I've been out of my relationship for almost five months, but I'm so scared of getting hurt again by guys. I'm pretty old I'm 26 I thought it would easier with men, but I'm losing hope. I just get hurt over and over again. Help some advice please. Thank you
2006-12-08 06:00:35 · 23 answers · asked by Crazy Heart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You really don't learn how to up your trust.. you just learn how to be smarter about tap dancing around their emotions to get the upper hand.
Its all learning process..What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Hang in there! Your 26..just think how I feel..I am 34 and in the same row boat! It doesn't get easier to paddle..you just get more clever about how to paddle more effeciant
2006-12-08 06:03:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel, I am the same way I don't trust anyone and it is hard to start a relationship with someone and continue that relationship without trust. However, from experience if you continue to do that your relationships will always fail because trust is part of a relationship. Being cautious is great you should always be that way. My advise to you with this person is start out fresh, try to get the not trusting out of your head. Its a new man, new day, and new relationship after that then live day by day with him, don't think about the past, don't focus on the future just enjoy every minute that you spend with him on a day to day basis. It also wouldn't hurt to let him know about how you had been hurt so you don't trust. My current boyfriend knows that about me and so when I start accusing which I do a lot he reminds me that he isn't here to hurt me and that he loves me very much. He has put up with a lot of accusations and is still with me, sometimes I wonder why. But I also know in my heart that I will eventually have to just TRUST, what doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. Another thing be very confident in yourself and realize that there is someone out there for you that will be the "ONE" sometimes you have to open and few bad doors until you get to the right one. It will happen though, have faith in yourself and if you pray and believe in god he will help. If you don't I apologize. If all else fails find a good girlfriend to confide in, maybe she can help. I wish you the best of luck and just know you are not the only one out there with this problem.
2016-05-23 07:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,there is no perfect relationship.. there are always problems and emotional pain.
I have been married for 3 years now, and I can tell you that Honeymoon lasts only for 1 year, then all kind of problems will eventually come up , it is normal.. everyday life envovles problems , both material and emotional.
Only Love is not enougph, only sex is not enoughph either.. both of you have to be ready for a relatonship and both of partners should think about concequences and possibilities. Moreover, the longer you are in relationship, the more it hurts you when you figure out it won't work anymore.. Maybe, you are choosing wrong guys? sometimes it not just about great smile and muscles...
2006-12-08 06:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are likely gettting hurt over and over because of one of two reasons:
1. You keep picking the same kind of jerk
2. You are doing something that drives them away
If, for instance, you had some horrible possessiveness that only became obvious after a few months, guys would date you and then suddenly start making themselves distant, making you pull harder, and eventually they HAVE to hurt you to get away, even if they like you in every other way.
If you keep meeting guys the same way, falling for the same kinds, the same lines, in the same places, it really shouldn't surprise you that you keep finding the same jerks.
Understand this: exciting guys are not good. We dull guys make good husbands and fathers - the thrilling guys are only out for themselves and they will let you down eventually.
There are exceptions, of course, but not many. Don't say no to nice guys. Better yet, FIND a nice guy and pursue him. Most nice guys are also shy. Arrogant jerks are the ones who ask you out.
2006-12-08 06:05:52 · answer #4 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You either have to take the chance or you won't be able to ever trust men again. Not all men are the same, there are some nice ones believe it or not. You just have to learn not to trust people too quickly and not to never trust them. So basically, u either feel comfortable w/ them or u don't.
2006-12-08 06:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by kms010494 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not old, and it takes time to heal wounds. Don't rush into any relationship. In your case, it's good to make friends, then decide what type of man you want, and if you can trust him. If anyone reminds you of a past relationship, don't go that route either. You'll find what you've been looking for eventually!
Krazy Libra
2006-12-08 06:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep trying. there actually are some good men out there that are trustworthy, honest, and wont hurt you. you just have to find the good ones and make sure you hold on to them. try to find a couple of dates and see how things go. if you like the guy and he seems like a decent guy than stick with him. there is always a perfect match for everyone. it just takes time (and some trial and error) before you find your perfect match. i hope you have good luck with this in the future. it takes time to build trust. always remember that
2006-12-08 06:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by Crazy ace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think its human nature to want to find good in people so don't beat your self up second the answer may be inside of you sit down and think aww heck make a list what the guys you have dated have in common are you lonesome and when they say hello you jump third make people earn your trust don't just give it freely and if 26 is pretty old what is 45 lol
2006-12-08 06:06:56 · answer #8 · answered by theessenceofrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should quit finding them in the places you are frequenting. Try more wholesome places, church book stores attend night time college classes. Get out there and do something completely out of the ordinary for you. Don't lose hope, keep your chin up.
2006-12-08 06:05:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't blame every guy out there for bad past experiences. Stop judging everyone over what someone else did to you and it should be easier.
2006-12-08 06:03:02 · answer #10 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋