Single mom needs help with disapplining my child!!!?

Question

I have a three year old daughter and it seems that everyday she gets worse. I have tried timeout, spanking and all kinds of other thiings. Does anyone have any suggestions? it doesnt help that i also live with someone that is handicapt. Everything i do seems to not work. If you know anythiing that might help, please email me.

Answer 1

i would say that its just because she is three. they all do that at this age. what we do with my three year old boy is to pull the big boy card. if he does not behave we tell him he is acting like a baby. if telling him that does not work we start to take away all his big boy toys. his v-smile or spider man bike. things like that. it works and we give the things back to him once he starts to act like a big boy and behave.

Answer 2

I know it's hard being a single mom, I've been there. Maybe she is just acting out because it's a sure fire way to get your attention. Sometimes kids would rather get bad attention than no attention at all. I'm not saying you are neglecting her, but with working and dealing with the handicap person, she may be feeling like she has to fight for your time and attention. Spend as much alone time as possible with her and give her positive, and encouraging compliments when she is behaving.
When she's being bad, Just give her a dirty look and ignore her (assuming she's not in danger of hurting herself or someone else). This will teach her that acting out isn't going to get her anywhere. This is where timeouts are good. But they wont work unless you stick to your guns. Warn her that if she keeps it up she will get a timeout, Don't talk to her when shes in a time out, and don't let her out until she says she's sorry for whatever it is she did (ask her if she's sorry after 3-4 minutes).

Don't spank! It just teaches her that it's okay to hit if someone is upsetting you.

Good luck, this is a tough age

Answer 3

Is there anything that she gets on a regular basis that you could take away? Happy Meals, ice cream, soda, candy, or anything that she loves would work. I would suggest telling your daughter what your expectations are in her terms and tell her that she can mind you or you will take away ____________. Then, when she breaks the rules, stick to your guns!! Taking away what she likes will make her realize what she can and can't do. She may only be three, but I can assure you that she is smart enough to know that at this point she has no boundaries and she will continue to see how far she can push you.

By the way, I experienced this with my daughter. The whole spanking think never worked. It only made her fight me even more! Eventually I realized that perhaps her actions were a cry out for love and affection. When your daughter gets unruly, take a moment to focus on HER!! Love her, cuddle her, tell her a story, read a book, play with her dolls, or anything else that she enjoys to do. A little mommy time will go a long way in developing your relationship!!

Answer 4

I don't know all of the particulars, so take this answer for whatever it is worth. Your daughter may be looking for a level of attention that you haven't been able to give her, because you are also caring for a special needs person. You may need to look for more ways to intentionally express love and spend some quality and quantity time with your daughter. Sometimes in the busyness of all the good things we are doing, we miss out on some really important things. Do some honest analysis and see if you are really communicating love to your daughter, in a way she can understand it. Also, she is undoubtedly pushing the boundaries to see what she can and can't get away with. You will have to be kind, but consistent in discipline when she acts out inappropriately. Hope that info is of some value. Keep up the good work of caring for others.

Answer 5

Disciplining a child is not easy. But, if you stand firm with your decision, such as timeouts and other subtle punishments, it should eventually work. Spanking may or may not help. Try to avoid it, anyway. When your child does something wrong, make sure that corrective actions are immediately done. When she does something good, on the other hand, praises or small rewards should be given to encourage good behavior. I hope this helps.

Answer 6

u said that u live with a handicapped person, so is your daughter getting enough of mom's attention? my daughter (2) gets upset when I'm busy and she wants some loves & attention. some kids will choose negative attention over none. if that's not it, find out what makes her tick. mine actually likes timeout, spanking & telling her "no" seem to have zero effect. I have no idea why, but she's always better after. That, and she doesn't like it when I tell her mommy will leave. I know it's horrid, but when I tell her mommy is leaving if she doesn't stop throwing a fit, she instantly changes tunes. good luck.

Answer 7

The key is to keep at it. If you give her a time out and she doesn't stay put keep putting her back where she should be. She's testing her boundaries and you have to show her that you are in charge. Don't get mad when she throws a tantrum just remain calm and take her to a time out area and tell her why she is getting a time out. The more you do it the more she will see there are consequences to bad behavior and no exceptions. So keep at it even if it seems like its not helping at the time. If you give up she wins and will only push you further next time.

Answer 8

This for me has worked pretty well, I too am mainly a single mom. I have a fiance but he is not her Dad so sometimes he has a hard time with discipline. Anyway try this: Give her three really good warnings that if she does not change her behavior she will get toys and movies taken away. Explain to her after you take them what she has to do to earn them back. My daughter currently has about 10 toys in her room and has earned three back. She will not want to have bad behavior in fear of losing anymore toys.

Answer 9

Are some of these people on GLUE?! Why when a child acts up..they all point to ADHD or ADD?! It's simple...she's doing it for attention...She's acting out because there is someone in the house with a handicap...who needs more attention..and she senses it!!! I'm SOOO sick of people(NOT YELLING AT YOU BY THE WAY!) always resorting to ADHD OR ADD~~ MAKES ME SICK..can't a child just be acting up because they want to ...not because of an illness?! She's 3 yrs old...my son who is almost 3 will stand in his room, when he doesn't get his way, and say out loud..."I'm making a BIG mess in my room...WATCH ME make a big mess in my room..(a HUGE box of matchbox cars dumping on the clean floor!).I MADE A BIG MESS MOMMY!!! COME SEE MY MESS!!!" It's all attention...or wanting it..and you most likely are giving her plenty..but she's at that age..when she's testing her boundries! Seeing just what mom will let slide and what you won't.... Just hug her!! She's only gonna be little for a short time..and then she'll be a teenager...TRUST me they are worse!!

Answer 10

Pick something and stick with it. You cant punish her with a spanking for throwing a fit one day, and then try time out or talking to her the next day. It doestn work like that. She'll keep acting out to see what you're new reaction will be this time.

Either stick with time our, to stick with a swat on the butt for everything.

She's 3, which means she lives in the moment. Punishment needs to be instantanious. Not after you'd talked, and begged, and reminded, and pleaded and counted to three. She chooses to defy you, or to act wrong, she gets punished while in the act. Not after.

You also need to be talking to her constantly. Remind her of what good behavior looks like, and how shameful poor behavior looks. Praise her for being glad she's such a well behaved child, and not a brat like some other children. Always talking to her.

When you go out and you're shopping. Point out good behavior in the store. "Look at that boy, he's standing very nicely next to him mom, what a good boy. His mommy is proud of him. Iam so glad that you know how to be just as well behaved" point out back behavior "oh look, that little girl is throwing a fit! How sad! she doesnt know that she has to use words and not crying to tell her mommy what she wants. Look how silly she looks! Iam so glad you know how to use words and not throw a fit."

Thats the sort of thing that should be coming from your mouth all the time. It shows her how to reconize behaviors, and how to compare herself to her peers, and it also builds her confidence to know that you expect that she can and would act properly.

There are some points in the day when a toddler, and even a school aged child, simply cannot be reasoned with. Anytime theyre past hungry for a meal, or when theyre beyond tired from lack of a nap or from a late bed time. They will pull out every tactic in the book, and be totally horrible, but you cannot expect them to be rational in this state. Simply abort your mission, (if you're out, go home, if you're shopping leave the cart and come back tomorrow) and go home for a nap.

If she is not tired, and you know she's only being difficult, and you're out in public, stop everything. You can do time out in the car. Dont put it off just because you have a cart full of frozen goods. Leave your cart and remove her from the situation. Put her in time out, and come back later.

Consistancy. Its insanely important. So is your confidence as a mother, and her confidence as an obedient child. Neither of you can gain those things uless you're consistant in your punishment and your expectations from her.

Answer 11

I totally sympathize with u. Try the following :
1) When she does sth wrong, tell her wat she did is wrong & why. Then u also tell her that you will count to three & she has to stop crying or else her fav toy goes down the rubbish chute or disappear.
2) For the 1st time, really make it happen & throw away her fav toy. Make sure that she sees that u hv thrown it away. Then leave her to cry or sulk in her room. It is always painful the first time. DO NOT GIVE WAY! or they will know. They are very smart! (try throwing something that u can buy back later though...just to reward her...)
3) I bet you the time for you to count will get shorter & shorter.
It works beautifully for my 2 sons! Who should be more rowdy then girls!
Good luck!