2006-12-07 23:10:22 · 6 answers · asked by Jimmy H 4 in Food & Drink ➔ Other - Food & Drink
Toenails were invented by Adolf Hitler in 1433 at the advent of the Battle of Miami, fought between Christopher Columbus and the Pilgrims. On May 7th of the same year, Hitler's plans were thwarted when he dropped a 50-pound weight on his right foot. He then commenced research on android toenails and build himself bionic toenails out of wood, tar, and LED lights.In 1433 A.C., a man by the name of Adolph Hitler at the advent of the Battle of Miami, as stated above, invented the toenail. The general public has been wholly ignorant of this fact, as many patents have been filed with the U.S. patent office (a.k.a. Russia) for "toenails". However, Hitler's legacy of toe-shielding was verified by another man, whose name shall not be mentioned until later.
In 1466, after the War of Roses and Noodle Delivery Men, toenails sank into obscurity along with Michael Jackson and the Rap sub-culture. NSync, whose leading producer discovered an earthenware pot in Egypt in 1502, took up the seemingly "lost cause" of toenailery by hanging themselves with toenails in 1668. After their untimely deaths, NSync took toenailery to new heights by being the first humans ever to achieve flight without the aid of anything but toenails. The mysterious verification individual mentioned before, whose name was Ginger Bradley, then appeared in a puff of smoke, and dissappeared, never to be seen again until the Great Pacifying of the Whales in 1883.
Toenails today are a common household product, not only shielding toes but keeping children safe from diseases such as malaria, pneumonia, E-Coli, F-Coli, G-Coli, and the Common Cold. You can purchase toenails from any department store, and ventures into Toenail Fashion Clothing are being made in the clothing and dentistry industries.
2006-12-07 23:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Came included in the package.
2006-12-08 07:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by ElOsoBravo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I think we can all thank God (or your personal preference of higher power/ultimate being) for that one...
2006-12-08 07:15:37 · answer #3 · answered by Maddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares? They're so damn delicious!
2006-12-08 07:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by x. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say God did...... ;>
2006-12-08 07:23:22 · answer #5 · answered by raney1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jebus.
2006-12-08 07:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by SATAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋