What does depression feel like?

Question

Someone very close to me has been diagnosed with depression. I want to understand what he's going through. Can someone please explain it to me? I've read about it, but that hasn't helped. Serious answers only please

Thank you so much for all the replies. I am totally shocked by what I have read. I was totally ignorant before. I hope you have helped me to help him. I am so sorry for anyone who has experienced this horrible condition

Answer 1

The thing that really identified my depression to my doctor was my going to him complaining of "feeling really ill" but with no specific symptoms. It was only when he suspected and started to ask me if I ever though of suicide.... and I answered all the time... that I actually came to the realisation myself that these thoughts weren't "normal". I had become so consumed with negative thoughts and feelings that they had become the norm, so I didn't realise. There was this black feeling inside me... right in my guts... that it seemed only killing myself would stop.

People say why don't you discuss this with you wife and family, but talking about killing yourself to people you love never goes down well. "They always think it's about them". Like many people when you broach the subject with friends and family them seem to think "well you can't love me very much then".... and that's not what it's about. So please PLEASE don't judge your friend. it doesn't help.

The thinng is that you think of yourself as worthless, continually mentally punishing yourself for things you do wrong. I felt "detatched from real life"- like I was a spectator, and I woud frequently "cry for no reason" (or laugh uncontrollably). Seeking solace I would overeat, and then hate myslef for being overweight. It feels like everyone has it in for you, and you feel nothing excites you any more.

We all feel some these some things from time to time (feel low), but it's when many of them are felt for a long period you need to seek medical assistance.

A course of SSRI's put me right in 6 months. I still have the odd "bad day" but like I said , we all have those

Answer 2

When you're depressed you feel really horrible. I'd compare it to the way you feel after someone close to you dies, but when you're depressed there is not necessarily an obvious reason why you feel like this (for example nobody died or anything that bad happened recently but you still feel that way and might not even know why) and it can last much longer than when you're going through sorrow. You feel really bad emotionally, you cry easily (and sometimes for no apparant reason). You have a hard time bringing yourself to do anything at all. Simple things that are generally easy for a healthy person can become very difficult for a depressed person. Simply getting yourself out of bed or taking a shower or cleaning can be very difficult when you're depressed. You just can't seem to bring yourself to do those things, you just don't see the point, because you feel endlessly hopeless and miserable. If the depression gets very serious you get suicidal thoughts and can't think rationally at all, you become sure that you are good for nothing and nobody loves you and that everyone will be better off if you just kill yourself. Once you reach that stage you can't think straight at all.

It's hard for someone who has never been depressed to understand what it's like, it's one of those things you can't fully understand until you experience it first hand, but I hope this description helps explain it to you a little. Depression is a very hard illness. Please support that person as much as you can, he really needs it. I hope he will get treatment and feel better soon.

Answer 3

Very often the depressed person doesn't realise they have a problem. Feelings vary, but the most common ones will be lack of self esteem, feeling worthless, don't want to do anything, go anywhere, or see anybody, even not washing or eating properly, or maybe drinking too much to take the pain away. Often tearful. Everything is too much to cope with. There's a feeling of total hopelessness and uselessness, and that nobody cares, so why bother, the worst one will be thoughts of suicide.

Apart from counselling and medication, the support of family and friends is a great help. It is so good that you are there for him, make sure he knows it and take one step at a time, it takes patience and encouragement to think and do something positive each day, however small. Maybe drawing or painting will help, it is often used in therapy.

Answer 4

How much time do you have?

Depression is a state of mind that can be triggered by an event or a sequence of events.

A death in the family, financial strain, divorce. Or series of events that gradually send you into a dark hole. Stress at work, unbearable pressure, making you feel like giving up - so much so that when you come to do the things that you enjoy, the things that normally give you a lift, you no longer have the time or energy for.

You become either aggressive or very passive. You don't want to mix with others, you get the feeling that you are boring people and that they don't want you around them with your dark cloud above you. You argue with your loved ones, you become very self-centred and self -pitying.

As time goes on you become even more morose, you talk to yourself, you go to church thinking you can pray your way out of your depths of despair. Life is like climbing a greasy pole, one step forward, three steps back - getting nowhere.

But the only person who can help you is you. You have to make life-changing decisions. The pills work for a time but in the long term it is up to you. Go to the GP, organise yourself some councelling, get help, don't be afraid.

It is a common illness in this day and age of high flying and the pressure that goes with it - unfortunately!

The biggest worry is once you are out of it, is the fear of return. This in itself can cause you a problem, so continue the councelling till you are clear about everything.

I've been there - it is horrible!

I hope I was of help.

Answer 5

Hey there, I can't tell you about other people, but I suffered from depression for over a decade. So here's how I felt.

I felt sad. Not the 'oh gee, that hallmark commercial was sad' type of thing, a deep sadness that went through my entire body. Sometimes I wanted to die and other times I felt disconnected and like I already was dead. Some days I couldn't get out of bed because it didn't seem like it could be worth it. I felt like nobody cared about me, no matter what I did it wouldn't matter to anyone or even myself. I hated myself and couldn't understand that others were concerned about me. I was suicidal; I thought I would be better off dead, and that everyone I knew would be better off and happier without me.

I didn't know what was wrong. There was no real reason most days, to feel the numbness and nothingness. I should have been happy, but I wasn't; I didn't feel like I could be. It's like...losing your best friend every day, over and over and over again. Lost, alone, angry, sad, numb. Apathetic.

I don't know if that helps. Keep in mind I had PTSD and an anxiety disorder as well as the depression, so some of my symptoms I might have overlooked and/or added in symptoms of my other disorders. Every person is different too.

Answer 6

One thing is to have a depressive personality and a different one to feel depressed under certain circumstances - death of a loved one, special problems.
I went through depression once. I remember that I woke up already tired. Even thinking on what clothes will I wear was a terrible decison.
I did not even care to pay the bills ( although I had the money ) because I thought it was useless.
I knew I had to do something with my life and tried to do sports everyday and some meditation . Working was a greal help, too.
The most difficult moment was starting to do any of these activities, once I began the rest was easier.
However, I understand that escaping from this hole may be different for each one of us.

Answer 7

Like there is so much anger and hurt inside that never really goes away, it just goes into hiding for a while. Like there is nothing to be hopeful about. As if life is an endurance test rather than something that can be enjoyable. That you would be better off dead. Like there is little point to living. That you have no energy to do anything. Tearful all the time. Wanting to withdraw and shrink away from the world. That very little actually matters. That you or you life does not really matter. And then some.

Answer 8

It feels different for everyone but....

It's more than feeling blue or sad. It inteferes with your ability to function at your usual level. For some it can lead to thoughts of harming themselves or others. It has a tendency to go hand in hand with low self esteem. It can affect you physically. You may find it hard to sleep, sleep too much or wake early and not be able to go back to sleep. You may lose your appetite or start eating a lot more (bingeing or comfort eating). You may lose interest in things you used to enjoy. Lack of concentration is another symptom. You may experience all, none or some of these; like I said, everyone is different.
For me it's been feelings of worthlessness, despair, desperation, hopelessness, helplessness, guilt, shame and a whole lot more. It made me feel like a failure. Anger and jealousy have also played a big part.
Trying to explain how it feels is incredibly difficult and can be frustrating for those trying to help - famil, friends and professionals. I often sat in therapy and the only thing I could tell her when she asked how I felt was "s*it", because that is how it feels. It may seem inadequate but it actually sums it up pretty well.

I hope that makes some kind of sense

Answer 9

Depression is feeling lost in a world that doesn't seem to make sense any more. It is feeling disconnected from everything and everyone. Imagine that suddenly the world you are familiar with and that you belong in is replaced by an unknown alien place. No one and nothing is familiar. You are lost and alone. It is horrendous. Don't underestimate how absolutely alone and despairing a depressed person might feel. Don't expect them to know what is making them feel bad, just being in the world is enough pain when you are depressed. Medication does help but most anti depressants take between 2 and 4 weeks to kick in.

Answer 10

it is very hard to describe without actually being depressed, but when you are depressed you feel hopeless, and useless, and you feel your life has no purpose or meaning and nothing you can do makes sense or contributes to society. Imagine a sadness that never seems to end. You can read the clinical explanation in the DSM-III or IV that is the manual for diagnosing mental disorders. If you want to help the person just be with them, don't try to fix their problems just be a friend and listen.

Answer 11

Depression is a very difficult thing to explain. I have been told i have depression. The way i feel can be different from the next.

Altho depression can make someone feel they are alone, no-one cares, blame there-selfs for everything. In generally people are very low. The way i have decided to deal with it is with no medication, i am slowly now trying to deal with it.

The main thing i can say to you is be there for that person, whatever you do dont force them to talk, just be there to listen when they do talk. Make sure when they do talk you try to understand and if you dont ask them to explain a wee bit more if they dont leave them for a wee bit.

I am slowly coming around to talking more openly but it is one of the hardest things i do. The people that helped me the most are my friends there are so much easier to talk to and one knows what i am like and goin through. Some of my family know but not all of them.

One thing i will say is it has to be in their time. please be patient with them.