Can this work he tells me he changed but.......?

Question

I was in a relationship with a great guy and for a whole year we spent everywaking hour together. When i was in college, i told him of the bad food served, so he went to his grandmothers house and got me a plate of food! He was so sweet, showering me with attention and all that. When one day it cam crashing down and a woman told me that she and him been having a relationship for the same year we were. When confronted he said that he wanted to tell me for the longest time but couldnt. It took forever for me to get over it, so he said that he is glad its out in the open. He said that before he met me he was always playing women. He tells me that he want us to get married and he is ready to settle down with me cause I am the only woman he loved. Well I forgave him (silly huh?) and we have continued on for another year, but in the back of my mind I wondered: if once a cheater always a cheater, will he do it again? I am so scared i cant go back to that pain. and he wants to get married but?

I cant help but feel that he will cheat on me again, with the same or other woman. I really tried to trust him, and I have succeded but something tells me that if this is going to be forever, what will happen if we get in a fight or something? will he stay? Real answers needed (smart *** comments will be reported)

Answer 1

Has he done anything at all to make you mistrust him since that time? If not then keep moving forward with him cautiously and keep your eyes and ears open. If in another year or so he still does nothing to break your trust, then those suspicions will start to fade away. But if it still bothers you that much after another year, you will have to break it off because you will never be able to trust him again. Without that trust you will never be as close or as intimate than you should be.

Answer 2

You sound intuitive and I think you are right to be skeptical. He has a history of ongoing deception. Capable of living a double life, I would find it very difficult to ever trust him, even though I know you wish you could. Sorry, but people just don't change. If he is ever going to learn his lesson, it will be by having suffer the consequence of his actions. By staying with him, you enable him to continue, without penalty, his wicked ways. So, forgiveness is one thing, while setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery and heartache is another. Your skepticism is born out of something he did, so you are not the bad guy here. I think you've got to come to terms with the facts and face the reality by explaining to him that after what happened, 100% trust will never come. Maybe it's time to move to the next chapter of your life with someone a little more worthy, and maybe he can learn to become a decent person, but it will have to with someone else. He blew his chance with you. Make sense?

Answer 3

The sad truth is that people rarely change. Even when the behavior changes ... they are still the same person on the inside. You are right when you say once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 4

My answer for you question.
He is such a dupe guy and a two face bastard. He is trying to put the blame on other people when it's his own doing.
A cheater won't change, he will always be a cheater. why worry, let him go to hell his not worth it.

Answer 5

Run. Lying, or hiding, shows immaturity, a lack of respect, a lack of trust. Love is one thing, but a lack of respect and trust is critical to a relationship.

Sorry...and best of luck. (CyberHug)

Answer 6

once a cheater always a cheater

Answer 7

You have to trust your gut on this one. If, deep down, you feel that he will cheat again, then I think you have your answer.

Answer 8

Life is a chance but somethings I don`t like taking a chance with.If you have any doth about him don`t do it.