i have very strong feelings for a woman i have known for a few years...she is now finally single but not ready for another relationship...she knows how i feel about her....she said she is not saying yes or no....i told her i think she is worth waiting for but she has been really hurt...and doesnt want to trust anyone again...she is also "married" to her job so i dont hear from her as much as i would like...i hate to see her hurting too...do i wait? do i walk away? she is worth waiting for but its killing me that i cant be with her....help!!
2006-12-07 20:10:40 · 14 answers · asked by kiwitboi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hi there ....here is a bit of advice that might help you with this this lady that you are talking about has been so badly hurt that she is giving herself plenty of time to sort her head and heart out so that when she does decide to give a relationship another try she will be ready for that,and as being married to her job at the moment that is keeping her mind of having to deal with the hurt when she remembers sad times,look she knows that you are there for her and if you say that to her and make suure that you add that there is no pressure on her at all and even if you and her dont become an item you will both have a fantastic friendship together,why dont you invite her out for a meal and just spend time together ,as friends,she will move on but this is the hard bit of being patient with this lady,if you hang around and stay with this you never know where this will take you ......if you walk away now you will always wonder ....what if ......i think that you have nothing to lose but a lot of geat moments together....good luck and take care of this lady ......she needs a good friend like you xx
2006-12-07 20:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away, walk away, walk away!!! That might sound really harsh but i'm sure it is the best for you. You've known each other for years- if she liked you as much as you want her too she would have become single along time ago. i don't like the sound of her being 'married' to her job and that she can't 'trust anyone again' if you have been friends for years why can't she trust you. The fact that you don't hear from her as much as you would like is awful, and after too long of this going on you may realise that actually she isn't worth all the heartache. Basically she has all the power in this relationship which is never a good thing as far as you are concerned. You say its killing you that you can't be with her. Therefore walk away, if its meant to be she will come running back to you.
2006-12-07 20:56:35 · answer #2 · answered by elsie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to do is 'impress her'. And you can't do that if you don't know the things that would impress her. First, find out the things that she likes most - do them for her. You said she is too busy with her job, which means the most important thing in her life right now is her job, not even you, at least not yet. Then you have an opportunity; find out those things about her job that you could possibly help her out in, or you try to always discuss about career improvement using her's as a case study. You may not know much, but you can research and get useful inofrmation relating to improving on her career; I bet you she would love you for it. Don't always try to tell her how much you love her, she won't believe you because she has being through that and would believe that all men are the same. Instead show it. She would believe it more when you show it than say it. Don't try to spoil her with gifts, she would think you are trying to buy her over. Just be a nice and useful friend for now and watch things from there. I hope this helps.
2006-12-07 20:42:50 · answer #3 · answered by Chimex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"She know how you feel"...
Have you actually told her how you feel? If not tell her. If so tell her again. Letters are old fashioned, but really good in the they help you to get everything laid out clearly without the pressure of the moment or interruptions that can side track the telling.
Then having told her..... get on with your life. She'll either come around (great) or not, but too many people waste their lives (and whittle their emotions) on the prospect of relationships that are never going to happen. You may not think there could be anyone else for you right now. But who knows.
2006-12-07 20:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After break up women dont like jumping into another relationship right away you should have given her time to heel and dont approach her as a lover but as a friend that way you will gain her trust and after you have been friend for a while and she has trusted you enough you can then take your relationship to the next level.
2006-12-07 20:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by auntsid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is the best time to be with her. If she doesn't want to hang out with you send feelers that you understand what she is going through and you are not forcing yourself on her. She needs somebody now to comfort her and assure her that she will still be loved. You can continue to send her flowers,anything to make her feel bright.
Don't force the issue. If she came from a bad marriage-worse coz she still has to go through a lot of paperworks. If she is coming from a break-up you will still have to wait for some time for her wounds to heal,and it might take a long time.
Men are easier to cope with bad break-ups b ut women are different. I have caddied women friends out of deppression for a long time and I tell iyou it is not easy. Just be there all the time. Drink if she likes to drink. Walk in the park if you have to.even if it bores you to death, when you signs of recovery then dictate the tempo. Take her to places where she can forget her past and work on your future.
In the meantime,just be a friend,a very good one, and chances are if she looks for a replacement it is going to be YOU!
2006-12-07 20:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by wolfass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are your worst enemy.
That being said, focus on being there for her and gaining her trust. Because of her background, this will take alot longer to achieve. If your feelings are true though, just being yourself will be enough.
Also note, if she is "married" to her job, this would suggest she could be "hiding" her head in the sand from any more social commitments.
2006-12-07 20:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by spdbunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
act fast my nooby ninja
you must find a way to get past the gaurds and through the metal doors and find a scroll which will tell you that you must give her romance before the candle blows out on her.
a mighty ninja once told me a nooby ninja thinks like a noob
2006-12-07 20:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is it going to kill you less to wait a little awhile longer? Don't make any decisions right now. Set a date for YOURSELF as to how long you are going to wait around, and then if she doesn't come around by then move on-
2006-12-07 20:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by jaye580 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't spoil ur young by waiting for her find another one date.
because all women have the same things but the size may vary depending the person.
2006-12-07 20:18:56 · answer #10 · answered by chandran mohan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋