Brother Pays for wedding...then asked not to come...what do you think?

Question

Thanks everyone who answered my last question about my brother paying for his daughters wedding this told not to come. First his daughter loves her father very much..she is torn apart by this demand from her mother...she is a very sweet girl between a rock and a hard space. This woman is so ugly I could fill 500 pages of what she has done. When they divorced she falsely filed abuse charges...made the kids lie...the good news is that it all back-fired on her. The kids cracked...the judge took them in a private room (she suspect something) the kids all said that mother told them to lie to the courts...it's goes on and on. My brother feels that his children have been put through hell with this woman and doesn't want to cause any more pain in their lives. Please pray that before this wedding takes place that he will be alowed to walk his daughter down the isle and attend the wedding he has already paid for.

any advise is welcome...and I'll pass it along

any questions...I'll answer you right back

Trust me my x-sister in law would love for him not to come so she can go around and tell everyone my brother doesn't care for his own children...she is a witch like you wouldn't believe

My brother just says: Goodness and Mercy shall follow me all the days of my life!

Answer 1

I have no advise, this is a really horrible situation and your x-sister is law seems like a very evil and manipulative individual, she will get hers in the end. God will see to it. I will keep your brother in my prayers. What an unbelievable human being this mother is. She is a very warped self serving individual. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 2

Then his daughter has chosen to appease the monster that is her mother, rather than do the right thing. If she's old enough to have a $20,000 wedding, she's not a "child" to be "put through" anything, she's a grown woman who can choose her own actions.
The daughter sounds like she's learned a lot from her mother if this is how she's treating her dad. I'm blaming the daughter 100% in this situation. She's made her choice and it wasn't her dad. If she's too weak to face her mommy, call off the wedding until she grows up and acts like an adult.

Answer 3

You are right, your brother is one awesome person. He's got his heart in the right place. I know you are angry and upset, and you have every right to be, but it's your brother's decision to make how he handles this. Your brother's faith is solid, and he's obeying God's commands "to turn the other cheek."

This man loves his daughter enough not to ruin her most special and wonderful day, and I am so proud of him. It's right and it's not fair that he doesn't walk his beautiful and precious child down the aisle. The bride is the one, who needs to stand up to her Mother. She needs to tell her to back and up and tell her how things are going to be. Unfortunately that doesn't look like that is going to happen. If the daughter is letting the Mother rule the wedding, then there isn't anything anyone can do.

Your brother is handling it with love and respect. He's true Father in every sense of the word. Please, give him room. Don't let your anger and upset bring him down. Tell him you don't like what's going on, but you will respect his wishes, and that you are going to be there for him. Then drop it. Don't rub his face into the bitter situation. He's had to deal with woman for years, and unfairly he's going to have to deal with for more years to come. Unless, the daughter gets the nerve to say "Wait a minute" till then the woman holds all the keys.

Be with your brother, and if he doesn't attend the wedding. Make sure he doesn't spend it alone. Take him to a ballgame or bowling. Fishing whatever, but don't let him be alone. He's sounds like an angel, and my heart breaks for him. I will be praying that he's where he needs to be on the arm of his daughter walking down the aisle at her wedding....

God bless us all.........

ps. he's lucky to have such a caring brother!

Answer 4

Any parents who puts their child in a position like that needs some counseling, pronto. If the father has been good to the child their whole life, then by all means they should be not only invited, but guests of honor at their childs wedding! If I were her I would step up to the mother and speak my mind. If she doesnt want my father there(after he paid for the wedding especially) then she can choose not to come. No child should ever have to force their parent not to share in this special day.

Answer 5

No, it isn't rude, although they might not love the idea. Since they "sometimes" pay you, that provides an opportunity for you to reach an agreement about the scenarios in which you are willing to babysit for free (for example, if it's just one hour), and clarify when you would like to be paid. Keep in mind that they might raise their expectations if you want to move into the role of a professional. Be sure to set the rules and payment amounts BEFORE the babysitting takes place. If you were to babysit and then afterwards request to be paid, that would be a little unfair to them. If they are adamantly opposed to paying, you might consider an exchange of favors. Despite being family, you are doing them a favor by babysitting. Is there anything they could do for you in exchange that would help you out with your difficult situation?

Answer 6

Daughter tells the mother that she wants her father there, and if that means she won't attend, that is a shame, but that's her choice.

The mother does NOT have the right to demand that the bride's father be uninvited (payment for the wedding is irrelevant; the daughter wants him there).

The mother can sit home alone.

Answer 7

Man, I put up with this same crap for over 20 years and am STILL putting up with it between my feuding parents. If she really wants to put an end to this and not wind up like me 20 years later then she needs to just aggressively tell both parents that it's HER wedding and they are both invited. If they don't like the other one being there then they don't have to come. If they choose not to attend then it's their problem. My dad barely speaks to me now because I had to choose between which parent to have at my daugther's birth and since my mom was staying a week (I live out of state) to help me take care of the baby I chose her and asked my dad to come the following week so we could have a nicer visit. He refused to come and still won't talk to me hardly at all. My daughter is 1 1/2 years old now. IMMATURE!

Answer 8

Wow that is aweful, I think your brother should talk with his daughter and let her know that since she was a little girl he hoped she would find the perfect guy and he could give his daughter away. I think its important for him to walk her down and maybe when he tells her that she will realize.... jeez she should uninvite the mom.... But remember good things happen to good people, so i am sure everything will work out.

Answer 9

Frankly if the bride and groom want him to come, the person who has a problem with that can go fly a kite for all they care.

I wouldn't be inviting that lying ***** to my wedding if that were my mom (thank goodness my mom isn't like that!), and I'd gladly and proudly invite the father to the wedding.

It doesn't sound like mom is being a very good or worthy mom, with all that she did to her kids why is she invited and why are people listening to her?

Answer 10

WOW, First off his daughter who is getting married should be old and mature enough to tell her mother to shut up and invite her father. I can't believe a mother would do that to her own daughter.......
I'll have to say is KARMA

It'll bite you in the ars every time.