Essex girls?

Question

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
How many children?" asks the council worker.
10" replies the Essex girl.
10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and
Wayne".
Doesn't that get confusing?"
Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing
in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE
GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed
council worker.
That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames"




An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress" she
says.
Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"No"she replies. this time it's mayonnaise."



Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."



An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and
bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and
I'm going to ask
you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."



An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was
her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"



Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; There's blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till
she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"



An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one
of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"
So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,
"Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me
roight foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot"
"Cor blimey", exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers 'ave
got C&A on them".

Answer 1

LMAO while RAOTF!! great jokes!!

Answer 2

A lot of Essex girls today are Muslims or Irish travellers from thief families

Answer 3

C 'mon Essex let's get er , ha hah only kidding , nice ones 10 outa 10 lol

Answer 4

ROFL!!! Those are great.

I don't know any "Essex Girl's" personally, but the sound remarkably like some sorority girls I went to college with.

Answer 5

Very Funny

Just what I needed on a Friday Afternoon.

Answer 6

at first I thought you were talking about Essex, Maryland (USA).

Now I see that you mean Essex England. Believe it or not, it works out just the same.

Answer 7

thats funny! i like the one with the essex girl driving backwards!

Answer 8

well done always laughing they say laughter is the best medicine so i wont be ill for years with all your jokes 10/10

Answer 9

I chuckled my way through, 7/10.

Answer 10

so nice to see jokes that don't include a blonde, although im sure you've got some somewhere!!! always laughing at your jokes, fab!!!

Answer 11

ROFLMAO... But... the beggars will report you.... 8/10