We have a 12 year old boy who just don't care. We have grounded him, rewarded him, ignored him, and I have run out of ideas. He just does not do his homework and tends to not participate in class. I constantly email his teachers and they always email me telling me he is missing work. Help! I am at my wits end with him. And when he is at home all he does is argue with me. Which is causing fights between my husband and I . He also has 2 younger siblings. I treally do not want them to watch everything that is happening in our house right now!
HELP!
2006-12-08 01:21:00 · 16 answers · asked by ANDREA 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Where does he do his homework?
Try sitting him in front of you..... don't let him leave until he is done, I know its hard with having other kids to think about, but he needs your help, maybe he doesn't understand something and instead of asking for help, hes just not doing anything.....
Be patient, try to be understanding to him, show him that you care.... without yelling....
2006-12-08 01:26:19 · answer #1 · answered by mrs. ruspee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. My middle child (and oldest son) is 9 and I have the hardest time with him staying focused and getting his homework done. I never have this problem with my 11 year old (Oldest-daughter). I have a rule that he can not play or have his friends over until all his homework done. That is our set rule. Now it is up to him to finish it however quickly he wants to. My daughter has even told her brother that she would show him how to do his homework effectively and help him study for tests.
It is my opinion but it seems to me the boys are generally disorganized and have trouble with focusing on tasks. My daughter is very focused and pretty organized. My suggestion to you is try and be patient with him. Have him only do his homework in one spot. Doing this insures that he can't leave papers just anywhere. Also buy him some "in" baskets. It may sound funny but it can keep all his paper organized and will get him on the track of being organized. Also have a regular routine after school. Our's is come home and have a snack. Then they do their homework. After that if there is time then they can play with their friends.
2006-12-08 03:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by Denise G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is HIS homework and at 12 HIS responsiblity. If he doesn't do his schoolwork he will be held back. That won't be the end of the world. My daughter went through the same thing, she failed her senior year of highschool. Sprang back, passed adult ed classes with straight As and did so two months BEFORE the end of the classes. She got her diploma, went on to college and has pulled a straight 4.0 grade point average for 2 1/2 years.
2006-12-08 18:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him sit in an empty room with nothing in it except for his homework. No TV, no video games, no computer.. nothing.. just him and his homework. He doesn't get to come out until his homework is done. Eliminate all distractions. He'll hate it and he'll probably protest loudly at first, but he'll get tired of it eventually and decide to do his homework.
Also, you need to eliminate the attitude that it's okay to argue with authority! You tell him how it is, and as soon as he argues, hold up your hand and cut him off. Tell him that is unacceptable behavior and it will result in punishment. If your husband is not backing you up, you need to talk to him and tell him you need his support. Your son needs to know he's loved, but also that his bad behavior will not be tolerated (by either of you).
2006-12-08 01:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am by far not suggesting this but thought it was a pretty neat idea. Did you read about the parents that stood their son outside on a street with a sign that said something to the affect of "This is how I will earn my money and where I will live if I don't do my homework".
There isn't a whole lot you can do. Maybe talk with him about his hopes and dreams for when he gets older. If he says for example "I want to be a doctor", take him to speak with one about what it takes to get there.
2006-12-08 01:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am both a teacher and a Mom and I am not really a believer in homework. But I insist that it be done.
I enforce this with a paddle. Try it.
The other thing is try to have as much structure in your life at home as possible. Make sure there is time and a particular place for him to do his homework. Not in front of the TV or while listening to music. Have yourself availaibable to help him. Insist that it be done BEFORE other things.
Provide all this. Tell him it is an ironclad rule and that if he fails to comply there will be consequences and no questions asked or excuses given--and get out the paddle.
2006-12-08 20:46:02 · answer #6 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Just continue to withhold privileges until the homework is completed. You can only do so much and if he doesn't do the work then the odds are he won't be promoted to the next grade. Maybe if he realizes that he won't get to go on with his friends then that will motivate him.
2006-12-08 03:40:21 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try talking to him to find out what the problem is. The easiest way to figure out a problem is to ask. Then, you sit down with him at night and help him work on his homework.
Kids don't automatically understand how to manage their time and why homework is important. You'll need to teach him about those kinds of things.
2006-12-08 01:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you hire him a homework tutor--perhaps a college student who will oversee his work and help expalin the things he is not getting? It sounds to me like he may be depressed or have some trouble understanding the material. The one-on-one help might be just what he needs.
2006-12-11 02:50:38 · answer #9 · answered by kwinkle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most of the time if i was a mom+had a 12 yr old who didn't do his homwork i would ground him...i'm 12 but sometimes i just don't want to do my homewok...but eventually i do it...u need 2 talk 2 him and find out wat his problem is...maybe its cuz he doesn't get it and needs tutoring to be able to be confident enough to do his homework. 1st u need to ask him if he wants to repeat grades by lack of learning or doing work
2006-12-08 13:13:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋