0k my ex bf and i have been out of a relationship for about a month and yesterday when i was on myspace he writes me and tells me that he thinks we should get back together cus he loves me and im the one for him! Now keep in mind we broke up because i found out he was cheating on me, and even though i still love im just not ready to make the same commitment again because my heart was broken so bad the first time and i dont know if i could ever trust him and everyone knows if there is no honesty or trust in a relationship then there is not one at all so im kinda stuck in a hard place here because i really and truly do love him but i dont wanna be cheated on and lied to and to this day he still denies that he never cheated on me and for some reason last nite i wanted to believe him because he was crying but like i said i just dont know i need some advice from some sistas 18 and older
2006-12-08 02:05:14 · 35 answers · asked by gurl_balla14 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its quite simple:
never pursue a man that is not pursuing you!
never praise a man short on solutions and long on bull s h i t!
never submit yourself to him fully if he doesnt have a ring on your finger!
in regards to the relationship, there are no vacancies - he doesnt deserve you - he cheated and you are a woman and as a woman please know you are worth more than gold and your price is far above rubies - if you dont remember anything i said - remember this:
people that are limited by their own pain, can and will only love in a limited way - in any relationship, sometimes it takes distance to make us stronger or not - he found out too late as people come into your life for seasons and anything that happens is for a reason - you will never miss the water until the well runs dry - there are millions of men out there - you will find someone better and this experience will make you stronger for the next walk in the park - love yourself and be confident!
2006-12-08 02:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by thetruth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! this is eerie! i went through the same thing earlier this year. I ended up forgiving him and we went on with the relationship. However, I had to realize that the relationship will NEVER be the same again. So the relationship became hot and cold. one minute we were the world's most in love couple, the next i hated his guts and thought about that situation in which he cheated on me. So we moved in together, and my trust in him was reinforced because he started to tell me where he was going at all times and he was home everynight. the only problem was that now he didnt trust me(that happens when the cheater cheats, they then feel like everyone will cheat on them...karma) and so the relationship continued to be hot and cold. So i decided to move out because our arguments were getting out of control. However, when things started to cool off he told me that he missed me and he wants us to still be together, have a family get married and all that jazz, so we are back together but now that we dont live with each other i am having a problem trusting him, i tried breaking it off but he wont hear it. (that could be a yahoo question) long story short if i had to do it all over again i would have left him when i heard that he cheated and kept walking! If you can forgive him and try to work on trust and STAY committed to it then take him back, BUT if your not sure keep walking because his infidelity will stick with you like peanut butter!
2006-12-08 02:17:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really can't tell you what to do, but I will give you advice that I live by. Once a cheater always a cheater. Once that trust is broken, it will never come back and neither will he. I was cheated on a few times and it doesn't feel good. I never took them back either. The worse part of cheating is when they cheat on you with someone you know. So why would you take him back if he lied to you once and broke that trust. He will do it again. I hope you find someone that will treat you like the queen that you are and not a sucker! Good luck
2006-12-08 02:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by Ms.Deb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im 23, and from what I've seen of cheaters, is that once a cheater, almost always a cheater. I have a guy friend that got back together with this chick 4 times, everytime he found her cheating with the same guy.
If you want, try having a casual relationship with him first, before having a deep relationship.
But honestly, there are other guys out there.
The real answer is to do what your heart tells you to do.
Take care, best wishes, and I really hope all goes well.
Happy Holidays!
2006-12-08 02:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen - take it from someone with experience, when someone cheats on you it's up to ~you~ if you're wanting to make it work. Some women can forgive and move on from it and some women just aren't able. One isn't better than the other it's just a difference in the way we're made up. I went back with someone after they cheated and guess what? They cheated again - I decided then and there that I'd never give a cheater a 2nd chance. You need to search your heart - can you see yourself forgiving him? Is he mature enough to understand that he has a LOT of work to do if you decide to take him back? Some guys can't stand the pressure of needing to be 100% transparent after they've cheated. There's a lot to consider and the only answer you'll find that's worth listening to is in your own mind.
Good luck!
2006-12-08 02:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by razor_sharp_redhead 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take him back he will do it again, as he hasn't even admited he did cheat on you in the first place.
My ex boyfriend cheated on me and i took him back, (he never admited it either) which now i regret as he did it again, it's not a very nice relationship when you can't trust someone and constantly worrying if they will do it again, constantly suspisious of little things you never even thought about before.
Alot of arguments, i don't know about you but i couldn't forgive the fact that he had been sneaking around behind my back and lying to me, coming home to me and looking in my face when he knew what he had been doing.
I know you said he was crying etc. but thats just part of their little act believe me they will say or do anything to get you back, to them it's like a game, not getting you back is like a blow to their huge ugly ego.
Men like that are selfish and you can't change them, once a cheat always a cheat.
I just don't want you to have to go through what i went through, in the end it wasn't worth it nothing was gained and everything lost, i wasted 5 years with that fool when i could have just walked away a long time before without the added hassle of housing and other issues, forget about him, and find somebody who you CAN trust.
2006-12-08 02:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen gur ball, I am 22 years old and have a lot of experiences when it comes to things like this. I personally think that you should move on with your life. It might be hard at first because you love him but with time you'll learn to deal with it. If you want, give your self some time alone. But if you want to date again get a more mature guy. I think that if you get back with this guy is going to cause you drama and pain if he plays you again. So move on girl. He might cry and say he didn't play but I honesly believe that the, crying is just another card they play to get you back and do the samething over again. So be careful. (Question )do you have proof he play you? If you don't. Don't ever listen to what other people might say, some people are just haters and like to see happy couples go their seperate ways. But if you do have proof he played you "ones a cheater is always a cheater".
Good luck :)
2006-12-08 02:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u shouldnt let him back into your life. I think that because i anostly think hes gone to hurt u agian. Tell me did u ever send nights crying because of something that he did to you. I know i have withthe one boy i love so much but annostly my life is much better without him i love him more then life loves its self but i know when im with him i see my face in the pillow all the time. Somebody told me that any man that makes u cry isnt worth your tears but a man who doesnt is. I think that u shouldnt take hikm back. i think that ur find with out him Makebe one day when yall both get more mature you guys can have an relationship. And if u dont trust him your right there is no relationship with relationship comes trust without it you have nothing
2006-12-08 02:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by take it or leave it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is why didn't he cry and tell you this a month ago.. Sounds like to me the girl he cheated on you with doesn't want him either... He should of did the crying and all that when you left him instead of a month later.. I would just leave him alone and find someone that deserves your love.. There are some good men out there.. so go find him.... Good Luck dear...
2006-12-08 02:11:59 · answer #9 · answered by Indymom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A month is too soon. Take some time to yourself, and try to cut off as much contact with him as possible. If he truly wants to be with you, he will wait until you are ready. If he keeps bothering you, he is just thinking about himself. It is possible to heal after cheating, but only if you give yourself ample time. Also, unless he comes clean about the situation, it will never work out between the two of you. He needs to grow up, admit his mistakes, and then give you time to decide what you want to do. Plus, he needs to call you, not myspace message you!
2006-12-08 02:09:43 · answer #10 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋