Our daughter got pregnant and was left single. I have had to help raise our grandchild and he has gotten so close to me that he treats his mommy as a sister. Because she has had to work and not made a bond with her son, she is having a serious time getting him to listen to her. She was not ready for a child therfore she has struggled to bond with her son. She had a trouble relationship and had PostPartum after her son was born. She has decided to move on her own and see if she can regain her relationship with her son. He is now 2 and is very close to Grandpa and me. They will move 2hrs from here and I will be close enough to see them. I am glad for her decision and support her. I have done everything for both of them, will she be ok? Will she be able to handle all the repondsiblities that come with being a parent? Am I just worried?
2006-12-08 03:20:38 · 20 answers · asked by MaryHelen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You are worried and its ok. I was a single parent at 21 and I know what your daughter is going through but both her and your grandson are going to be ok. She is going to be fine and is doing the right thing.
2006-12-08 03:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like she is a level headed young lady. I too became a single mother of 3. It was hard at times, but we are soooo close. My sons have both grown up to be wonderful men - without a father in their lives. Grandpa was the male figure and they only saw him every other week or so. Back off and let her spread her wings. Sounds like you have enjoyed being the mommy to your grandson or you would have encouraged the bonding of the mom & son. There is NO reason that she has not bonded to him in 3 yrs, except maybe she was not allowed to, sounds like moving 2 hrs away will be the best thing for her.
2006-12-08 03:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by GP 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The reality is that there are lots of single moms out there successfully raising children on thier own...with the help of grandparents, siblings, and friends along the way. Try to be as supportive as possible because if she sees your doubt, it might affect her own self confidence. Two hours isn't too bad -- she could have chosen a far away state/province. I just hope she's moving "to" something and not "away". She's lucky to have such loving parents and I know you will continue to be there when she calls for help.
2006-12-08 04:07:08 · answer #3 · answered by Shorty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter can create a good social network where she's going, they should manage. Kids that young just go with the flow. But your grandson and your husband should spend as much time together as possible. Although very enriching, being raised by women only with no man in sight if you're a boy can complicate life at time and will require you to reinvent the wheel time and again...
2006-12-08 03:39:06 · answer #4 · answered by imprology 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a single mom, ibecame one at 18. I lived with my parents for a few years for several of the same reasons as your daughter, fromt he sounds of it. I decided to move out on my own. I only moved about 20 minutes away. And it was a big adjustement at first, she'll be thrown into the role of doing everything that she ahs had you todo and it will take some adjustment time for everyone. But she will be fine, who knows she might change her mind and move closer to you...
2006-12-08 06:10:49 · answer #5 · answered by his wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be worried, its a natural reaction especially when it comes to parenting. But she does have to start somewhere even if it wasnt the best start. Any man who leaves a pregnant woman has some serious issues. Your daughter is also having problems of her own such as trust issues and insecurity. Although this sort of thing is quite common now, it certainly doesnt make it any easier. The best thing you could is to make sure she can always rely on you and have complete trust in someone. Although she shouldnt completely rely on you, at this fragile time it may be best to provide some extra support then as she copes, give her room to grow her independence again.
2006-12-08 03:28:46 · answer #6 · answered by ricerfuel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hopefully she will be ok and maybe find someone that loves her and wants to take care of her and her son. Thats how it is with me. My girlfriend, now fiancee, had a son when I met her. She is now only 16 and we have just moved out on our own. It is not easy even for the two of us, but we are doing it and very happy. I think if she can work then and get help like from the state that she will be ok. It will be ok. I wish her the best of luck.
2006-12-08 03:25:57 · answer #7 · answered by starr 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Normal to be worried but how will she ever know if she can make it if you hold on to tight and do all for her? let her spread her wings and fly. It will be very hard at first and she will make lots of mistakes but if you step in and rescue her every time, how is she going to learn to handle things herself? Step in only in extreme emergency, like if there is life and limb endangered or some catastrophe is about to happen if you don't. Then make it a learning experience rather than just do it all for her. You have to let her go to see if she is going to be able to make it on her own. If you have done your job as you should, she will be fine. Will be hard for a bit but life is that way and it is how you learn to make it on your own two feet. She fell down when she was learning to walk and she will fall while learning to make a life for herself. let it happen and don't be overprotective.
2006-12-08 03:32:32 · answer #8 · answered by ramall1to 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will be fine if she has some good parenting skills.
She is moving out in the middle of the wonderful 2's. He doesn't listen and she clearly doesn't require him to listen to her.
She will have a rocky few weeks she needs a plan on dealing with that while he adjust living away from the grandparents.
2006-12-08 03:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes it takes being on your own and going through rough times to make you realize what you are capable of handling. Think back to when you were a new mommy. There was no owners manual with that new little one you had to figure it out on your own. I'm sure she will be fine. This will probably be a great experience for her and it sounds like you will always be there for her if she needs you!
2006-12-08 03:27:50 · answer #10 · answered by happymommy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter was me two years ago! It's very hard in the beginning but her and her son being on their own will help their relationship greatly, you have to make sure she knows that you are there for help and moral support if she needs it , cause she will. Her son not listening to her has alot to do with trust, you've always been the one there for him to count on, clothes, meals, one on one time, and now it's mommies turn. He knows who his mother is, it's just time for him to start to rely on her instead of you and Grandpa. And with a stable home now and mom around more he will slowly start to turn around. Make sure you have once bi-weekly "sleepovers" with you ( to let him know he's still very important to you and your husband) to start to make him look forward to his VISITS with his Grandparents, because then he will also look forward to coming home to mommy. It's a huge transition for a child but with extra love and time from his mom he will do fine! Good Luck to you and your daughter!
2006-12-08 03:32:00 · answer #11 · answered by jillybean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋