Ok 2 years ago I was preganat then, babys daddy joined the army and said he was not ready for my child(he had another boy). Few months later I receive aletter saying that he dont have to gime anything for the kid, because hes not born(mind i asked for some help with the nursery)Well, the letter was hurful and did not had a reply address. Later I found out his address, I wrote him a letter and send him a picture of the child.(no reply address either) His sister called me and his stepmother too, saying not to write him againg and that he did not want anything to do with us. Has been over 2 years now and We meet on myspace.com a few days ago, and he wants to see the kid. I got married and everything and my hubby wants to adopt my son. I told him it was ok for him to be part of his life, But today he dont want to no more.. He dont pay child support either. So what that hack it is going on?
2006-12-08 04:59:21 · 19 answers · asked by u_better_remember_me 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Under normal circumstances you can take him to court to have this all taken care of. If you still have it I would present the letter that he sent to you to show his disassociation with the child from the start. MOST courts that have an absentee parent come back into the picture will require first a blood test done to prove paternity and then will request back payment of child support. And you can ask for supervised visits if he is awarded visitation rights. If you bring up child support and he's unwilling to help you then perhaps you can use that back log of money as a bargaining chip...say Well if you want to avoid having to pay all of that money and any money going forward till our child is 18 years of age you will sign over any parental rights you might have...this will free it up so that your husband can adopt your child then legally without any restrictions. Good luck
2006-12-08 05:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by ncgville 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen children deserve to know the truth. If your new hubbie is good to your son then let him adopt him. This is not about money, you don't want your son to grow up and resent you for not letting him know his father. Trust me once you say it is ok for the daddy to be a part of the kid's life, the kid will soon learn what an a hole his real father is. Tell your new hubbie not to be threatened, just keep being a good man to your son
2006-12-08 13:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by Kia V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child will be better off in the long run if your husband adopts him. The so called father has made it pretty clear that he's not interested. BUT if your husband doesn't adopt him then get a lawyer and make him pay child support. Who cares what his mother or sister says,their only looking out for him. What kind of grandmother isn't interested in their grandchild? Sounds like he's alot like his mother to me.
2006-12-08 15:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by LL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the father's name is not on the birth certificate than he DOES have to pay child support. If it is not than there shouldn't be a problem with adoption unless the father is stubborn enough to force a paternity test. The father is probably upset cuz you're married and happy & he wants to make you unhappy. He doesn't want to see another man raising his child even though he wasn't responsible enough to step up
2006-12-08 16:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Angelina P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to get him to terminate his rights. If he won't and doens't pay child support or anything, you may can get a lawyer and force him to since he isn't helping. If he wants to be a part of the child's life, he has to be consistent in doing so. My dad did this and signed his rights away, then came to meet me when I was 7. He was so off and on. He would say he'd come get me for a few day during the summer and he never would. I would be so disappointed. I spent most of my life in disappointment which has caused me some bumps along the way. Make sure he knows if he wants to be part of his life, he needs to do it 100%.
2006-12-08 13:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you never claimed him as the father on the birth cerficate, then all is fine have your hubby adopt him and live on as a family. But if the daddy keeps trying to pop in and out let him know he can not do that, he is either there fully or not at all.
2006-12-08 13:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably doesn't want to compete with your husband. My son's dad ran off when I got married, too. After 3 or 4 years he came back and wanted to act like he'd been there all along. So now he visits once a month and pays me half of his ordered child support.
2006-12-08 13:03:13 · answer #7 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK you have 2 options here; take your baby's daddy to court and sue for child support or write your baby's daddy out of your life and your child's and have your husband adopt. If your husband adopts that makes him legal guardian and financially responsible for your child. Your baby's daddy will have no rights to the child, but you might have to get the baby's daddy's consent to let your husband adopt.
2006-12-08 13:50:55 · answer #8 · answered by puggas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is messing with your head. You should do what you feel is best for your son. If you are happily married and the birth father has not had a thing to do with your son until he realized you're married and doing good for yourself I'd think twice before allowing him to have anyhting to do with him. You maybe could let him see a picture or something but be very cautious. He didn't want anything to do with your son until he realized you were happy without him. Sounds like he is a real jerk to me.
2006-12-08 13:03:45 · answer #9 · answered by mandyfaithful 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like a loser with a major problem! I would find an attorney to serve him with court documents requesting child support. If the dad wants to see the child, then he certainly shouldn't mind contributing to his well-being. If he refuses to pay child support, then it shouldn't be a problem to get him to relinquish parental rights so that your new hubby can proceed with adoption.
2006-12-08 13:03:13 · answer #10 · answered by ncmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋