she has chipped black nails as she writes a song
about a boy who in her heart belongs
but he doesnt reconise her and couldnt care less
dosent even notice when shes dressed her best
she cant take it anymore!
heart is messed up than ever before
she cant remember the last time she was happy
nobody knows but deep down she feels crappy
tired of living tired of breathing
tired of spending all night greiving
you see this girl has never been liked
not even when she tryed with all her might
tell her shes beautiful
tell her you care
stop lying to her its not very fair
make her feel happy
make her feel strong
make her feel as if she belongs
2006-12-07 23:48:01 · 16 answers · asked by you. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I like it. Made me feel sorry for the girl in it and it's something a lot of people can relate to.
Unfortunately spelling and grammar lets it down so it only get 8/10.
2006-12-07 23:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Marko979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7
2006-12-08 08:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by mommy2be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
about a 6
2006-12-08 07:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the poem is really nice, If I was a publisher I'll try to publish it in a book but I'm not and the only thing I can say is its really good. It actually sounds like my last relationship and I ended it because I wasn't happy and I found the girl of my dreams. but yeah thats really good, I wish I could write like that.
2006-12-08 07:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by eclipsefreak 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.....sad....I would give it a 10 though because it is very powerful emotionally......there are some spelling errors - spell check is always a must. You could probably be a very successful songwriter - have you ever given any thought to that? If not, you definitely should!!!
2006-12-08 07:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by yakimaniacs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i THINK IT IS A 10,,,,but i wonder if the poem is about you?????
Is this how you really feel or were you just writing to write????
I think you have a real good talent, you need to brush up on your spelling, and pronounciation of words,,,,but i think it is real good!!!!
it's actually sad to think that someone feels that lonely and sad about themselves,,,and like they don't belong,,,
everyone belongs and everyone is special in thier own way,,,it doesn't matter what others think,,,and with age we learn that,,,and it does get easier as we get older,,,people say it gets harder,,,but it doesn't,,,,
and if someone doesn't see someone for who they are,,,they aren't worth the tears and pain,,,
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WRITING,,,KEEP IT UP,,,,
AND I TRULY HOPE THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU,,,,
IF IT ISN'T,,,YOU ARE A VERY CREATIVE PERSON,,BECAUSE YOU JUST SAID HOW HALF OF THE WORLD FEELS EVERYDAY,,,,,
DAPHNE
2006-12-08 08:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by Daphne F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it! 8 out of 10. Its catchy.
btw I never give 10/10 - always room for improvement
2006-12-08 07:50:37 · answer #7 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i give it 8 i don't believe in perfection!
but i like the subject but don't worry if he does not care then he is not worth it trust me i was in your place in the bast and when i confronted her she was not the person i thought she was, no one knows any one until you live with them or get extremely close, and i don't mean sexually
see what i write and tell me what you think?
www.khfreturns.blogspot.com
2006-12-08 07:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by kfh4497650 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'd say, she sounds pretty suicidal and needs therapy, but atleast the poem rhymed.
2006-12-08 07:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good poem, expressive! I would say its a 10.
2006-12-08 07:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋