Christmas question about step son?

Question

This is the first year with my new husband and stepson. I have a son who is 8 (stepson is 6) I have bought both boys lots of presents but I did get a little more for my son. My stepson will have 2 Christmas's one with his Mom and one with us which means double the presents. My son will only have one with us. Do you think that I need to get both boys the same amount or is it fair that my son will have a little more under our tree.

By the way, we will not be getting my husbands son until the weekend after Christmas so they will not be opening up presents together.

Answer 1

It totally doesnt matter, especially since the step son is getting double presents, your son would feel totally jipped...take care of your own blood first!

Answer 2

I think that is fine. If they were opening the presents together, then I would say get the same number, but you are right, your stepson is getting presents at his mom's house too. But in the interest of family harmony, you should find out what your husband thinks. It's your stepson, but it is his son and I'm sure he loves his first son just as much as he loves his second son. You don't want your husband to think that you are slighting his other son. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Answer 3

I dont think your 8 year old or your 6 year old will be paying much attention to a difference of 2 Christmas presents.
AND by the weekend after Christmas, your son will not remember how many Christmas presents he actually recieved, so the 6 year old will not know any different.
I would concider holding one of your sons Christmas presents out or getting him another ( it doesnt have to be big) so that he has something to open when the 6 year old is opening his... thats up to you just depends on if your son is old enough to understand why the 6 year old is opening presents and he isnt.

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Answer 4

Talk to your husband.. See how he views the situation. Also, maybe talk to your stepsons mother. Find out how much he will be getting at her home.

I think since he wont be there on xmas mornign, that there shouldn't be a problem if things are not quite even. It might be a little more important to see that whatever main, so to speak toy or gift, Each boy needs to Receive something that will be equally important to them personally.

But again, How does it work when say, it comes time for a more expensive gift- say a graduation gift, maybe a car... lets see, you and your husband buy one for each boy??? and then stepson gets one from his mom as well??
How will he decide what to drive???

I got off track alittle, anyway good luck!

Answer 5

you need to understand that it is Christmas it does not matter who got more . i understand if you give you son 20 dollars and your stepson sees you then you give him the same. You need to know that the youngest gets more but i think that it does not matter its not like they are going to count anyway it depends what is inside the box. now if you give your son for example an ipod and your stepson wanted one but didn't then i know where you are going but always get the expensive presents the same thing to both so there will not be a problem. the little things more or little it does not matter.

Answer 6

1)How expensive are the gifts you bought for your son? stepson? 2)If you were your stepson would you enjoy the gifts you received? I'd say keep it as even as possible so that no one becomes jealous. (like they say it's not only the size of the gift, but the cost as well.) If you've spent relatively the same amount on your son as you have on your stepson, you should be good to go. Good luck! Chow!

Answer 7

Be fair & equal. I have a step-son & 2 of my own. We try to spend the same amount on all three & even try to have the same number of gifts. My step-son has '2' Christmases. This year you are getting your step-son after christmas. What about the following years? You may get him & your son will notice the difference in the amount of gifts from when his step-brother wasn't there. Kids are smart & they notice these things. As they get older, the gift count may differ as this is what we are hitting now with my step-son is now 13. but he knows that his little brothers may get a little more but he knows that the same amount was spent. His gifts are a little more expensive. BTW..his little brothers are 6 & 8. He also has a little brother who is 1 that lives at his mom's house.
Talk to your hubby and see what he says and if he agrees. That's where it is important. It is your marriage and the kids are from each of you.

Answer 8

Put the shoe on the other foot. Would you want your new husband to do more for his son than yours? In my opinion, when you married, you committed yourself to both the father and the son. You promised to love, honor, and cherish them BOTH. By doing more for your biological son, you are dooming the step-parent/step-child relationship from the start. It does not matter if the stepson has Christmas 50 times, he should receive equal to what your son receives. Otherwise, the stepchild will always feel like there is favoritism. Just my thoughts and I am not judging you for your actions, but just telling you my thoughts! Best of luck!!

Answer 9

I think that's fair, though you should tell your stepson, in advance, that your son will be getting a little more because of the situation. He needs to know that you're doing this, not to be unfair to him, but because he's getting a lot extra from his mom.

Answer 10

I think you should be fine since they will not be opening their presents together. When my kids are younger I try to get them the same "number" of presents but when they get older I explain to them that I get them the same $$ amount - one person may get one present and another ten depending on the cost. I feel that is more fair. Good luck to you!