how to get rid of deep depression?

Question

I am a single divorced lady deeply in love with a married person and having exteme feeling of guilt because of that.I am extremely depressed for not getting out of this relation,inspite of my best effort,pl help me out

Answer 1

MAKE ONE GOOD FRIEND.

Answer 2

First, please do not ignore your urge to get loved. You cannot get a solution ignoring the truth.
Second, feel happy, NOT guilty, for all the happiness you had for being close (probably sexually to some extent) to a married male.
I will try to explain, our every sense of guilt arises from all the teachings we receive since our childhood. If all that were true, you would not have ended up with this kind of distress or disappointment.
Third, I would summarize the first two points. Do not ignore your need and the good time you had satisfying your need.
Fourth, reassess the relationship. Try to guess, what is the future of this relationship?
Fifth, search for other friends. This is a difficult part as there is possibility of getting cheated. Still, pray to God so that He can give you an opportunity to make new friendship.
Sixth, I would summarize the fourth and fifth point. Look for alternatives. Not immediately, but slowly. If possible, try to come out of this relation. It is because, there is a chance that you are being cheated and also it may be that you are spoiling your partner’s wife’s life.
Lastly, take life as it comes. But, do not take the charge of it. Take it lightly, all pleasures and pains. This is an advice of one of my favorite philosophers.(You can read his book, the name of the philosopher is Eknath Easwaran. Most of his books are published from Jaico.He was a South Indian, I am a Bengali.)
But, ALWAYS, keep strong hope burning in your heart that, the future will be good and will not be able to put you down even if you are in the midst of great distress. You cannot be upset if you are not upsettable. (Take the example of Lord Buddha.
He left his kingdom just to know what can take him beyond the sorrows of life. After 6 years, he concluded that it is our desire that brings us pain. Then he preached it. It was around 500 years before the birth of Jesus Christ. We still today follow his teachings.)
Enjoy life, love yourself first. Get some heeling of the wound of your heart. Then look for alternatives if your current activities (which may be viewed as wrong) is not supported by your sense of ethics. But , do not hurry as well.
I am ending here with my love and mental support for you.
You may mail me at [e-mail] if you like. I live in Calcutta.

Answer 3

You can only do it.

1. Believe in prayers then pray.
2. Go for long or short walks, depending on time at hand. If you can find scenic or tranquil path stay on it and enjoy it.
3. Get some comedies or classical literature, read it.
4. Play some music high tempo high energy.
5. Find opportunity to put distance by moving away to good size city.
6. The depression may be or may not be due to low chemical levels of serotonin. See a doctor have the level checked and have it corrected with tablets under doctor's supervision.

When you are over this situation and are free to date again, and in mood, try this site.

http://yahoo.shaadi.com

Answer 4

Why do you want to add to your problems by getting involved with a married man? By your guilt feelings itself you are admitting that you are doing a wrong thing. Besides being depressed you are also causing depression to this man and his wife. Be good and get out of this affair. Time will heal the pain.

There are so many sites in which you can meet some nice man of your choice preferably a divorcee or a widower. Marry only after thoroughly verifying his background and after dating him several times to make sure you are not making a mistake again.

Answer 5

Write down all you are depressed about and then make a list of all the beautiful things you can think of in the world. Take each of your problems one by one and face them head on and sort them out. If you cant fix one problem then throw it away as it is a milestone round your neck. Throwing it away means to just say " oh well, it is one thing I cant cure and will have to accept it and move on" Talking a lot helps too as long as you listen to others problems also. Soon you will find that you are absorbed in helping them, that your own will slide away.

Answer 6

All that's left to do is get out of it. You need to enjoy yourself and just focus on self until the one person comes along that fits like a glove. Don't be depressed, be greatful to have me answer this for you. Let's be honest, it's wrong. What goes around comes around. Believe me, that's true. You need to be the bigger person here and tap into that strength and get busy on your life. Don't take noboby's seconds, get your own and enjoy.

Answer 7

You didn't give it your best effort if you are not out of the relationship. Think about if you were the married woman...how would you feel if the man you gave your life to cheated. And even if he leaves his wife and marries you, who's to say the same thing won't happen...

Answer 8

I suggest you to not force your heart to get over him,we are often depressed when we act against our hearts.If your heart wants to love him,then please dont stop yourself or dont ever try to avoid this feeling.Because if you do,you will hurt yourself more.Follow your heart,go where it takes you.You will get off him one day when your mind understands thoroughly that he can't be yours coz he's married to some one else.no matter how much you try to explain this to your mind,it will not get it that easily,even if you know its the core truth.As time passes,your mind will realise this truth without any pressure on it and its on that day you will be surprised that you walked past him without any consious effort.
Just be yourself.i was in similar situation in the past,and i got over my ex just like that without any effort,of course, it was a painful journey,but there's hope that you will get over him soon.
Engage yourself in activties that fascinate you,in the beginning you may feel like you are faking it,but later you will be more keen to take care of yourself and enjoy involving in things that makes you happy.
You can also give meditation a try,its truely worth a try.You can gain peace and get rid of all your guilt.Good luck!

Answer 9

Hi, Pinku. First of all you get out of his extra marital bond. You are made just a pawn in his game of sex because you are living without a male companion. Your being alone is being exploited. Sooner you leave him, better for your future. Determine to tell him so. It is you who has to decide for the good of your future, not our advices. Think well and better safeguard yourself. Good luck!

Answer 10

You didn't mention whether that person is in love with you or not.If not then no point in wasting your time to follow with him.The only solution is to start hating him. Slap him one day then after math of this incident will definitely make u to hate him. after that go long for few weeks to come out of that situation. thts all.

Answer 11

if the guy is givin u crap about trying to leave do not listen to him
u should get out of that relationship and go to God in deep prayer b4 anything. u may want to try a Bible study