me and my boyfriend have been together 2 yrs. we have been living together for one year and we have a 6month old baby. it started when i moved in i would try to initiate sex and he was always "too tired". i thought it was because i was pregnant but then i had the baby and in a matter of weeks i went right back to shape im told all the time that it doesnt even look like i had a baby... so i dont understand i fix myself up i try to be spontaneous im up for anything he wants and the answers always no. the most we do it is every 2 weeks, once!!! im going crazy... im like the guy in the relationship i feel like a horn dog??? whats wrong here???
2006-12-08 03:09:29 · 22 answers · asked by desi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Most men would love to have a woman like you, you just need to get him to realize that. Show him what he's been nmissing.
2006-12-08 03:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by Rob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he really does feel tired and stressed. that can happen to guys too you know. Instead of pushing the sex issue, just try relaxing with him in front of the TV and snuggle up to him, cook him dinner and pamper him. The feeling of closeness may get him interested. If he is feeling a lot of pressure this may help make him feel more at ease and he will be more in the mood for more intimate activities. However, if you pressure him for sex and act dejected when he turns you down, it will only create more stress and you can forget about it.
I know this sounds a little old fasshioned, but it doesn't make it ineffective. I am not talking about being the submissive housewife, I am talking about helping him relax and rejeuvinate.
Hope this will help!! :)
2006-12-08 11:18:22 · answer #2 · answered by Nuts 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he was in the delivery room for the birth of the baby & or you nursed your baby:
It maybe hard for him to think of you in a sexual way due to, the "MOTHER" figure you have become. Men have this thing about respecting their moms & it's hard for some to change gears after the the birth of a child.
Sit down & have a very calm polite talk w/him. Tell him how you feel.
Find out his feelings. Is it possible that he is scared that you will get pregnant again ?
Maybe so couple counceling maybe in order.
Best of Luck
2006-12-08 11:22:04 · answer #3 · answered by LCee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Himself has not grown up, for whatever reason. You could try counseling. If he won't go, you go anyway and see why you put up with his immaturity and selfishness.
It's going to be rough, but you shouldn't put up with it and if it does not change real fast, you need to show him the door and tell him no to let it hit him on the butt on his way out. There are good men out there who'd be more than happy to move in and take over where he's totally inadequate - but be fair and give him one more chance to get his stuff together. And if he don't - well, don't take on a new guy until you've properly severed the ties with this one.
2006-12-08 11:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not for you. If he's getting it somewhere else, that's where he should be. If it's just the way he is you will never be happy. You don't share the same wants and desires for each other. You are seeking a healthy open relationship with someone who is closed, unresponsive and uncommunicative. It also sounds like you've given him time to come out of any temporary funk.
2006-12-08 11:37:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men lose interest in sex after the woman has had a child... some mental deal with knowing a baby has passed through there.
Or maybe he's losing interest in the relationship in general. It's also possible his sex drive is low because he's sleeping with others.
2006-12-08 11:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by Quagmire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him honestly that you need sex.Explain to him in a positive way how this would impact the relationship.Tell him that you love him,but his refusal to have sex isnt making it any easier for you to be in this relationship.If he does somethin about it or works on it,you are better off with him.You can also seek therapy.But if he doesnt,you seriously need to reconsider to keep your relationship or not.
2006-12-08 11:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I presume he does not find you attractive enough to arouse him. Try some new sexy outfits. You may want to try blowing him as well. All guys love that. Have a candle light dinner with plent of wine and sit there in just your underwear (preferably thong). Get him a little tipsy and make you move. Be creative.
2006-12-08 11:14:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first couple of times he was probably truely to tired. But because you keep bothering him about it he keeps using the excuse because it made you go away before. To be honest there is no fun in the chase when you want it all the time.
2006-12-08 11:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by downtwner23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's insecure about himself or maybe its something else it may not be your fault. You should talk to him and find out what the problem is. I don't think he should be tired all the time somethin' is up with that. Just try talkin to him
2006-12-08 11:19:01 · answer #10 · answered by shorty_by_nature 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋