Sex, Sex and More Sex, Am I Different Than Other Men My Age?

Question

I'm a 36yr old male. Very healthy and no bad habits like smoking, excessive drinking, drugs etc.

I'm married to a beautiful 37 yr old, 6ft blonde who is the most sexy woman I've ever known.

Our sex life is good, 2-3 times a week and usually at least once a month, we do the go out on a date thing, drinks flirting and then home for "super" fun together. Usually games, toys, etc.

However, as good as that is, it's not enough. I think about and want sex all the time. I mean all the time. When I wake up in the morning, while I'm sitting at my desk here at work, while driving home, once I get home, I just want to take her and strip her and have my way with her. I am so attracted to my wife and in love with her, I want her all the time.

Watching TV, I can't get my mind off of sex, anything I do, it's sex and more sex. I honestly think that I'm addicted.

Your thoughts, concerns, suggestions, please.

more....

I also "hit" on my wife all the time, compliment her, touch and rub her, hoping she'll be in the mood, I ask for sex a lot and sometimes she's just not in the mood, I try to initate it way too often, and I'm affraid that I'm being too pushy with her...

Answer 1

i so very glad that your sex drive hasnt forced you upon other women. its so sweet how much you love your wife. but seriously, you should talk to her about this. maybe having sex more often each week will work. are there some fantasy/desires you wanna try with your wife? talk to her about it. and maybe have more dates per month. bring home some roses, make a bubble bath, put on some jazz music and open some champagne. then enjoy the rest of the night of fun! and you are very normal. :)

Answer 2

I've always found it puzzling that people know that most things vary from person to person but somehow assume that sexual desire is the same. Most people have the odd idea that anyone who wants more sex than they do is strange. If the difference is very large usually labels get thrown around like being addicted to sex. Another common notion is that problems with desire can be overcome if you really love each other. You can either cling to these ideas or you can face facts.

I'm 44 but my preference is having sex twice a day. I don't use sex in place of affection; I am very affectionate. That is simply the amount that I need. This level is not common in the population and only about 1 in 500 women would match. So, I specifically looked for this in a potential girlfriend. This worked for me and I found someone who is a very good match both in terms of desire and other important things like being caring, having a sense of humor, having similar hobbies, etc.

If you are with someone who has a lot less desire than you do your options are limited. The first and most important thing is to ignore anyone and everyone who says that your wife will be more in the mood if you are: more romantic, show more respect, are more helpful, tell her you love her, consider her feelings more, be more understanding, etc, etc. From what you've described as having sex two to three times a week, your wife is perfectly average. It will not be possible for you to substantially increase her level of desire. That option is out.

That only leaves two options. Neither of these are ideal but they are all you have beyond the much worse options such as having an open marriage, cybersex, or having an affair. The first option is that you can masturbate completely separately from your wife using whatever erotic material you prefer. This however tends to have two bad side effects of both turning your fantasies away from your wife and it can also make your wife feel inadequate.

The second and best option is to talk this over with your wife carefully without any type of labeling or criticism. See if your wife would be willing to participate without actually engaging in sex. For example, see if she would be willing to cuddle with you while you masturbate. This is by far the best option because participation by your wife will tend to strengthen your feelings for her and because she is involved she won't tend to feel inadequate. Talk this over with her and see if she would be comfortable with some type of participation. Make it clear that you want her to participate because of your feelings for her and that she is not required to do anything beyond cuddling. She may feel like participating more at times like kissing you, caressing you, or even directly stimulating you. If she does then so much the better but make it clear that this is not required or expected everytime and consider it a bonus when you get it. If you can discuss this with her and she is willing this will be your best option.

Answer 3

Yes, you're normal. My fiancee' and I are even more frequent than you and your wife, (2 times a day on average, once in a while 3, at the very least at least once a day.)

He still can't seem to get enough. He asks me sometimes if I'm concerned with how sexually aroused he always is with me. He asks if it's "too much" and if he's normal. It seems so many men wonder if they're normal about this. :)

Are you newly weds? Within your first seven years of marriage? That could be part of it.

In fact, my financee' seems worse than you....maybe my guy isn't normal, after all????

Answer 4

OK, that is a little excessive, even for a healthy 35 year old man. If you can't turn it off for a while and concentrate on the tasks at hand (driving, doing office work, etc.) that might be a problem. Do you and your wife at least sit down and talk about things? Go for walks? Visit museums? Or is it just sex? It's great that you love your wife and are attracted to her, but it's gotta be based on more than sex. Otherwise that's just lust. Maybe you need to talk to someone, a counselor to see what a professional thinks.

Answer 5

If she wont consent to having sex more frequently with you, I'd recommend masturbating in the morning before work and in the evening after work to take the tension down a bit.

You're not different from other men your age - a lot of us want it almost all the time.

Answer 6

i'm like that besides. human beings like us have an somewhat very severe intercourse stress. You stated which you do those varieties of issues on your spouse , yet what does she try this fulfill you, and that i no longer conversing approximately that. except she does not try this then she might desire to initiate. Ask her dress up in a nun's custom or a college female. Watch some porn together with her , upload a sprint bondage . Fore play is a might desire to and it would be mutual. It wont artwork if its one sided. Be adventures. Masturbation gets drained some . delight in one yet another.

Answer 7

First, there's no such thing as addiction to sex. Hypersexuality is a symptom, not the disease. How does she feel about it? That may be your clue - if a guy thinks his woman is losing interest, he may well react as you are and desperately try to keep her attentions on his needs. It's not a terribly healthy way to go, mentally or physically. But it is understandable. If you've been together for awhile, you should be able to discuss these issues without strain or embarrassment. Try it; you may find out quite a bit about your relationship you weren't aware of, and it may well help you make improvements. Good luck!

Answer 8

You are perfectly normal I think, but if you are worried about it, maybe you should talk to a psychologist. Sometimes an overactive sex drive can be caused by a low self esteem, or a lack of other fulfillment in your life. My opinion is, that being sexually addicted to your wife is something that all marriages need more of. If you aren't pissing your wife off about it, I wouldn't worry. If you are scaring her, see someone who can help you get more of a handle on it.

Answer 9

No, I dn't think so. I'm married to a wonderful native american, and she loves for me to eat her, and use vibes when I tire until she gets it....We like to go out and rent Adult DVD's and watch them together, and end up doing it before the movies is over. I have 3 accounts on my pc with adult sites, that I visit every evening, and chat with others, as well as post pics of myself and wife, and check out others.....man, aren't we dirty old men, by society's standards? Some guys are more sexually minded than others, like some women. So enjoy it!

Answer 10

Dude, if I had a "a beautiful 37 yr old, 6ft blonde who is the most sexy woman I've ever known." I would be the same way.