I have been in a relationship for one year. We are not married and I'm 9 weeks prgnt not planed. I have two grown boys from a different relationship. I don't get to see their father at all and once in a blue we communicate on the phone. My partner has strong negative issues with my oldest son and is very concerned about having to deal with my childrens father and is not ready for commitment with me and be a family. He feels pressured and unstable. He is not at all happy about bringing a baby into this world at this point in our lives. He is willing to assume responsibility for the baby but as for us he says time will tell. I don't want to be a single mom again. It has been very difficult for me raising two boys alone. Im very scared. I know I should of been more carefull but its too late for that. I am concidering an abortion but it is really hard. Especially that I do care for him a great deal. He cares to but not enough for a family. What do I do?
2006-12-07 22:45:24 · 7 answers · asked by empty 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First, dump the current interest. Sounds like he's got ALOT of issues and you would be better off alone than with someone who's 'Mr. Right- now'. From what you wrote, it seems like your relationship is one-way right now and you can do better than settling.
Second, consider giving the child up for adoption. Its not the baby's fault you used bad judgement and shouldn't have its life ended because you're not ready/ able to be a mother again. There are many people who are unable to have kids and would provide loving homes for a baby.
Talk to some people about options other than abortion. Having one will weigh on your conscience for the rest of your life.
2006-12-07 23:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by Tough Love 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, do NOT give the death penalty to your child, as it is TOTALLY your irresponsible behavior that caused this. Its not like you didn't know it could happen, as you have made this "mistake" two times already in your past. Plus your son that you have should take priority over your new "partner". This guy sounds sort of unsure about even being in a relationship with you. I mean do you really want to be with someone who feels trapped with you because of a baby? I dare say that even if there were no pregnancy, this would not be a very hopeful relationship. I pray that you will consider giving this baby to a childless loving couple. I don't know how mothers can say "I could NEVER give up my own flesh and blood" , but they are willing to have it hacked to bits and sucked out. It makes NO sense. I think you should give up the baby, lose this man, get your tubes tied, and start fresh. Find someone who can't live without you, and adores you. NEVER settle for mediocre.
2006-12-08 00:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by Coco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't consider an abortion, its not worth it, you know in this critical time you should try to communicate with him lightly tel lhim that you're pregnant tell him how you feel about how you do't want to be a single mom again I'm sure he will understand completely. I'm sure he will take responsibility of the baby, but having you guys together in the babies life is also an important feature, I mean both of you guys as the mother and father of the baby should be in the babies life and you should make that clear... I know I probably didn't help much, but its hard advice.
2006-12-07 22:56:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get an abortion. I am a true believe everything is meant to happen for a reason. You have two older children that I sure that would help you out so you won't be a signle mom. But as far the boyfriend. Sometimes it takes time for people to come around. Don't rush or push him that is the worst thing you can do.
I hope everything goes well with you.
2006-12-07 23:47:28 · answer #4 · answered by juzzy1206 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you want to do? Dont think of what the others want or if you will be judged, think of what you want in life
Does your heart tell you to bring this baby into the world?
Have you outweighed the PRO's/CON's of bringing up another child ie: can you care, be there, love, provide for this child?
Dont have a baby for the sake of keeping the man, as sometimes this does not go to plan.
This has nothing to do with your ex or your children or your partner, this is about you.
Your partner needs to sit down and have a hard think, why cant he commit? what is he waiting for? what reasons are holding him back? is he in it for the fun?
If he cant support, understand and be there for you, then he isnt the one for you.
Ultimately, this baby if brought into world needs you.. and you need to decide, will you be the loving mum it needs?
Goodluck and sorry if this doesnt help you with your answer, but God Bless in whatever decision you come to.
2006-12-07 22:56:40 · answer #5 · answered by DeeDee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that can be quite simple, what to you care about more him, or having a baby, if its him have the abortion its not hard, us young girls do it, if its the baby u want go for it, my mum had a baby when i was 14 with no help from the dad.
2006-12-08 00:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give your baby up for adoption instead of having an abortion
get rid of your boyfriend he is worthless he sounds very
immature . if you keep your baby im sure your family
will help you alot.
2006-12-07 23:12:02 · answer #7 · answered by mama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋