My dad is on a venilator?

Question

My father has been on a venilator since last Saturday. The doctor don't see much hope in his survival, every time they try to see if he can breath on his own, his heart rate sky rockets, as well as his blood pressure, and his brain doesnt receive enough oxygen. My Dad, has told the family, that he only wants to be "kept" alive for two weeks. That means I have another week. The choice is basically up to me, my sister hasnt spoken to the family in about five years, and my brother means well, but he is a drug addict. He has multiple infections, and even while sedated it looks like he is in pain. He isn't responsive either. I guess my big fear is, if I say ok pull the plug...I would be playing God. Im not a religious person but that scares me. It also scares me to lose my dad. In my head I know I should honor his wishes, but my heart is breaking just thinkin about it. I guess I just need some help:(

Answer 1

I was in a similar situation with my mother. My father was ultimatle the one who had to make the final decision, but we all had talks about it. When my mother first got put on the ventilator, they gave us the same information; she will probably not come out of her vegitative state. My father did not want to take her off so she "lived" in that state for 3 years. He visited her every day and we (the kids) did when we could. It was extremely hard. Eventually we all decided that we had to let her go. We took her off the machine and she breathed on her own for about 30 hours. It was very difficult before and after and we all still think about about our decision. But what I always go back to is that I know were did what she wanted.
I don't know if you dad is conscious or not so that would make the situation a bit different.
What ever you choose to do it will be heart wrenching. You will be sad for a long time. You will question your decision. There are no easy answers. It does help to talk to people who are in similar situations.
Try to be strong for him.

Answer 2

If you know what your dad would want, then it is no longer your decision. You are simply a messenger of your dads wishes, despite how sad and painful it might be. If he has a chance, then that is one thing, however, if his being kept alive is only prolonging the pain, what is the point? Whatever you decide, make sure you are doing what your dad would want, rather than doing something that you feel would delay your sadness. Keep in mind that your are not playing God if you are simply carrying out your dads wishes. Be strong and make your father proud. I'm sorry.

Answer 3

Does he have a living will? I don't think you can make that choice to pull him off if he doesn't have one. Depends where ya live..

How old is your dad? What happened to him? Is there hope? Those are questions you need to ask his dr and if you are able to remove the vent, and that is what your dad really wanted, then you will be able to do it because you are sending your dad to a much beeter place!

I lost my dad 2 years ago this month, he was taken fast thankfully.. But my step mom died 8 months later, she was taken slowly. I was her medical power of attorney, so I stopped all food, meds etc (at her request before she got worse). She quit eating and they wanted to force feed, i said NO, they wanted to tube feed and I said no..

So they put her on comfort measures, which means morphene every hour. She was 62 and had dementia (alzheimers)... As painful as it is to say goodbye and make that choice for them.. It is even harder to watch them slowly die!

My heart still breaks, I miss my parents. My step mom died of a broken heart, no doubt about that! Dad was 66 and it was sudden and preventable, (stupid drs).. i still miss them so damn much.. But you CAN do this!!!
Blessings..
Karla

Answer 4

If you dont feel right about making that decidsion then dont do it! Tell your Father that you cannot do that. If he is on his way out (Im sorry) then God will take him naturally.Tell him that.I feel that you never know what tomarrow will bring.Id like to hold hope for a miracle recovery.I wish you both the very best.Spend quality time together.Take care.If you need a friend,,feel free to e-mail me.Iv lost my father & brother & am the only one in my family that takes care of my mom.

Answer 5

Do what you have to do, but I think your dad has spoken. I don't think it's playing God to follow a person's wishes (when he has no reasonable hope of recovery).

I hope you are able to come to a decision that brings you peace.

Answer 6

My prayers are with you & your family!

I am so sorry that your father is going through this ordeal. I know that I would want the plug pulled right away.

Whatever you chose, it is the RIGHT CHOICE.

BLESS YOU.

:-)