I tried asking this question before and left out a few details - so I"ll try again. My 30 something year old brother is being irresponsible with his money and his life basically...he has a wife and 2 kids and has never kept a job longer than a few years. They've been homeless, they've been foodless and they've been car-less. The more and more time that goes by that I don't say anything we grow apart more and more. I care more about my brother than I do about the irresponsible life he's leading. I miss him in my life, I miss him in my kids lives....do I tell him or just let him do his thing? He and his wife are very self involved and I think saying something will only make him drift further away, but I'm afraid trying is the only way I'll ever know.
2006-12-08 07:40:37 · 7 answers · asked by :) 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you think your brother doesn't realize he's a f-u-c-k u-p, you're wrong, He knows. And one thing he doesn't need is for you to remind him of it.
If you want to help, offer assistance other than money. If you offer money you'll never see it again and you'll make him dependent on you. Watch the kid while he looks for a job, heck, I don't know, you'll know better. If you want to help, be supportive, not combative.
And, you're right. If you confront him and you're combative, you'll lose him. Among many other things, your brother is embarrassed. Don't make things worse.
2006-12-08 08:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure his wife will be giving him a hard enough time over this situation but dont drift apart become a healthy part of his life and his family and help out where you can without over stepping the boundries
2006-12-08 17:45:09 · answer #2 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think he would really change if you confront him? My *guess* would be no. So if it were me and I wanted a relationship with him I would overlook the irresponsible life style and accept him as is. Maybe if your relationship grows you can *ask* him if you could give him some advise and go from there.
Sorry!! I know crap like this is hard. Hang in there!!
2006-12-08 15:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by luv3dbb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you should definately tell him how you feel; there may be under lying issues for his behavior....drugs, drinking etc......if that is the case, he really does need your help and so do his children.
The only way you will find out is to sit him down and have an open
and frank discussion with him-make him aware that his continued behavior could lead to the removal of his children. He really sounds like he could use his family right now and he is lucky that he has a sister that cares. Good Luck!
2006-12-08 15:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by spruce848 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that you should keep iin contact with them just so that you know their well being is safe. dont push the fact that you know their negative lifestyle. you cant always direct a sibling on how to steer their lives, but you can definately let them know that you are there for them for anything.
let him be independent and get his life together with his family. if he needs the help, im sure he knows he can depend on you temporarily.
goodluck.
2006-12-08 15:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If trying to say something is the only way you'll ever know, then you have to go ahead.
But if he's not there for his own family, how can he be there for your kids, and you.
2006-12-08 15:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you my sister?God if you are please get involved.I miss you too.I hate my life.I feel so emty without you.Please tell me what to do to get us back togather? You can help. I want my life back on track.
2006-12-08 16:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by I'm Jerry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋