I am 19 and i am happily HAPPILY married!!! I know you are all going to start telling me that i am too young! believe me i have heard it! I have know/been with my husband for 5 yrs. i was just wondering when i should have a baby! We have both been talking about it for a while. We both have great jobs i am a secretary in a law firm and he is a train engineer, we live in a very spacious apartment with two cats and a dog...but we want a baby...what do you think??
2006-12-08 07:51:15 · 47 answers · asked by Sarah H 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you need to ask strangers life changing decisions, and believe me a baby will change the life of you and especially your husband more than you could ever predict, you are not mature enough yet to have a baby. Sorry.
2006-12-08 07:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I myself found the man I was going to merry at the young age of 15. Everyone told me I was crazy. Anyway long story short we moved in together at 19 and married at 21. And are still married and cant even think that we would ever be apart. Having said that you have to grow together in a marriage and my husband and I never thought we would turn out to be the people we are today just 8 years latter at the age of 29. We have 2 beautiful kids. and I have to say I'm so glad that we waited to have kids.You grow so much in these years. Why take that away from yourself and your husband for that matter. You need the chance to become the best you can. You know your future kids need the best 2 parents they can have. The love you want to share with that little baby will be just as strong or stronger in a few years.
2006-12-08 08:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by rosebud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its up to you guys. You've got all your ducks in a row. Rings on fingers and jobs at hand. Those are the two basic things.
The more time you can give eachother to be man and wife and sort out that aspect of your life, the stronger you'll be when the baby comes and have an easier time with that transition.
You will never have enough money to raise a baby. It simply doesnt work that way. NO matter how much money you make, most of it will go to the kids. But its always a good idea to have a couple thousand in the bank just incase the roof starts to leak, you get sick, laid off, or the car gets totalled. You never know what can happen when you least expect it to.
My mom got married at 18, had me at 19. New my dad for 2 years. It put a lot of stress on their marriage. BUt three kids and 25 years later theyre still together and still strong. It was just a hard hard battle to survive.
2006-12-08 07:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your happy and ready then go for it! I had my son at 21, a year ago and it has worked out well. We weren't quite as organised as your are, but we both worked and were saving up to buy our own place, we just bought it a bit quickeer and got ready!
I can hand on heart say its the best thing thats ever happened! Be prepared for less nights out and less spontinuity in your life but just think, by the time your child is 18 and leaving home you won't be even be 40! When he goes to school you can go back to work and you'll only be 24 - still young enough to start a career or get back to what you already do!
Well done for being so responsible and good luck! Mail me if you want to chat more!
2006-12-08 07:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait till you've been married and living together at least three years. This gives you both a chance to work out any major "kinks" that come up as you grow together. Stuff that you have to learn over time, and can't just "talk out". When it comes to being in a good, solid relationship, your age doesn't matter. My younger sister is a 20-y-o college student, and engaged already to a guy who's still in high school. But, they are rock-solid, and both are smart (as in, top-ten graduates in school, and geniuses & stuff), and know what they want out of life and each other. So, age really isn't an issue. I would be taking advantage of the time you have together, just the two of you. As others have said, when you have a baby, it's never just about you two again. You will never have that freedom to "do it on the dining table" again!
Parenthood brings up a whole new set of issues to work out- and new arguments. Stuff like how to discipline, how to work housekeeping around your schedules, who should watch your kids, all can be very contentious. And it's even harder when you don't have that instinctive knowledge of your partner that comes with time. I've been married for almost 7 yrs, and have known my hubby for 8, and had our son after 4 yrs.
I'm glad we waited (we kinda had to b/c I was sick for the first 3 yrs). We now understand our deepest philosophies of life, faith, etc. which makes it much easier to make decisions quickly and execute them efficiently. We just "know" what the other would do, and can act accordingly knowing that our partner would approve in our absence. We very rarely have to discuss what should have been done. If you have questions about what the heck I'm talking about, email me.
Good luck in what ever you do!
2006-12-08 08:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Angela M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How long have you been married? If it hasn't been at least a year - wait awhile longer. Once a baby is born - it will never be just the two of you again. You're young - enjoy the time alone with your husband NOW! It's hard to find that time later on when you have babies, trust me!
Above all - follow your heart - and talk everything over between the two of you. It is a lot of work! I had my first one when I was 18, #3 is due anytime now - I'm 25. I like starting a family early - it will hopefully give me more time later on in life to do more things!
2006-12-08 07:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think as long as you genuinally want a baby, can afford to care for it have the time and patience to love and look after it and accept that with a baby you get a responsibility for the rest of your life then it is the right time. You have to remember that a baby will not be a baby for ever, and you have to want the child it will grow into and the adult it will later become. It will change the whole relationship between you and your husband.......but if you have it for the right reasons these changes will be for the better. Good luck x
2006-12-12 03:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by Little Muffin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi sweetheart im 20 and i got married when i was 19!! everyone told me it was too young too but we are so happy, age is a number. i have a son he is 9 weeks old and he was concieved on our wedding night! we was like you and had been talking about it for a year before, i had to take fertility treatement, but he is the best thing life can bring. being a mum opens a whole new world its an amazing feeling but let me tell you know its hard work. if you have a good job would you really be prepared to give it up to look after a baby? they are a full time job and take up all your spare time. babys are a lifetime commitment and cause friction between you and your partner because of the constant demand, then theres night feeds and screaming sessions, in our house i hardly get time for a bath!! im not trying to put you off, i wanted a baby since i was 16, but hell i didnt realise what a big responsibility it is! you have to think long and hard, youre only young, do you want to concentrate on being with your partner and have time for yourself, having holidays just the two of you?having time together? its totally your call and when your mind is set on the idea i know no1 can change you! but please realise its hard work and theyre there for life, you have the ideal situation for a baby but are you truly ready? good luck whatever you decide to do hun xx
2006-12-08 19:52:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no clear answer for this I'm afraid. on one hand you are young and have a lot to experience - however so was i and i wouldn't change it for the world. when i feel pregnant with my first it was totally unplanned and very scary. this has turned out to be the best thing i have ever done. however baby number 2 is due next year and was planned - since falling pregnant my life has turned upside down and now I'm worried it was a bad move. I'm going to get on with it and make best of the situation and love both my children. what I'm trying to say is no matter what you plan/ wish for reality can be completely different and its only how you deal with it that decides weather you have done the right thing or not. good luck!!
2006-12-09 08:58:08 · answer #9 · answered by bow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a child lasts a lifetime. A baby brings many joys and many challenges to your life. Having a child changes your home life, relationships, activities, work or school situation and financial situation.Relationships and social situations play an important role in planning a pregnancy and having a family. People who know themselves, feel secure, have supportive relationships, and want children are better able to provide a healthy and loving environment for a child. Just think well before your final decision and good luck.
2006-12-08 08:06:47 · answer #10 · answered by brunette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you wait a year before deciding? In that time, you can save up loads of money, ready for the baby if you still decide to have one soon, and make the most of spending precious time with just the two of you. Having a baby's also very hard work - can you focus on practicing by looking after the babies of others close to you occasionally?
2006-12-08 08:03:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋