I am living a lie... what do guys look for?

Question

here is my problem, yes it sound babyish but i dont know what to do.
all my friends have got boyfriends or at least ahve a chance, they have all gone further than me with guys. guys just dont seem me in that way. I made up havin a boyfriend.... i know childish thing to do.. but it has gone so far now i have said i dumped him but i dont know wot to do i cant say anything bout me lying they would hate me forever. also all guys out there wot do u look for in girls?

Answer 1

not liars

Answer 2

I really feel for you. When I was young I had no confidence, and I wasn't exactly what you would call pretty. I got so fed up with being teased about my lack of boyfriends, (even some of my relatives used to joke about me being 'left on the shelf'), which is so hurtful to a gawky, awkward, unconfident teenager. Anyway, I too made up a boyfriend so that my 'friends' at school would lay off me. To this day I don't know whether they realised, but it is really hard to sustain a lie, so I would advise that you leave it with telling them that you have dumped him, and don't feel the need to elaborate any further. With regards to them all going further than guys with you, don't worry. Half of them are probably exaggerating their experiences, and the other half will probably live to regret some of the things they have done. I'm not saying stay a virgin until you are 35, just don't put any pressure on yourself to do anything that you don't feel ready for. As for what to guys look for, I eventually came to realise that you need to make friends with guys before seeing them as potential boyfriend material. I have a teenage nephew who has two female best friends, they both say that they cherish the relationship they have with him. You can have a really rewarding relationship with a guy without him necessarily being your boyfriend. Believe me, if you concentrate on cultivating friendships with guys, you'll be going on dates in no time. Join a club, start hanging out in different places to where you normally go, ask your friends to introduce you to new guys. Your true friends won't abandon you because you don't have a boyfriend. It's now 22 years since I was going through what you are going through, but I can still remember how awful it made me feel, and all I can say to you is that I PROMISE that things will eventually come right for you.
Have a great Xmas and New Year xx

Answer 3

If you haven't had a boyfriend by now you must either be really pretty (in which case they will go for your uglier friend because your too fit to approach) or your sending out the wrong messages to the guys; because if you were ugly then you'd be guaranteed the ride at the end of the night! Just tell the person you like that you really like them and see what happens

Answer 4

Wow, that's a loaded question from a chic if i ever heard one.
1. Most guys look for physical beauty. Men are visually stimulated.
2. They are also stimulated by touch. If your flirty it can go a long way for them to not see you as cold or distant...
3. Most men are shy, yes believe it. Try not to be distant or think that a guy doesn't want anything to do with you.
4. If you just talk to one and he talks back, bam, you know he's interested. Especially if the conversation lasts more than five minutes.
5. As for relationships, guys really do want the same things as girls. Love, respect, intelligence, romance.

Answer 5

You sound young, sex will be available to you for a long time so please don't sweat that. I hear younger guys at work talk about the girls that they have slept with, it's not flattering. I know in this world today it sounds stupid to say but most (not all but most) young men are as frightened ,confused and lacking experience at dating, sex and just plain being with a woman as you sound about men. Young guys need a push, find that guy and go get him. Chances are he would first but he's too damn scared!!!
Finally , guys are looking for the girl(on a long term basis) that doesnt have the long list of men tatooed on her butt..... they want the girl who is sweet and at least on the surface innocent . Remember the less talk guys do with their friends about you the better.

Answer 6

Instead of making up an imaginery b/f, I am willing to offer myself up as your boyfriend, pretend or otherwise. I live and work in London.

Even if I was only to be your pretend b/f whilst you wait for the real one to come along, we could have some fun doing things that your friends are doing with their mates and you are missing out on. :-)

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and Oral? No! Well in that case, D'ya wanna do lunch?

Answer 7

I like a girl that enjoys herself, have a good laugh and is not afraid to stand up for herself. I had a similar experience when I was younger and did the same as you but I dont regret it in the slightest and I`m way past it now

Answer 8

i'm exactly the same except for being a guy.
If people ask i tell them i don't have a girlfriend, its simple truth. either i'm not quite what they are looking for or its just not my time who knows.

As for what a guy looks for that can be quite individual, some want the perfect body and not too worried about the between the ears content, some like a balance between the two (about where i fit in)

Answer 9

well i dont know why you had to do that but ok well every guy looks for different things in a girl some have good things that they look for and some bad things that they look for. so the number one thing is to just be your self dont put on acts and stofe just be your self. that is one thing that i look for in a girl. and how she is as a person. so i hope that this helps you a little bit. so just stay in it and keep your head held up high.

Answer 10

wow i have the same problem. Guys just dont seem to like me in a sexual way (well not as many as I'd like). I'm 17 and i've never had an actual bonified boyfriend. There's someone out there for you just like there's someone for me.

Answer 11

Honestly? Someone willing to shag me. That's about it... er.. preferably with a pulse and not young enough to get me arrested and not old enough that she might die half way through. I'm really that unfussy. Surprisingly, I still don't pull that much. I'm crap at chatting people up. It's like you're just going through a charade to get to the end point - sex. I can't do it convincingly.

Fancy a shag?