who do you get back at you first love for hurting you?

Question

i was with this boy for about five years until i decided to leave him because me wasn't treating me right. but that's no the whole story! he put his friends before me and our child, he started staying out late with his boys, then he decided to get female friends and he said that they were just friends but i knew that it was more than that. i asked and he denied. it got so bad. we argued and fought. he started spending more time we them than us and i finally made him choose but he didnt so chose for him and left.he asked me back but i was to hurt. we trued to work it out but we grow farther apart. we tried to be friends that didnt work out. we argue more and told him he couldnt see his son. that mad it worse. i was trying to get him aback but i didnt succeed.know he says hes getting married to a girl he only known for 3 months. one of girls that he said they were friends. he says i pushed him away to her but he wouldn't let me b there for him and she was. know im a struggling mom.

Answer 1

Obviously you have to face the cold hard truth... i mean he hasen't treated you right in the past, you said so yourself. And he started getting further away and getting female friends. From that point, it says it all and there is no return. The best thing you could do was avoid him and let him know you are happier without him and don't need him. It's not easy when a kid is involved with all the variables. But in the end, just don't make him have the upper hand.. It's like he's was playing cat and mouse, trying to MAKE you want him back so he could hurt you more with all he's doing. he is obvioulsy NOT worthy to have you even as a friend and you should make sure he knows you are THRILLED with his new wedding and that you will be way better off without him and that who needs a guy like him anyway! And perhaps if you get the chance to thank that so called friend who is becoming his bride... thank her in person telling her you're gratefull for taking him out of your hair and that you have a entire futur in front of you now. Most probably they will both find it very strange for you to say that but he's probably going to be shocked that you don't want him back and even worst are HAPPY about it all. And who knows, you might even see the wedding cancelled and him trying to get back to you... but hopefully you'll never let him near your heart again. And also the girl after hearing you thanking her will surely have serious doubts about what kind of guy he is...

Don't ever let him tell you that YOU pushed him away... heck, did you make him get females friends?? Ugh... i'm so sick of guys trying to put the blame on others... he's a jerk, and surely doesn't diserve any girl! Good luck and be strong, you diserve way better!!

Answer 2

You so did the right thing by leaving him and I'm glad he won't take you back. You will be better for it. You did not push him away and you are so not guilty of anything except loving him and your child and wanting the best for yourself and child. You shouldn't be a struggling mom, he must pay you child support or he should go to jail. Don't punish the child by not letting him see his father, that will only cause resentment towards you. This child is just as much a responsibility to your EX as it is to you. Contact a lawyer and make him pay for half of everything, he shouldn't be able to just walk away scott free. You did the right thing and I am proud of you for it.