Being a mom what do you think? Dad's feel free to answer too if you want!?

Question

I am a mom to a 14-month old little boy and I am married to what I consider the great love of my life. Here is my questions I am requesting personal experience, honesty on the highs and low's of motherhood as well.

Do you like being a mom? Do you have days that are great, terrible, and are there times when you actually regret being a mom...even in an instant wether you seriously mean it or not. What age so far has been the best for you raising your children?

I love my son and I would never want to "not" have him in my life ever. He has enriched it to a different degree that has led me to achieve unlimited love that I thought I never had.

I however will admit honestly that there are days where I just do not want to deal with him, wish he was not in the same house as me and even briefly think of life befor motherhood....I never hate my child I do however get stressed sometimes as a direct cause of his behaviour...but i get over and deal.

What do you guys think or do ?

Answer 1

You have just asked the 'secret question'.
You are absolutely 100% correct. There are days when parents dont particularly 'like' their children. Of course we still 'love' them, but a screaming, smelly, selfish toddler can sometimes be pretty difficult to like!!!!
Why do we as mothers pretend that this is not the reality?
Why do we lie to each other?
Of course it is tough. Life was of course so much simpler without this appendage, but catch 22 - we adore them. We want to protect them above all else. We spend every cent we have on them. We spend every second in our lives worrying/thinking/praying for them. In truth it is exhausting.
You, are going through a very difficult stage with your son. 14 months old - he cant talk, and is probally very frustrated at the lack of communication. He is probally trying to be independant in all things. You must be exhausted.
But I tell you what, you will bawl your eyes out on his first day of school! I did.
Yes its tough. Oprah calls it the 'toughest job in the world'. And she's right.
The highs ; school concerts, when they can say "I love you", when they behave and make you proud, sleeping, first steps, when they remember something you've taught them, laughter, birthdays, Christmas, unrequited (and often undeserved) love from them to you, hugs, sloppy kisses, when they get out of the bath and they are all clean, when they make you something, cuddles,
The lows ; that age when they put yuck stuff in their mouths, temper tantrums, sickness, screaming, lying, when they hit other children, fighting with their siblings, high pitched screams, you not being able to go to the toilet without being disturbed. The list goes on.
Good on you for asking this question. I applaud your honesty.
I am now about to send my third and final child off to full time school. I cry at the finality of it, but rejoice coz I now get alone time. Its motherhood. Good with the bad.
When I had 3 little ones I found solace in other mums. They encouraged, motivated and inspired me. Playgroup was a Godsend. Keeping them busy - at the park, library, indoor playground, swimming pool - was the key for me. Somehow their screams/tantrums/whatever never seemed as bad when we were outdoors!
I really pray all the best for you. I just want to tell you that you are absolutely, totally, completely NORMAL. All those Mums who will no doubt say "oh no I love every moment of every day with my children" are LYING. They are the ones who end up having nervous breakdowns. Or you later find out that they have maids and or nannies!

Answer 2

First of all, what you are feeling is perfectly normal -- and part of being a parent. Remember that these are really the best years of your own (and their) life -- when they are precious and irritating -- but have NOT hit those HORRIBLY Hormonal-Raging, irritating Bugger ages.

I can definitely speak from experience -- I was a Long-Term Single Parent to TWO disabled children -- and up until they started hitting the HORMONAL rush years (and the dating -- wow -- the "attitudes" then ....) ... although there were challenges, I could always find a way to deal with the challenges and guide them along in life.

It was the teenage years that really where things hit the fan (so to speak) from a parental point of view -- they have already seen (and heard) from their parent how to live life with respect, dignity, honesty and honor ... but now .. they KNOW that they will soon to be adults, and are stretching beyond the parent to somewhere - anywhere -- just that the parents are embarrassing (at best) ... and they perceive the parents as enemies (at worst). They get disrespectful, push every button you have, and then go for more ... they make decisions that are against the home rules (and show a lack of concern for their personal safety), they take chances, they either are fully responsible, or think that they are indestructible (which they are not). This is the time that they experiment (to the parents horror!) or the time that they respect the sacrifices we have made and be the persons we would want them to be (not too common).

Teenagers are VERY STRESSFUL -- more so than any other age. Then they hit 18, and push even more -- that is the time for us parents to say -- OK Birdie -- time to FLY from the nest -- you don't want to respect my home and my sacrifices, it is time for you to take your place as a Responsible Adult.

They make their own choices, and we, as parents, now have to do our own TOUGH LOVE -- and stand back and LET THEM MAKE Those Mistakes -- and take the CONSEQUENCES that go with the mistakes.

Answer 3

I think all parents have days when they would love to give there child/ren to someone for a day, but it's whether you would want them back or not which would define if you were a good mother. I have 2 sons (5 and 7 months) and can honestly say that yes, I would love a day off but thats it! There are times when i wish I could go shopping on my own, have a nap in the afternoon, go to an all night party or go away on a girls weekend but I simply can't. I never regret having my son's I know my life could never be as fulfullied as it is now. Just because we wish we had a little 'me-time' doesn't make us bad parents. But if my partner or parents were to ask if they could take them out for an entire day, I'd have their stuff ready to go before they could blink!

Relax.......you're just feeling like any other parent.

Answer 4

Yeah i feel the exact same sometimes. I love my child to bits but some days when he hasn't had enough sleep or has been up all night, I just feel so worn out and exhausted.

Motherhood is like everything else. You have your goods days and also your bad.

My son is 2 i probably say although this time has been the most difficult with the terrible twos and my son thinking he can get what he wants...this has been the best time so far. He is older, he knows what he wants and it is quite a fun stage. Although very hard and exhausting.

Answer 5

I personally only have one child so far, an 18 month old daughter, but I think that any parent who has never even had a split second of "oh lord why did I sign on for this again?" has the patience of a saint. Our latest incident was in the line for getting pictures with Santa....my darling child decided to play the "wet noodle game" I'm sure every parent is familiar with it. It was funny, adorable, sweet, and 100% maddening after about a minute. On top of the normal was the fact that every other parent's child was standing completely still and practically had a halo above their head while my child was being impish complete with her hair sticking up in little horns on each side of her head. Looking back it's hysterical and we got a great pic of Santa reading a book to her but at the time I thought we were a little pair of failures in a sea of perfection.

Answer 6

Wow! I would have to say that there are moments when I love being a mom and days that I don't really like it as much. But for the most of it I do love my kids and bieng their mother.
There are times when I wished I didn't have kids, however I don't really feel that way as much only sometimes when my husband doesn't let me go out with him because of a trust issue he has with others watching our kids.
Honestly, I don't really know which age is the best for raising kids. I had my two boys at a pretty young age (19 with my first). I do, however feel that there really is no age limit to what is considered the best age because it all boils down to one's support from friend's, family, and relatives.
At this time in life I admit that I wouldn't trade my kids in for anything in the world because I simply wouldn't know what to do without them.

Answer 7

You are just like the rest of us. I really feltthis way when my second child was born. She was nothing like my son. She would cry alot more and overall just a more "demanding" child than the first. There are times when both kids are being onery and getting on my last nerve, and I wish I could just run away but then I think who loves them more than me no one! (besides daddy) so I take a deep breath and head in again. I have never regreted becoming a mom its the best thing that has ever happened to me.. Hang in there, take lots of "mommy breaks" as I call them. Go to the store with out him (leave him with daddy or grandparents) Im not saying for hours on end but maybe just an hour. And I promise in that hour you will miss him and be more in love with him.

Answer 8

I've got four kids, and they run the gamut of personalities and behaviors.

Keep in mind that they are little mirrors and reflect your mood right back at you....

My 3rd child is 4 3/4 and has developed a tendency to shriek at the top of her lungs over the stupidest things. I think she's trying to get the dolphins to come rescue her. It makes me want to remove my ear drums. I cannot fully explain just how much I hate her when she does it. But if she manages to calm down, she can also be a sweet little thing.

Having kids isn't easy. It's not supposed to be. But it's worth it in the end - or at least I still believe it is - because you're able to mold and shape them in some ways, and if you do a good job, then you end up being quite proud of them, which seems to make all the shrieking and not wanting to be in the same hemisphere with them worth all the aggravation.

Answer 9

First let me start by telling you that everything your feeling is 100% normal. Most mommys feel this way at one point in time, but it just seems so taboo because it's so rarely talked about.
My son is 2 1/2. I love him more than i can put into words (as i'm sure you understand that) but there were times when i sat back and thought what my life would of been like had i not chosen life. Not to say if i could go back that I would of never had him. Because if I had to do it all over again, I would.(even the first 3 sleepless months!).
I am a single mommy. I had no help from his father. and there were days were I just felt like I couldn't handle it anymore, and wanted to just run away. But over time, the feelings became less and less frequent.
Most of these feelings happend in the begining. Here is this screaming stranger, that requires 24-7 attention. They don't hug you, or kiss you, or thank you. The first couple months are almost rewardless. I used to daydream about dropping him off at his fathers door, just for a day, so he could see what it was really like.
And then there's the first smile. (How cute are gums?!?!) And it became a little easier.The more he started doing, the more he became a person to me. He had likes and dislikes, (strong like for the cat's tail, not too big on the vaccume!) emotions other than hungry or wet, and a little personality. He was no longer a stranger to me.
Around one year, things got a little frustraing again. Because now he really knew how to express this personality again. (Temper tantrums in stores was the worst!) But it was easier to deal with than before. I knew what he was crying about while he cried, but also knew what could make him burst out laughing. He got into EVERYTHING! I couldn't take my eyes off him for a minute, much less sit down and rest. And that frustrated me big time. But I knew come night, after our ritual bath/massage/story time, that he would cuddle up in my arms, and put his head on my chest, and look up and smile at me, almost saying "thanks mom". And it made my day worth while.
Now I'm into the "terrible two's". And all I do is yell all day long "Don't you throw that!" "Don't you hit your cousin!" " I said NO!!!" There's a lot of time outs, alot of tears, and alot of frustration. But overwhelming all that is a lot of love. I know he's testing his limits. I know he's finding his place in the world And when I remeber this, it makes it so much easier. There are still days where I feel like I need a break, big time, or I'll end up in a psych center. But It's all part of being a mommy. If I didn't feel frustrated, I wouldn't be doing my job right.
It helps to know that these stages are just that: stages. I know that in a few months what drives me insane, he'll probably stop doing. And I also know there will just be something knew to drive me nuts. But, the taj mahal ( bad speller, sorry) wasn't built over night. And my son won't become perfect over night. It's going to take alot of time, hard work, and some mistakes along the way. But the results will be priceless.
I do love being a mommy. I feel like the dumb things our kids do now will be forgotten in the years to come. So let's cheer to being stressed out mommies of toddlers... because the teenage years will be here before we know it!!! (eeeaaakkkk!)


ps if you every need a mommy buddy to gripe to or some advice, e-mail me.

Answer 10

Its hard being a mom. I am a SAHM of a 2 year old and my husband is in Iraq. Its just me and her usually! I have my days!! Where she drives me insane!!! The best way for me has been to keep her on a scedual. Naps and bed time is what I look forward to! I get me time! Even if its cleaning, its all about me. Get involed in a play group. And if that isnt an option find time to just sit and color/ play blocks or watch his favorite cartoon.
I have had many days where I think I cant do this anymore. And days where I wanted to give up! But the joys of childhood are amazing! Make time for you, to be a good mommy you must be intouch with yourself.
Its the best and hardest job in the world! Goodluck to you!