My best friend called me an hour ago and cried telling me she had cheated on her husband while he was working in england. She found out that she's pregnant and that the baby is not his and that she cannot lie about it because she cheated with an asian guy. Would it be wrong for her to get an abortion? Should she have the child and tell her husband or to have an abortion and keep it a secret? She told me that she doesnt want to be a killer and wants to keep the baby... what would you do? She's 27 by the way.
2006-12-08 05:08:55 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If her husband doesnt accept this child then It will be a lot harder on her financially to support the child.
2006-12-08 05:12:19 · update #1
Be an encouraging friend during this traumatic time. If she chooses to go on with the pregnancy then its in both her and her baby's interest to nurture in a stress-free environment. That's where you come in. Just be there if she needs anything.
2006-12-08 05:10:50 · answer #1 · answered by Gary 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This woman is just adding problem after problem.
If she was stupid enough to cheat she could have at least used birth control. She minus well tell the husband because he is going to find out sooner or later. Abortions some times go wrong (as all surgeries do), so do she want to risk never having a baby because she got pregnant by the wrong man this time. What is the baby's father (Asian guy) going to do ... will he keep it a secret or help raise the child? Also is her husband going raise the child of another man who his wife cheated with (I wouldn't)?
Your friend as a lot of soul searching to do and there are no easy answers. I hope she can support herself and the baby, because she may end up alone. Without the husband or the other man who got her pregnant.
P.S; I'm not against abortion, but it shouldn't be used as a form of Birth Control. If there is Health problems or a medical reasons I'm all for it. However, abortion shouldn't be used because the man didn't wear a condom or the woman didn't take the pill. If she get horny while the husband is away, that's what Vibrators are for.
2006-12-08 05:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a similar situation before. I was unmarried and very afraid. The father was not around much and did not financially support me either. I thought if I got rid of it than I would not have to worry about him or supporting this child. Today, my daughter is 3 years old and I cannot image my life without her. I think things happen for a reason that sometimes we don't understand. This child could be someone great. I think she should do what she think is best for her and her marriage. I by no means would blame her for taking her baby life. But just remember she will more that likely deal with this the rest of her life.
2006-12-08 05:20:56 · answer #3 · answered by Hollywood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were to have the abortion it should be done in secret. It would be a most terrible secret and would very likely be revealed in a very inappropriate time. I only say that because of "Murphy's Law."
The problem really must be the relationship with her and her husband. This is a more important at it is the underlining theme for her life. She needs to reevaluate her marriage and needs to do it really fast. It wont be long before the pregnancy is discovered by the husband and all would have to come out anyway.
2006-12-08 05:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by khanofali 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for your friend. In the long run the regret of having an abortion will be worse than not having one. It seems like the easy way out but you really can't undo something like that.
Her marriage is in jeopardy either way. One, she could have the abortion and live with the knowledge of deceiving her husband for the rest of her life. It's hard to build a relationship on that.
Two, she could tell her husband. He won't be happy, but may forgive her. She may lose him, but then again, he probably loves her (he did marry her!) and may want to work things out. Once everything is out in the open it is easier to build a relationship from there.
They may also want to get counciling at some point. I am a pastor and would be willing to try to find descent counciling in the area. Also will pray for your friend. wibberelvin@yahoo.com if you need help.
2006-12-08 05:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lonnie W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong to get a abortion I don't believe in abortions. She needs to tell her husband about it so they can work it out or something. Keeping it a secret would be wrong because if she does have a abortion she might not be able to have kids when she's ready.
2006-12-08 05:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by pinkylee98 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well she did cheat, and should however pay the consequences. Although, I do feel that in her situation, if she does have the baby, she will most likely be raising it by herself... and that isnt so good for the baby.
I think she needs to do what is best for her and the baby. I think that if she does have an abortion, then she will save her marriage, but also she might have repercussions and feel guilty or have other problems because of it.
Its up to her, what is best for her and the baby.
2006-12-08 05:12:14 · answer #7 · answered by designerista 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I personally believe that every woman has her own choice. I do not believe abortion is wrong and the choice is personal... to each their own. If she believes she is going to be "killing" this child, then she shouldn't do... its something she is going to have to live with for the rest of her life... but just as much not having an abortion... she will have to live with the fact she cheated and this child is not her husbands... this is a choice she is going to have to make based on her own beliefs :)
2006-12-08 05:25:13 · answer #8 · answered by BrookieB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off smooth move dip shlt!! your friend that is the abortion is one thing but either way she needs to tell him it only right. as for the abortion my wife will kill her and i agree. Abortion should not be used as birth control or to cover up cheating on your spouse.
if a girl gets rapped and gets pregnant then abortion is ok, or in my wifes case the baby died 3 months in it would have been ok and she still wouldn't do it rather she delivered(induced) her dead child.
i can't believe she is even thinking of hiding this by abortion, sorry i am disgusted
2006-12-08 05:14:54 · answer #9 · answered by Acee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is a personal choice.
1) She should not have cheated.
2) If she is against abortion and wants to keep it, she should tell her husband that she cheated and is pregnant (as he'll eventually find out when the kid is born) and see what happens. Worst case scenario, he leaves her and she has the kid.
2006-12-08 05:12:47 · answer #10 · answered by kwightman69 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would step up and take responsibility for the cheating, let the husband know and have the child.
its not the child's fault shes a whore.
Im not against abortion, i just think in this case its a stupid childish way to run from the problem.
Whos to say it wont happen again?
2006-12-08 05:11:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋