My mother is a very difficult, angry, controlling person and it is especially hard for me this time of year because I am the only one of the 4 children that live near her. She has never loved her kids or grandkids and everyone expects me to entertain her at Christmas but it is so stressful for me that I keep falling back into a deep depression. She sits around feeling sorry for herself all the time. I invited her for dinner at Christmas Eve but then she goes and tells my sister that she spends the holidays alone every year. She was at my house last year for Christmas!
She constantly picks at everything I do and she tells me my house stinks and says hurtful things. She was at my house last year for Christmas! The closer I get to Christmas the more stressed I get. I really don't want her at my house because I will have a very difficult time looking at her without anger.
2006-12-08 03:07:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Have a great Christmas with your family and leave her alone.
2006-12-08 03:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, sounds just like my mom. Except she doesn't say that my house stinks. She actually compliments me on my house and housekeeping. I understand exactly how you feel. If you don't want her over, then tell her that you are going somewhere else for Christmas Dinner. What do your other sisters have to say about the situation? Tell one of them to invite her over and pick her up if need be. Hope you enjoy your Holiday Season!!!
2006-12-08 04:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez! Are we related? Sounds like my Mother. So here's what we did. We sat her down on Christmas eve & told her the plain hard facts about her behaviour & made sure she knew she'd be spending Christmas alone if she couldn't control her attitude. Of course she denied she was the problem but her behaviour improved dramatically. The following year we combined her Birthday, Mother's day & Christmas gift & paid for her exspenses to spend Christmas with one of the other family members. Works out great because now we only have her once every four years!!!!
2006-12-08 03:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by Diablo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF she has never loved her family...time to show her exactly where that got her..ALONE !!
You do not need to spend time with anyone YOU DON"T WANT TO. YOU are an adult and can make the decision to leave her out of your life.
We do not have to like our family. We do not have to spend time with them THERE IS NO LAW STATING THAT. Rid your stress by limiting time spent with her. If she has a problem with it then she call you and ask why she is no longer invited to your life's celebrations!
Easier said than done! Yes I know, but ONLY YOU can make this decision. You already know what is right for you to do.
2006-12-08 04:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by Kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom is very similar to yours it sounds like. You need to just go visit her and then do your own thing with your family. Have your sister entertain her for the Holidays. You do not have to put up with any of the negativity that your mom inflicts on you . I finally learned when something is so destructive (and it sounds like she is ) you have to distance yourself... Good Luck and dont let her get to you that is exactly what she wants.
2006-12-08 03:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by luckygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother is very controlling, demanding, argumentative, degrading, etc. Nothing I ever do is ever good enough. My answer is not to deal with it. When we are having a conversation on the telephone and she starts, I hang up. When (hardly ever) we are visiting her and she starts, I leave. Yes, my father is still alive and is just as bad as she is. Not to deal with them is my choice and it was hard at first because they are mom and dad, but my stress level went way down when I refused to deal with their attitudes.
2006-12-08 03:51:24 · answer #6 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps Christmas is not the right time to do this but you owe it to her to explain to her how you feel. My mother too fell into this kind of despair a few years before she died but I never stopped trying to explain to her how by being negative towards herself and others that she was creating her own hell on earth. Sometimes she became so angry with me for not letting her talk badly about others in the family that she would talk to me for weeks. But before she died she understood that I was trying to help her not hurt her and before she died she told me she understood now and how much she loved me for it. It's sad, but sometimes until people are faced with death they cannot let go of the pettiness and hatred they carry with them in life. Maybe family counseling would her understand how much what she says affects the family and get to the root of her negativity.
2006-12-08 03:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by aiguyaiguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't put yourself through that. If she wants to see you for Christmas, she can host it herself. Go but the minute she started in, leave. She can say whatever she wants, you already know how she is.
2006-12-08 03:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple, don't show up at her home at on Christmas and she'll understand what a biatch she is. Maybe after that she'll have a change of attitude.
2006-12-08 03:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by Wendy Love Muffin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋