Is it ok to stop talking to him?

Question

I'm tired of this guy giving me mixed signals. He acts like he really likes me one minute, then the next he gets cold. We talk a lot, but never outside of the coffee place we work at or off of msn messenger. I've tried to get him to spend time with me in person in a non-coffee-brewing situation, but I was turned down twice because he had 'plans'. I'm pretty sure those plans were to spend all day alone playing video games.

I don't want him to think I'm a *****, especially since we work together and it'd be awkward, but I'm seriously thinking of just not talking to him anymore except when I have to. I don't intend to be rude...if he talks to me first I'll be as polite as can be, but I'm not going to start conversations anymore unless it's about who cleaned out the machines last night, y'know? lol

He gives off all the signs he likes me short of asking me out, but he wont spend time with me in person, except of course the days he's suddenly cold to me.

So will he think I'm doing this because his most recent decline to hang out was a few days ago? Or think I've turned into a mood-swingy *****? Or will he get the idea that I don't want to be toyed with?

Answer 1

It sounds like this guy doesn't know what he wants. What he is doing isn't fair to you. Don't leave yourself open to anymore of these mixed signals. Talk to him, but I would keep it reserved to work issues only....but be nice about it (work ethics involved here). He already gives you the cold shoulder at times, so if he is offended by your protecting your own emotions then I simply wouldn't worry what he thinks about it if I were you.

Answer 2

If this guy is serious then I would think he would take the time to get together outside of work. I am not saying that he didn't have plans but if he can't take the initiative then you probably would be better off staying away and keeping it strictly a work relationship. Trying to get together with someone you work with is also not a good idea. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I think playing the ignore game and being as polite as possible is a good thing. Guys tend to want what they can't have. Plus it's really hard to come in between a man and his video games. If you want to really impress him try and find out what game he plays and learn to play it yourself. As a computer i think there is nothing hotter than a girl who can beat me or even keep up with me at my own game.

Answer 4

i don't think you should act rude (i know you said you wouldn't), but maybe act differently so he'll hopefully get the hint that you're not liking his mixed signals. i always read in magazine articles written by guys say that when they like a girl, they'll make themselves available and make the time to hang out with the girl.

Answer 5

i would say talk to him... but not excessively-- like a little small talk here and there-- and act like he's your brother.. talk to him like it doesn't mean anything, and then if HE asks to hang out tell him you have date-- not just that you're busy, specificully tell him you have a date-- even if it's just a date with your couch and a movie... cuz he won't know what to do, then if he thinks you're dating around he'll want to hang out more and more.... blow him off a couple times-- and if he's still trying to kick it... give in at the last minute

Answer 6

Your plan sounds good to me.He is sending mixed signals but ignoring him nicely is no mixed signal.You go girl!

Answer 7

What's wrong with just being friendly? I don't see why you have to go directly from flirty to cold. If you don't think he's interested, just be his friend.

Answer 8

He'll get the idea that it done got old.Dont look back.

Answer 9

****! That is marriage!!! U rule, remember that.