I've never been in a relationship, but some of my friends and family members were in abusive relationships. They said that the guy was all sweet at first, but he eventually became verbally and physically abusive? How can I tell whether a guy can be trusted? What are the signs? How do I know if beyond that nice guy appearance, there isn't a controlling monster?
2006-12-08 07:11:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know how to tell beforehand and save you all of the trouble, but when you're dating an abusive guy he's nice when you first start out. Then after a little bit you'll notice he makes jealous comments about you hanging out with your friends. Then it turns into telling you that you can't have friends. He'll get upset when you wear a shirt with a little cleavage and tell you that you can't wear anything like it anymore... and etc etc...
And all the while he feeds you excuses about why he doesn't want you to have friends, and why you can't pick out your own wardrobe, and why you can't go out shopping with your family... he'll say because he loves you so much and he doesn't want to lose you or something lame - and you believe him and stay with him and it gets worse.
Just be able to point out when he's telling you to do things that he has no right to tell you to do. If you point it out to him and he feeds you some lame excuse about how he wants to be with you forever, blah blah... then I would leave him on the spot. It's not worth it.
Oh yeah, listen to the ex-girlfriends! You won't want to believe them b/c you'll think they're jealous or something, but if they say he's abusive, then don't take it lightly.
2006-12-08 07:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by F.J. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this might seem undesirable- yet run and run quickly. This guy individual isn't waiting to be married in any respect. he's (or she) been married two times, and he's taking no duty for the loss of life of the relationsip. Adultery is many times the fault of the two events. whilst that's no longer consistently the case- the popular public of the time adultery happens because of fact one companion is calling for something the different companion isn't or won't supply. Alcoholism is a illness, and could be a valid reason to end a courting. besides the shown fact that that's no longer a as quickly as sided subject. you may tell somebody is an alcoholic after a pair of months of relationship- loads of time to no longer marry them. I woudl spend extra time conversing related to the blunders they have made, what they have found out from the previous relationships and what replaced into stable approximately them. in the event that they are able to't inform you one factor that replaced into stable (besides the intercourse), they are not getting what a real lasting courting is approximately. And a technique or the different whilst this marriage comprises an end- it would be all your fault. i might advise couples counseling. that's no longer in straightforward terms for those with issues, yet can help you draw closer and pass previous subject concerns you will possibly no longer additionally know contain there. it may help you strengthen the courting, study to talk extra suitable and confirm you're committed sufficient to the courting to bypass via something.
2016-10-14 07:03:58 · answer #2 · answered by trinkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I think you know after a few quality times together. My x husband was so handsome at first when we dated I never would see his temper, Ioves his out look. After we moved into gether he became more jelous but I loved him so much thinking he would change it only got worse. Soon those handsome looks mean't nothing. I knew his father had been abusive to his mother and him But I fell for him anyway do not let looks decieve you. I am single now and just got out of another relationship that was also getting to be mentaly abusive and once again scarred me. He also was very handsome. I look back now at my father who was verbly abusive now I see why I made those mistakes, we seem to pick out mates like a father figure. Watch for the signs do not let looks deceive you. God Bless and good luck!
2006-12-08 07:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by pookiepoo11 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't always tell. Since the guy usually doesn't know that he will become abusive either. Just watch for little signs, or if you know his past at all. Make sure if you are in that situation, get out and don't let it continue. DO NOT DEAL WITH IT!!!
2006-12-08 07:15:41 · answer #4 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Watch how he treats his mother and what his home life is like. It's not failproof, but it's a good indication.
2006-12-08 07:18:02 · answer #5 · answered by Roberta 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i didnt really read all that you said. but what my mom told me that i've seen is a good rule of thumbs to abide by is: IF A MAN dosen't RESPECT HIS MOTHER, HE WON'T RESPECT HIS WIFE (or whatever the/your case may be)
2006-12-08 07:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by So_Needless_2_Say 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
by how he acts when you go out without him
2006-12-08 07:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by gia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋