iam a single woman living with my boyfriend in a beautiful house with 3 kids from a previous relationship. my boyfriend and i always fight because of my kids and all the bills we must pay. he likes to throw things in my face when he does something for me or my kids. well i just recieved a letter from housing, which i have been waiting for 5 yrs and they have accepted me. i love my man, but he tells me that the projects are nasty and that he would never live there. but i feel that it would be great because i would have a 3 bedroom apartment too and only pay 200 dollars a month, i don't know what i am going to do. he said that if i move, it is over. we have been together for 5 yrs and i love him, but iam confused.
2006-12-08 06:30:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he wants to be with you and you love him then stay. But if you are unhappy you should try it. He will follow if he trully loves you or he will stop complaining about the bills if you stay with him.
2006-12-08 06:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by stunt101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds lik an ***. In relationships throwing stuff in each others faces is childish. You have to set some boundaries and rules of engagement when you are arguing. One rule should be that you discuss the topic at hand and not all the nasty stuff. Because when you get nasty with each other you are harming your kids. They hear what you two say to each other and they will pick up on it and probably start doing the same nasty behaviors. That doesn't show any respect to either of you. As for the move to a new place. Do what is best for your kids not for your boyfriend. Your kids come first. And obviously you have no problem finding a boyfriend, maybe it's time to trade him in for a nicer model. You deserve a guy who respects you and your boyfriend is showing you disrespect.
2006-12-08 06:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a MOM!!!! Do what is best for your children... Let him stay or go... He's a MAN... remember, we're the ones that eat the kids... So don't expect him to feel the way you do about them..
Actually this is very interesting:
1) You the woman actually grow a child, I mean the whole process is very real to you on a daily basis....
2) Us, the men, show up at the hospital and you have a new little person with you... That's the point in time when they truly become real to us... weird huh...
2006-12-08 06:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who love you do not keep score, which is what this man is doing when he throws things in your face about what he has done for you or your kids. People who love you don't give ultimatums about things like where you choose to live.
I think you need to gain some insight into what constitutes an abusive relationship-- it isn't always about physical abuse-- and be strong enough to do what you think is right without letting someone else manipulate you.
I think you should check out some of the things on this website:
http://drirene.com/verbalabuse.htm
http://drirene.com/abuserpages.htm
http://drirene.com/victimpages.htm
It sounds to me as if being dumped by this boyfriend could be one of the best things that could happen to you.
2006-12-08 06:37:16 · answer #4 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you aint alone anymore, you got ur kids to think about, your children need to be first at all times, what ever is best for them comes before mommy. You do what is best for you and your children, let me get the straight he probably got no kids of his own, men who dont know what it is to be a father cant help but not think about the children first. I know u love him and 5 years is alot but my mother always tells me that if a man dont love your kids (or dont do whats best for them) then they dont love you. Talk to him and let him know of your decision and show ur kids that they come first. But try to talk to housing, Not all of their homes are in projects and find if u can get a single family house. But in the mean time do what a mothe would do.
2006-12-08 07:28:28 · answer #5 · answered by chinaz777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you should move. You have been waiting for this for 5 years! If he wants to dump you because of where you live, then he is the trash! Dispose of him as so, and move on to happiness with your awesome kids. You can do it!! You will find a man down the road that doesn't make you feel like crap!!
Good luck
I will pray for your strength
2006-12-08 06:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is against you improving your lot in life the he is undeserving of your love. and loyalty.
no matter who you are with your children come first.
and after five years he has not grown to think of them as anything other then his kids and to love and care for them accordingly. you need him out of the picture so take your 3 bedroom apt. the location may not be great but at least it will be yours. and thats a great feeling to have. and the first of many steps forward to a better life for you and your kids
2006-12-08 06:45:41 · answer #7 · answered by mark_grvr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is immature and mainly interested in himself, not you, your kids or the family you are building together. Instead of being supporting he wants you to pick him or them. Leave him and go your own way.
2006-12-08 06:35:38 · answer #8 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is asking you to choose, he doesn't love you. What is best for you and your kids is to be housed and without a man being disrespectful to you. Kick him to the perverbial curb!!!!
2006-12-08 06:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a control freak. this situation can't be healthy for your kids, take the housing and if he loves you then maybe you can work it out but show him that your independant and don't need to take his crap.
2006-12-08 06:34:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋