My brother was married for 15 years. He's just the greatest guy on the planet, very humble quite spoken man (a Christan man too). Well his little wifey got like'n the guy next door and had an affair and left my brother for him. My brother had to pay her $1500 per Month because she wanted another man. Well they divorced 2 years after (how shocking) now she's remarried. The oldest daughter is getting married and ask my brother to pay for the wedding $12,000 and the honey-moon $4500. He said sure and paid for everything..NOW the X-wife doesn't want him to walk her down the isle she want her new husband (of one year)to do it and got his daughter to call my brother and tell him that he is not invited because it will make mommy dearest and new husband will ackward.
MY BROTHER said okay...because his daughter asked him too...he said he wants what his daughter has asked for...he's not upset or mad...BUT I want to SCREAM...I am outraged!!
Am I wrong here...tell me, I'm going crazy!
2006-12-08 05:55:16 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He has ALREADY paid for EVERYTHING 100%
2006-12-08 06:09:04 · update #1
effing gold diggers!
That is just sad.. I think he should not pay and let the hubby to be fork out the money/.
2006-12-08 05:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by ◄☯♫ vanitee of vanitees ♫☯► 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely feel the same. But he is the father and that's what his daughter requested. He probably is devastated, but he's just not showing because he knows that you do not agree. He is a great man, he cares not only for his daughter but for your feeling too. So just quit bringging it up on him, you are just probably breaking his heart more.
On the other side, if you have the courage, why dont you talk to your niece without the mom knowing and ask her if that is what she really wants. Dont ask her if her mom has something to do with it because it might just create conflict between the two of you. Just tell her how you will feel if she is your daughter because you want to be the proud father giving her away to her true love. But if she said that it is her choice, then your case is close. If not, then you found a way to start the deal. Goodluck!
2006-12-08 06:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by Just curious? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well technically theres nothing that you can do since its not you its happening to but really this falls down to the daughter not having enough backbone to stand up to mommy. That is a little girl, not a woman who should be getting married and starting a family. She should stay home and live with mommy forever and your brother should take back the money he forked over for this sham of a wedding. Good luck!
Just because he paid already doesn't mean he can't cancel stuff. He might not get all his money back, but his daughter doesn't have to have her little flowers and dress and veil either.
2006-12-08 05:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Princess~C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! That woman is a POS! I can't believe she would have the nerve to do something like that. She sounds like a money hungry pig.
As for your brother, he seems like such a sweetheart and just wants to make everyone happy. That just can't happen. HOWEVER, that is his daughter and he should be there for her day. I am sure the ex is telling everyone that he doesn't want anything to do with his own daughter's wedding. Shame on his daughter for calling him and asking him not to come. What kind of people are they?
I don't think you are crazy at all. I do believe in karma and what comes around goes around. I hope your brother realizes that this behavior is completely nuts!
2006-12-08 06:05:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tabitha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your certainly not going crazy. It's a shame that your niece has bought into what her mother wants and didn't stand up for her rights at HER wedding. It is most certainly her father's right to attend his daughter's wedding, whether he is paying the freight or not. If you are still in contact with your niece then perhaps you can have a talk with her and inform her of how selfish and unreasonable she is being. Best of luck and I do hope that she reconsiders and your brother gets to not only watch his little girl get married but also give her away.
2006-12-08 06:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 100% NOT wrong!! Almost the same exact thing happened to my loving husband only two months ago, and trust me, it's only going to get worse. After divorcing his very abusive wife, my husband has been totally ignored by his sons (unless of course, they want money). When his youngest got married two months ago, not only was he barely invited to the wedding, but he was officially uninvited to the reception afterward. He went to the wedding, but sat in the back, and only gave the bride and groom a gift, refusing to pay for anything else (to their credit, they didn't ask).
It gets better (and make sure your brother realizes this wedding is a sign of things to come).....this same sons new wife is now pregnant and my loving husband has been informed that he won't be a grandfather. All of this because he decided to leave his very controlling, abusive wife. (of course, we suspect she's behind all of this).
2006-12-08 06:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow- he's payint the for wedding? the thing is that the wedding is not fo rthe ex wife it's for the dauther and you're taking it like the ex wife is asking for money for herself but it's not for her it's for the wedding. If the bride wants to walk down the isl with her real father that's her choice SHE"S the one getting married no the mom. If the mom doesn't want your bro in the wedding she's gonna have to suck it up because no matter what he's still the father of her kids/ You;re not overreactiong about this but- it is a little insane that the wife left him for the guy next door.
2006-12-08 06:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You aren't wrong but it is up to the father. He has to be the one to make a stand. Maybe being a push-over caused trouble in the marriage to begin with? I'm not trying to be mean but I feel a man needs to take a stand for what he believes in and NOTHING would stop me from sharing such a joyous day with my daughter. It seems the daughter has taken after the mother in being rude but also the daughter has taken after the dad in that the mother probably talked her into asking her dad not to come. I'd tell him that he's going to have to grow a backbone. It's sweet of you to be upset but in the end, it is up to him to choose whether to be walked on or not.
2006-12-08 06:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by danceteacher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your brother got screwed. But, it's your brother's situation.
I would let it go. It's his issue, and he's dealing with it in his way. Be there for him, but don't make a big deal about it.
Now, on the other hand, you may have ill feelings toward your neice - she should be able to see that what she is doing is wrong. It's going to haunt her for the rest of her life that her daddy wasn't there to walk her down the aisle - I guarantee that.
I think that is a terrible, sad situation - but your brother is resigned to the fact - it's his daughter that is going to regret this.
What you need to do is get over your anger - it's not helping the situation, it's not helping anyone, and if anything, it's going to add more stress to your life.
Good luck!
2006-12-08 05:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by gatesfam@swbell.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im not a spiteful person but this is exactly the kind of *hit that makes me happy to be so clever and dropping the hammer on folks. First of all - your brother is a good man who clearly only wants to make his daughter happy - but what daughter would do that to her dad?! I advise you to have him talk to her seriously and get the final word from her. If she really feels that way, have him cancel every check and repudiate any contract he may have signed with any of the service providers. IF they threaten to sue, tell them he will return their call with an address from his attorney they can send their "complaint" to - (and then he should get an attorney to receive these complaints and then settle them a year from now for a fraction of what he would have owed them - besides, "new dad" is going to have to "cover" you if his "new sweet daughter" is going to walk down the aisle at all.) Good luck, get even!
2006-12-08 06:01:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds really sad. I don't know how daughter can face herself, asking daddy to pony up $12K for the wedding and then disinviting him. Seems to me that if she had the character God gave a gnat, she should either give daddy back his money or call the momster and tell her that momster can pitch a fit if she wants to, but dad is going to be there. And if momster pulls out a threat of "If he [dad] comes, I won't be there," the only correct response is, "I'm sorry, we'll miss you."
It's sad, but it isn't your problem, so I would say to you that your best option is probably to be politely noncommital to all involved, attend the wedding and try to be a peacemaker, and provide moral support to your brother as best you can.
2006-12-08 06:04:01 · answer #11 · answered by Karin C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋