I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5yrs now. For the past, year or so we've been doing a long distance thing on & off, like we'll see each other for 1 month, then not see each other for 3, then be together again for 6 months & so on. Lately we've been arguing so much,he is always accusing me of lying to him. For example, last night I was @ my work xmas party and when I was leaving I looked @ my phone & saw a text from him,which I replied to,after replying I put my phone in my pocket, and while it was there he had tried to call me, but I didn't hear it ringing, he then thought I was up to sumthing, but clearly I wasn't, all I was doing was getting to the station in a hurry so I don't miss the last train.
This isn't the 1st time this has happened, he's always accusing me of lying to him, when i'm not, He says he trusts me but why is he doing this? What do you think I should do? I do love him & don't want it to end but I can't handle it anymore!
2006-12-07 21:05:42 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BEING SO DISTRUSFUL TOWARDS U COULD BE A SIGN OF INSECURITY THAT HE IS EXPERIENCING AT SOME POINT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. IF YOU REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE FROM HIM, AND HE STILL DOEN'T WANT TO BELIEVE YOU, THERE'S NOTHING MORE YOU CAN DO TO CONVINCE HIM. THE WORST OPTION IS THAT HE HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE FROM YOU:A LIE OR MAYBE AN AFFAIR AND THAT MAKES HIM ACT IN THAT STRANGE WAY. YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS- THAT'S NOT A DAY OR TWO AND BY NOW HE SHOULD KNOW YOU AND TRUST YOU. TRY TALKING TO HIM ABOUT IT AND FIND OUT WHAT IS HE AFRAID OF AND IS THERE SMTH IN YOUR BEHAVIOUS THAT MAKES HIM DOUBT YOU.
2006-12-07 21:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by Stella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I really empathise with ur situation. It's a really difficult one to be in. I can't really give expert advice, as I've never been in this type of situation before.
All I can offer you is this: Before you rush into doing anything rash, talk to him, find out why he believe's that you are doing things behind his back, ask him why he's always accusing you. It's clearly obvious that he's paraniod for some reason, he's got several anxieties/issues that he has to work out & that he's feeling insecure in your relationship for some reason. The reason I'm saying this, is because maybe he's had a bad experience in the past, when he's been in a relationship (before he met you) and his (then) partner cheated on him, so he's finding it difficult to trust anyone else again. Maybe it's coz he's scared that you'll do the same thing as his previous partner, & leave him 4 someone else. That's all I can offer for now, and I'll say again, please, please don't do anything rash, that you might regret in the future. Hope you manage to work things out with him. Cazzie -x-
2006-12-07 21:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by Cazzie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has trust issues and is unconfident in himself. I used to be like this but only cos my ex was a cheat. Obviously theres something worrying him. Perhaps hes worried hes gonna lose you because of the long distance. Ive done long distance and its hard cos youve got to constantly reassure each other. Even if your relaihonship is strong there will always be that niggling thought in theback of your mind that something cud go wrong or the other will meet someone else. You need to reassure him a lot and keep reassuring him.
OR
If hes becoming moody for no reason and puts blame on you for stuff a lot, it could be hiw way of trying to get you to brake up with him perhaps? Just trying to look at this from different perspectives.
2006-12-07 22:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet, I think you guys need to sit down and be as honest with each other as you are being in your posting. Then if you are both satisfied that you can move on meeting each other's needs, great...if not, then maybe there's a plan to make it better or maybe it's time to have some space and decide what's best for each of you. 5 Years is a lot of love and history...you guys deserve a crack at being happy together x
2006-12-07 21:23:29 · answer #4 · answered by basement_chix 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't like living like this now what will happen in 10 years or so when you have 2 children a mortgage and other out goings,trying to work, run the house an then him acting jealous and possessive Believe me he wont change because that is his personality. Personally I would get out now and find someone you are more compatible with
2006-12-07 21:29:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there must have been some thing that made his suspicious. Either you or he him self is doing some thing. I mean he is involved in another relationship and he may be thinking that you are doing the same thing. You should try to find out what made him to act like this. Be polite and be convincing while talking to him. You should aviod talking him in the time he is angry. You can sort this out by talking.
Good Luck!
2006-12-07 21:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that he is making his problems yours. I'd say that it was down to a lack of self esteem and that is why he is currently doubting you.
Confidence is very important to an individual who is involved in a relationship and I'd say that maybe, through no fault of your own perhaps, he is feeling a little undervalued or indeed vulnerable.
It's not necessarily you that has caused or aided this but if he was happy with himself, then he's so much more likely to be content and trusting towards you.
2006-12-07 21:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were in ur situation i will fix one day to sit and relax in a peaceful environment , first to bring out some good topics to change his mood and when he is in good mood tell him how u feel and if he ask u also some thing give him clear answer that u were in that situation dont worry i think he loves u so much but the only problem between 2 of u is lack of communication.
2006-12-07 21:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by daisy d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why worry so much? If i were you, i would just end the relationship. I can't bring myself to continue loving the guy if he always accuses me and don't have enough quality time with me. I would rather find something meaningful to do. That's just my suggestion. As for you, listen to your heart and it will tell you what you should do.
2006-12-07 21:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by Daffodil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He clearly doesnt trust you for some reason. Either he is insecure or he may not believe you love him as much as love you and is afraid of losing you. Have you cheated on him before?
I m only answering this question as I need the points.
2006-12-07 21:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋