I love my fiance but lately I don't have the "passion" for him like I think I should.?

Question

I don't know what to do and I need some advice. Here's my story-
I started out as just friends with my now fiance, for 2 years. I always knew, even from the beginning of our friendship, that he wanted to be with me but I insisted on staying friends but 2 years later I started to have romantic feelings for him that I couldn't hide any longer- so we started dating..... and now, 3 years later we're engaged (and soon to be married) and I question my feelings for him.
He's an amazing man. He's the type of man that'll do the dishes for you for no reason or rub your feet after a long day, without expecting anything. He's such a great guy and I know I could be a happy woman with him but lately I haven't felt that crazy passion for him. Don't get me wrong, he's attractive and all, but I'm just not running to give him kisses or wanting to have crazy sex with him, you know? That passionate feeling.
Am I just being silly? Is that whole passionate-thing, all Hollywood? Please help! Thx!

Answer 1

Well, you're gonna get more used to/comfortable with a person the longer you're with them... maybe you guys just need to do some different things to spice it up a little...
If you don't think changing some stuff will help, then you might want to consider if you're really happy or not. It wouldn't be the best idea to go through with it if you're not happy with him. But he sounds like a nice guy, so just see if you can find "passion" with him again... think about all the reasons you love him and see if that helps...

I know it's a little cliche to give you a relationship advice article, but I like this site and this one might apply to your situation:

http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,traceycox_9g1dp3qn,00.html

Answer 2

The all out passion phase only lasts a few years. Then the true love springs into action. You are not going to have the crazy passion feeling forever. You are coming into the stage where you show if you really love each other or were just infatuated with each other. He sounds like a great man. After a few years, you need to work at the passion, but it's worth it. You don't say if you have kids, but if you're already questioning your feelings, then what will happen when you have a baby and can't get intimate for 6 weeks and you are up all night with the baby and you smell like spit up and poop, and he's cranky and you're tired......See, what I'm getting at? Either you love him or you don't. There will be good and bad times. There will be times when you can't keep your hands off him and times when if he touches you, you cringe. That's just love. And you're not even married yet!!! True Love is when you're in it for the long haul and you can't go by your feelings. You have to KNOW you love him. Eventually when he does the dishes or take out the trash, it will turn you on because you know he cares about you. I can't explain it but when my husband does laundry or takes out the trash or helps make my day easier, I am so turned on. I know he cares!!! That's what it all boils down to. If your man treats you right, do something to spice up the love life and be thankful for him.

Answer 3

Ok my lady, it sounds like you have been living together, and have done everything except get married. What you are experiencing is very common in many marriages. Almost all couples have a cooling off after they have been married for a while. Sometimes it goes and comes. For me it has always been down hill after marriage, and then a leveling off you might say!! If you want to keep that passion, then you may have to change partners every so often. If you want a good husband, sounds like you better stay where you are. Less hope that your sex life don't get to be boreing, but that happens too, through no fault of anyone, and then someone ends up cheating!! Yep, marriage is tough my friend!!

Answer 4

Spend some time apart, like you going on a nice vacation with your girlfriend. When you get back you should truly know how you feel. It sounds like you are already living the life of a married couple, so maybe, the passion is leaving the relationship, this can happen to married couples, the passion just dyes away. Discuss this with your married friends, their advice will be the best advice and you would be surprises how many of them might be in the same boat as you.

Answer 5

I know what you mean...but as bad as I hate to admit it that is just the ways things go. That kind of passion doesn't last and I guess that is a good thing because we would wear ourselves out if it did last too long. You are probably at the sweet comfortable stage right now and that is good too. It's when you get the the "God! I wish he would go away" stage that you have to start worrying. Please don't do something rash and then be sorry for it later when you realize that he was a "good thing" you let slip away. Believe me, when your passion rises again, he will be there to match it! God bless you both.

Answer 6

That passion thing comes with 'new love' i had that too with my fiance but now we have been together so long its kinda not so crazy omg i need to have you. we are used to each other and we see each other EVERYDAY.
its not that your passion is dying for him. you will have that passion in the beggining of evry relationship and eventually it will wear away but that is where you find out if it is true love!
if your passion is starting to get low but you still love the guy you know youve got the right guy
if when your passion is dying you start not to like him then thats when you have to worry

your passion will come and go during your marriage its just at one of those times ya know?
try something new in bed or try not having sex for like 2 weeks
or go on a vacation or go for a night on the town
something like that could get your passion going again

good luck!!!!

Answer 7

Maybe it's just a phase. My boyfriend and I get like that, too. We both go through it. It should pass in time. However, this might be a nervous feeling... Like, you're kind of scared at the thought that you're going to be spending the rest of your life with one person. Or, you might not be "soul mates".. Take time and be patient, but I think you need to talk to him about it. Don't take him for granted. Let him know how you're feeling because it might just be that he can help you out.

Answer 8

check this out ok i think from what i am hearing you love him dearly but i feel that you are scared probably like question yourself, are you afraid of commitment like what is really going on but you should figure it out before you get married because i can tell you still love him but you hear the word marriage and it seems as thought it frightens you or something but talk to him you all are about to be married i think that you all need to talk so that you wont end up getting a divorce or hurting him or even getting hurt yourself

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Girl I am in the same predicament. I just keep him as the main and have a side guy for the passion. Will anyone ever offer us everything we want??? Probably not.