this list.
Out of a total of 188 best answers all but 9 are from these 7 IDs.
They award 96.25 of the questions they ask best answers to themselves.
If they will give you this many best answers they should come to your rescue.
2006-12-09 01:06:51 · answer #10 · answered by tattle.tale 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, a guy is gonna do whatever you LET him do, stand up for urself, call him names back or tell him you dont appreciate his remarks. If he can't respect that then he doesn't deserve you.
2006-12-08 16:03:42 · answer #11 · answered by c_wilson2k5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋