i am in a new relationship,the guy seems OK,however i am so insecure ,because i feel like he is too much,why?

Question

i met this guy at the christmas end party,we work in the same area /University of Jozi,and he is very depandent,out spoken and he has a beautiful house,and his ex-girlfriends still tries to contact him,and he tells me at times although not the full strory,however i still think i dont meet his criteria,or the dream woman he wants,i am just an ordinary person with 1 child who lives an avarage life with a step mom who controlls my life,and i cannot be with him whenever he wants,because of my mom,and i have this feeling that he does not understand,so as a counselor i think i also have the fear of the unknown,and i am allowed to be scared because of my past unsucsessful relationships,so i think i need surgestions,because i know that i love him whole heartedly.My e-mail address is [e-mail]

Answer 1

I think you should go ahead with your relationship with this guy. At times, you get awed by the aura of your partner, which is perfectly fine.

You might think - "Am I fit for him?" But don't let such negative thoughts bog you down.

You shape your life. Just stick to him and get ahead with your life.

Answer 2

Girl! Wake up. I may not know what you look like but I'm telling you are platinum.
There is no reason why you should feel uncomfortable about your relationship with a guy. What I can tell you is to look for people who are more of your type. Not to say that you should go for someone you dont like just coz he's not '2 much', but be realistic when choosing a partner. This way, you will save urself a lot of heartache and silly insecurities. U r pure gold. Stay blessed!

Answer 3

YOU ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION, GIRL-YOUR PAST UNSUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS MAKES YOU FEEL INSECURE AND UNWORTHY OF HIS LOVE! THAT IS SOOOO WRONG WAY OF THINKING! EVERYBODY HAS VICES AND PROBLEMS, EVEN THAT GUY, THAT IS SOOOOOO PERFECT IN YOUR EYES! HE IS WITH YOU, ISN'T HE? THAT MEANS THAT HE DOESN'T SEE THE THINGS YOU POINTED OUT IN YOUR QUESTION AS YOUR PROBLEMS THE WAY YOU SEE THEM. STOP WORRYING ABOUT THAT YOU DON'T MEET HIS CRITERIA FOR A PERFECT WOMAN- AFTER ALL HE IS A GROWN UP PERSON, NOT A MAZOCHIST, AND IF HE DIDN'T WANT- HE WOULDN'T BE WITH YOU, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE! THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS TALK WITH HIM ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS BUT DO IT ONCE- NOT ALL THE TIME. IF YOU KEEP ON POINTING OUT YOUR INSECURITIES, HE WILL REALLY START WONDERING WHY THEY ARE SUCH A PROBLEM FOR YOU AND MAYBE HE WILL START BELIEVING YOU. YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF DESPITE OF ALL YOUR PROBLEMS AND INSECURITIES! LOVE HIM THE WAY YOU DO, BE SELF-CONFIDENT- MEN LIKE THAT IN A WOMAN. PUT THE PAST BEHIND YOU, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS- THE PAST. DON'T LET ANYONE MESS WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP- YOUR MOM OR ANYTHING ELSE. IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO BE AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN, BUT REMEMBER THAT ALL THE THINGS WE KNOW NOW, ONCE WERE NEW AND UNKNOWN ALSO. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PAST WAS OR HOW MUCH YOU THINK OF YOURSELF AS "AVERAGE"!
IF YOU WANNA TALK- GO TO MY 360 PAGE AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY MESSENGER. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

I think that you are selling yourself short. Don't be intimdated and believe that you have alot to offer. There are plenty of successful people with lots of money that are not happy. Money does not mean happiness. He is dating you for a reason and if you told him about your situation and you were honest with him then you have nothing to fear. One bad relationship in the past is not the end of the world. Lady, good things happen to good people and this might be a good thing happening to you. Be honest with him about your situation and be CONFIDENT IN yourself. Don't think for once that his ex is better than you because he dumped her for a reason and don't think that you having a child is a negative because children are a blessing from God. You have plenty to offer. Keep your head up because confidence is very attractive. stay the good person that you are with values, confidence and a good personality and even if this does not work out you should still believe in YOURSELF. good luck

Answer 5

I'm going to assume you are over the age of 18. Forgive me if i'm wrong. You are an adult, please do NOT let your mother control your life. Mine is trying to do the same with me, and i'm not having it (i'm 21) If you let her control what you do, and make HER happy, you are not making yourself happy, and YOU come first in your life. No one else...

I have 1 son myself, so I understand what you are feeling. I've meet this amazing man to!! (aren't men great!!) And, well he was married before, and still talks to his ex (which she KNOWS he is off the market, and always asks how me and my son are doing) Well, I confesed to him that I was jealous...so he reassured me that he wanted nothing to do (romance wise) with his ex, and she was that way for a reason....

Don't worry about "meeting his criteria" if you didn't meet it, you wouldn't be dating. You are already his dream woman!! This is what women get stuck in there minds, that we have to compete with his past. We don't, they are a past for a reason. So we shouldn't focus on that, and pour ourselves 100% into the men in our lives. You sound so much like me, i swear we could be sisters!! ha ha..But, don't be jealous about his past. If he didn't date his ex, then he wouldn't be the way he is. I had to accept that, just as my boyfriend accepted my son as his own, even though it clearly isnt.

Now about your past, he is not your past. It's going to take some time to repair that, but he is not your past. He is a new man, with new traits and good qualities!! You should talk about your fears, so they are no longer unknown!! And when you do that, you then have NOTHING to fear ^_^. I wish you the best of luck!!!

Answer 6

You're a counselor and yet you allow your step mother to dictate your life? This is not good for any relationship or for your child

Answer 7

Don't go for serious relation. Just have fun with hem and that is enough.

Answer 8

if he is with you then you more than meet his standards. all real men know that they arent good enough for the woman they have.

Answer 9

You love him wholeheartedly ..

oohs.. take a chance take a chance
on life