I tried the friend thing with him,but i'm still in love with him and i know he doesn't want me in that way.He is there when i have minor problems but he is a emotionally unavailable person.He treated me very cold during the time of my miscarriage last Saturday and he texted me a apology and said he felt extremely bad for how he pushed me away.I texted him it was too late and goodbye i talked him yesturday he said he was coming by to comfort me and he didn't answer my calls until i texted him this was his last chance and goodbye he called me back then i didn't answer the phone. I'm finally at peace with our break up and i can not be his friend after lossing his unborn baby is that mean because i'm pushing him away but he wasn't there when i needed him the most.
2006-12-08 01:03:55 · 16 answers · asked by imacutie2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop texting and try talking
2006-12-08 01:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by John Scary 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u are dealing more with the miscarriage then your ex. Men have a very hard time dealing with that type of emotion from women, they just don't understand it and the don't know what to say in moments like that, so sometimes it seems they are not there for u. Guys only like to deal with issues that they have answers to, they are not like women who can sit and comfort someone and realize they don't need answers, they just need to vent out their feelings and feel someone is there for them. I am very sorry for your loss, but if u do love him I would give him a chance. Don't try to make choices on your relationship right now when u are hurting from this other loss. Let him be there to comfort u as much as he can and realize he had a loss too and probably just doesn't know how to handle it. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-08 01:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say I am very sorry for your loss. I think you need to move on. He is not the one you would want to spend the rest of your life with anyway. And God has a way of making things happen for the best. And I know the loss of the baby must have been very painful, however for the best. This man sounds as though he would not have made a very good father, and that would have been unfair to you and the child, mostly to the child. You need to move on and stop allowing him access to your heart and your feelings. He has already proved himself unworthy. By not being available at one of the worst times in your life. You deserve better, and as long as you keep him around you will be unavailable for who God really has in mind for you. Leave his selfish behind alone. And move forward. There is really nothing left to talk about. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-08 01:10:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know what you are going through and - it was mean and extremely cold for him to not be RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE when you experienced the loss that you did. Perhaps he was dealing with it within himself and that is why he appeared unavailable, but its still no excuse.
I believe you have every right to push him away if he is not willing to be with you when you still love him or comfort you when you needed him the most. Still, I believe its better to cut ties after a break up so you dont leave open doors for him to come back and hurt you/lead you on...
make sense??? <3
2006-12-08 01:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by Phatstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a very similar situation. He was always mean always distant. Came running after me everytime he wanted something. He dragged me down to the clinic and told me that if I didn't get it done, he would make sure that my life would be a living hell. He did regardless. I regret getting it done to this day.
Either way, get new phone numbers if you have to, new email addy's and new User names for your instant messengers. If he comes over, tell him you put a restraining order on him. That should do the trick. Move if you have to. Either way the best revenge you can have on an emotionally unavailable man is knowing that they can't hurt you anymore. As women, its hard for all of us, we wanna keep running back even though we get treated like ****. Keep in mind that loving a worthless guy is like any kickable addiction. Gets easier with time.
2006-12-08 01:09:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really deep but i was in the same situation the best thing to do is stay friends because you never know when you are going to need one. You are not mean for pushing him away. You are right he wasn't there when you needed him most maybe he was just heartbroken about the whole miscarriage incident. But don't push him too far or else you will end up pushing right to someone else.
2006-12-08 01:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by destiny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad. You are right to push him away because if he cared about you and the unborn child he would have been at your side. I would not relocate if your life is established unless you had planned on it anyway. It will get easier. When you start meeting new men then you will see that there is still love out there and there are some men who do care.
2006-12-08 01:09:10 · answer #7 · answered by lepluver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello honey,
No its not mean, though you might be having some hormonal swings right now that could affect your real feelings......
In any case, if you are done with the guy, don't call him, don't text him, don't answer his calls. That would be the fastest way to move on with your life in a positive direction.
Best wishes
S
2006-12-08 01:36:24 · answer #8 · answered by Sharlene R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might need a very evolved highly communicative man...rare...it also cpuld be you are very raw on the inside.
A cooling off period followed by a few weeks of couples counseling might help you both deternmine what is up with you separately and together.
2006-12-08 01:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to move on and leave the past where it is, IN THE PAST
you have lost a child, i am sorry to hear that, but being around someone who just doesn't care is not going to be very healthy for you and your state of mind, try something new in your life and move on
2006-12-08 01:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you already know what you need to do.
Just tell him that it is too hard for you to remain friends with him. Ask him to respect your wishes and tell him that you think the world of him and wish him all the best.
2006-12-08 01:07:04 · answer #11 · answered by KB OH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋