...reason why i am asking this is cause one of the parents is worried that its going to hurt the 12 yr old that there is not going to be a mom and dad anymore.But what about the step-parents?Step-parents make the best parent some times. one of the parent's is afraid how to tell the son that there is going to be a step-parent cause the son has already said he didnt want a step-parent.he's still young, dont u agree? the son will get over it, thats a fact.kids who have grown up and been thru this situation are free to respond.
2006-12-07 18:49:30 · 9 answers · asked by Peaches 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was in this situation. I loved my step mother. I felt like it was easiear to talk to her when I got to the age when I started thinking about boys and things like that. Now I have a step-daughter. Her mother is not very happy about this. We all went to school together so I know her on a personal level. It's never easy to have your parent re-marry but that's a part of life. The parents can't stop their lives to make the child happy. He is a child and needs to be told what is going on. Explain to him that things weren't working so there is time for a change. Talk to him and make sure you let him talk too.
Good luck
2006-12-07 18:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by nessa c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing that I am a child whose parents divorced when I was 6-years-old, I have been through the process myself.
Step 1 would to tell the child that you love it very much, but sometimes things are not meant to be. Do not believe that the child will agree with this at first; in hard times we see no logic, neither do children.
Second step with regards to step-parents, it is only natural that a child does not want a replacement of its parents and in that sense will fight it every step of the way. It hurts to know that your parents don't like one another anymore, but with an arrival of a step-parent it is only natural that this frustration and pain is target at the step parent. I will not say that the parents should not find new spouses, however, if the
step-parent want to be liked and get on with the kid, it is necessary for he or she to be the nice person in the household. I once had a step-mother who picked on me constantly, and I build up so much frustration with her actions, which I then blamed on my father, which means that him and I hardly speak anymore because of then.
At the same time I have a step-father who has been of the greatest inspiration to me, and he plays a larger than proportional role in the person that I have developed into. He shaped who I am, and I am very thankful that he is in my life, however, our relationship has also been stained in the last couple of years as he has been strongly disagreeing with some points in my life.
I guess the best advice I can give, beside the fact that it sounds like you already decided that someone new should enter the family, is to let the step-parent at worst have a neutral role. The bond between parents and children is not the same as step-parents and children, so the step-parent should be the positive and open person... to an extend a friend rather than a parent, seeing that child already has two parents.
2006-12-07 19:03:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thinking the truth that i'm a toddler whose mom and father divorced even as i replaced into 6-years-previous, I were with the help of the technique myself. Step a million ought to to inform the youngster that you want it very a lot, yet each and every so often issues are literally not meant to be. do not believe that the youngster will trust this before everything; in troublesome situations we see no common sense, neither do toddlers. 2d step on the issue of step-mom and father, that is in elementary words organic that a toddler does not opt for a alternative of its mom and father and in that experience will strive against it each and every step of ways. It hurts to do not forget that your mom and father don't like one yet another anymore, yet with an arrival of a step-determine that is in elementary words organic that this frustration and discomfort is objective on the step determine. i am going to't say that the mummy and father might want to not discover new spouses, although, if the step-determine opt for to be loved and get on with the youngster, that is major for he or she to be the nice human being interior the loved ones. I once had a step-mom who picked on me consistently, and that i strengthen a lot frustration including her moves, which I then blamed on my father, which means that him and that i infrequently talk anymore because of then. at the same time I have a step-father who has been of the most excellent thought to me, and he performs a larger than proportional position interior the guy that I have stepped ahead into. He formed who i'm, and that i'm very grateful that he's in my existence, although, our courting has also been stained interior the severe couple of years as he has been strongly disagreeing with some factors in my existence. i wager the perfect suggestion i am going to provide, beside the actual shown truth that it appears like you already determined that someone new might want to enter the kinfolk, is to enable the step-determine at worst have a impartial position. The bond between mom and father and toddlers isn't a similar as step-mom and father and toddlers, so the step-determine must be the constructive and open human being... to an enlarge a pal somewhat than a determine, thinking the truth that child already has 2 mom and father.
2016-11-30 07:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. It may not be easy for him to understand, and it may not be easy to tell him, but the truth is always the best. I would be much more traumatic if he later found out he was lied to, or if he doesn't know why his parents are separating he may start to blame it on himself which most people agree is the worst thing that could happen.
2006-12-07 19:02:54 · answer #4 · answered by tisbod5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are worried when their parents divorce. They worry about their future and what will happen to them. You have to make sure that they understand that the divorce has nothing to do with the father-child or mother- child relationship.
They need reassurance from their parents. They need to know that they won't lose one parent. They will win a new parent!
2006-12-07 19:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its really all a matter of how the kid deals once it happens, some of them never get over it, and some breeze through it like nothing happened, most are somewhere in between. a new step family right away will be very hard though.
2006-12-07 18:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him to make his parents unite for his better future!
boys at age 12ys are old enough to solve these kinda issue.
tell him that his parents are gonna get divvosed n ask for solution from himself!
2006-12-07 21:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by jazzyt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tuffy......Yeah...He will be hurt..(May sound harsh..but it's true). ..and it will take a lot of time for everybody to get readjusted......Some counseling would be a good idea....I'll put a website below that can probably help on that front....
2006-12-07 19:01:29 · answer #8 · answered by Chief Paduke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell the child the truth. Tell him everyone loves him but the adults want to live separately and have another love, which has nothing to do with the love they feel for him
2006-12-07 18:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋