Would you up and move? ??

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for only 4 months~ but he is the man of my dreams. We have know each other for over 5 years. WE just lost touch for a few years, then he found me on myspace and we have been together ever since. We live about 2hrs 15 mins apart from each other. I have a child (15 months). My boyfriend is great with my son. And vice versa. My boyfriend has been looking for a new and better job, and he may have one about 5 hrs away from us... He asked what I would do if he took it. I was not sure. I have all my family, a great job, and my son's father all here where i live now. It would be a huge risk for me to move. My family help sme out so much with my son. And he sees his father every other weekend..... But I love do him and i think that we really have a future together. What would you do?

Answer 1

I would give it some more time before I just got up and moved. What if you got there and things didn't work out? You'd be without a job! Why don't you just leave things like they are right now and in a year if you are still together you can make plans, like getting a new job etc.

Answer 2

I wouldn't up and move right away following this person. You've admitted that you've only been dating him for 4 months. That's not really not long enough to make such a life changing decision. Yes, you've known him for 5 years but he's not been your man for that long.

You have to look at the big picture here and who's involved. You're son is going to be taken away from his family that he sees almost on the regular. You're now going to have your child's father more than likely not being able to see your son on some weekends that he should be. You're having help from your family which you obviously need or you wouldn't be getting it or taking it. You're going to give up your job that you say is great for another job that may not be so lovely.

You need to let him move if that's what he's going to do. You need to go visit him as often as you can to see if this relationship is going to work. If your relationship with the man of your dreams is going to work out then it will be there no matter what the distance is between you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. In the meantime that gives you time to find a job where he is if you decide that you will move. Don't jump so quickly into taking such a huge risk for something that you can't honestly say will be there in the end. Think of what you will be giving up and who will be affected by your risk taking. If he loves you he will and should understand. Just explain it to him and if he gets upset then you already know your dream man isn't such a dream.

Answer 3

I am in a LDR right now, and I have a child also. I am soon planning on moving to where he is (about 4 hrs away from me), her father is here, who she sees 3 times a week and some of her other family is here as well, but on the other hand, even though I know it will be hard to travel back and forth for her to see her dad, I love this man and I to have a right to be happy. Dont get me wrong, I will do all I can to make sure that my daughter and her father still get to spend time together and I have waited over a year to make sure I am making the right move before I just up and go, but I am going to do it.

I think that there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you have thought about all the things in your life that will change, make sure that the situation will be good for you child and have some kind of plan on what you are going to do about working, and all the situations that are involved.

It could work, it is just something you have to take step by step.

Good luck.

Answer 4

My opinion on the situation is that if I were you i would make the comute until he is stable and you can afford to do the move. I have a son and him and my ex live in the same townl. it would be really hard on me if they move, and the same on them, but if it is meant to be then it will be just give it time a relationship has to go through hard times before it gets better. you will find out for sure in everything will be great in the future when you are not able to see each other all the time. but as your son is concerned you would have to fun and pay out for day care all the time meet half way for visits with his father and family. and as far as financial, it will be hard because you would have to find a job and you boyfriend has one but getting a place and everything like that

Answer 5

The family and support you have is very good and it has real value.Jobs come and go .....familys are more important ...tell your boyfriend look around here or create the job,pray,look harder,be smart do the math in favor for staying here vs. moving there.there is an intrinsic value here.Alot of household are run by the man and alot are not.I think maybe you should ask you boyfriend what his intentions are and how he plans on haveing a relationship with you 5 hours away,is he selfish listen for his answer. Good luck.

Answer 6

five hours is no big deal!!! So if he takes the job you should stay where you are for a few months and if the relationship continues to develop then you could both consider moving to a half way point!! I travel 2 hours to and from work every day (I live in a small town where I have a ranch and work on the other side of Phoenix)!!

Answer 7

I think what you have for this man is more like "romantic fantasy" than actual love. You have only re-connected with this "Old Flame" 4 months ago. But nowhere in your question did you say one word about him having said that he "loves" YOU or has expressed his desire to make a life with you.
Just look at all the things you have mentioned that you have going for you right now; Now look at what you are thinking of doing, and what awaits you. This "man of your dreams" has not suggested any desire to fully commit (as in marriage) to you. Nor has he, apparantly, shown the wisdom, intelligence, and concern for your well being, to level with you on this issue. Also, this is not just you making a decision for yourself alone, but for the welfare of your child. You knew this man in the past, but in a piddling four months, how can you possibly be sure that you know him NOW? The way you are "gushing" about him does suggest that you really are more in a romantic daze, than thinking calmly and logically about what you are talking of doing.. Uprooting yourself from several very valuable, important, secure links and heading off into the unknown to be with a man who has not offered you any such security, and certainly has no obligation to you if it doesn't work out.
The only thing you really have to say about this guy is that he "gets on great with your five-year old" Dang, I can act like I'm having fun with a five-year old when I go visit my friend, and in fact, I do. But dooooon't be asking me to take responsibility for him for a week, or a month.
If this is any kind of a real man, my dear, this guy will lay out his intentions straight and plain - and if he is in any way the kind of man you SHOULD be looking to make a life with, he will strongly discourage you from making any such rash and uncertain moves, at least until the two of your can reconnect with each other, physically, practically, and emotionally a LOT more than you could ever accomplish in a brief few weeks of reacquaintance.

Answer 8

Well... sounds like you may have a problem. If you still get help from your child's father then I wouldn't move to far so he can't see his kid but do what you think would be best for you and your kid and your relationship. If you think it would be best to move with your boyfriend then you have to keep in mind you may not have all the help with your parents and child's father as you do now because you would be father and it would be harder for htme to help... and you don't want to just up and leave and take your child from your parents and the father because they also have relation with the child... not just you. uummm, and another thing would be your age... if you are still a teenager then you definetly don't want to just up and move because you amy not be able to be very fit and may not have as much help and you also have to think if your boyfriend can support you and your child... so yeahh thats what I think.

Answer 9

See if your boyfriend now can look for a great local job. It is a HUGE risk factor in just up and moving 5 hours away with your whole like where your at now. Personally, I wouldn't move. I would just see how my boyfriend could take a little challenge himself in staying with me.
Goodluck hun!

Answer 10

have a long distance relationship at the moment and when things get to that point that u r ready to commit then u need to decide
in matter both of u guys need to compromise

and by the way i feel that u r not ready cuz if u were
u would have not second guess it

one reason cuz ur mom helps out
thats a convenience which u r settling for