My dad is on a venilator, the choice is up to me basically on whether he lives or dies, I don't know what 2 do

Question

The doctors dont think he will make it...I am at a complete loss, and have no one to turn to...i need all the help i can get...

Sadly, he doesn't have a living will...this is just what he told the family when he first became sick a few years ago.

Jess, he has been having heart problems for the past few years...he is 64 years old. No one knows how long he wasnt breathing for, and in the process he esphixated(sp?) on his own vomit, and also started to bleed from his rectum, which is causing a couple infections in his lungs and throughout his body. He is being fed through a tube, and they are tyrin to drain the liquid from his lungs.

Answer 1

This is obviously a huge question, and one that cannot really be answered without a detailed amount of further information.

At the end of the day if there is little to no chance of recovery, then you may need to make the difficult decision to let him pass away. There is little sense in keeping a body alive with machines for years.

Answer 2

I 've been in the respiratory therapy field for 20yrs and have never found there to be an easy answer or or an easy decision. Is he in a coma? Stroke, heart attack, chronic illness? His age? Had he ever talked to you about being on life support? Obviously he did not leave a living will or you wouldn't have to do this. First let's clarify whatever decision you make, you are NOT responsible for his suffering. If you decide to remove him from the ventilator you are NOT killing him. If it were my dad and I truly knew there was no chance of him getting better I would allow the vent to stay on until everyone who wanted to say their last goodbyes would have the chance to honor him that way. However, we're talking about a reasonable period of time of maybe a few days at most. If you choose not to take him off the machine, he will most likely be eventually trached and sent to a subacute facility as soon as placement was available after he was stable enough for that step.The problem with long term placement if vent dependant is eventually the body breaks down, causing pneumonias, circulation problems, bedsores, etc...
You might ask to speak to a social worker to find out what your options might be as well as the financial implications and responsiblities. Try to get together with other family members and see what kind of input they might have and if you have a pastor, priest or rabbi you can talk to , that will help to ease some of your pain in the making of such a difficult decision. i wish you the best and God bless you.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear that you are in the position to have to decide.

If the doctors declared that he won't make it, there probably is not much chance that something would happen.

Miracles don't happen too often. That's why it's a miracle. If I dropped a vase, will land on the ground. If it doesnt break, you're lucky. If it flies in the air, then it's a miracle. But like I said miracles don't happen because there are natural laws that all of us must abide by, since those are the rules of engaging in life.

My advice is to talk to the doctors once more. But wait a day or two. Get their advice once again. And if you there is no alternative, you may want to consider terminating the ventilator.

I say this because it is a huge stress on your life, to have to linger and worry about your father and in the end, you'll end up in the hopital from the stress and grief.

If you need one week, then by all means, take your time. But remember, miracles don't happen all the time. That's why it's a miracle.

Once again, I am very sorry to hear about your predicament. My prayers and best wishes are upon you.

Answer 4

First let me say that I am very sorry you are going through this. It is a very difficult choice for anyone to have to make. You have my deepest sympathy.

Do you know what your father's wishes were concerning such a situation? What would HE have wanted?

Another thing to consider is what will his quality of life be like if you choose to continue the artificial life support? Will he ever recover to the point where you can remove the vent? Or will he languish in a bed for the rest of his life, unable to move, speak, eat or anything that you and I take for granted? I don't mean to sound harsh, but reality often is very harsh. I see people like this on a daily basis, and my heart goes out to them.

You also must consider your religious beliefs, if you have any, and whether or not you can live with whatever decision you make. This is a very complex issue, and I feel for you for having to deal with it.

Answer 5

He had the guts assault on the proper time. Had it been 10 mins later and that man wasn't round he could have died. After dying is simply an opinion. all of us have to die to uncover out. I consider recreation over many consider, a after lifestyles, a few consider in reincarnation. No one is aware of for definite they simply wish they're proper. I for my part do not wish to reside perpetually, A few billion years floating round right here or there no thanks. Live a whole lifestyles and time to leisure. I have congestive center failure myself together with unhealthy lungs and Diabetes. I'm death appears like my lungs maybe the feel that kills me and potentially the more severe, take a breath and are not able to breath I alternatively have the colossal one center assault. In the close long run I will uncover out.

Answer 6

I work in the aged and disability field and have done so for 18 years. I have very strong beliefs about this.
I have a question for you...
If you were in your dads shoes what would you want the decision to be for you?????
Humans are really weird creatures. We will put an animal to sleep so it does not suffer but yet our loved ones we try and keep alive whether they have quality of life or not, whether they are in pain or not....This doesn't make sense to me.
At the end of the day you have top do what you think is right.
Peace to you.....

Answer 7

Sorry to hear this..my heart goes out to you and your family. Its hard for anyone to answer such a question, but we can be hear to listen and maybe help you cope. I agree with staying by his side and keeping hopeful. Is there anyone else in your family that can help you with such a hard decision? I know that if I was in this situation I would think about my father and what he would want. I worked in a hospital for over 3 years and I saw many people go through this. I dont really know you fathers case and medical stablility, but talk to a doctor or social worker. Good luck sweety and hang in there and follow your heart.

Answer 8

my heart goes out to you, what a awfull situation. you charish life, that says a lot. it's much easier to deal with putting a pet to sleep. my answer is, does your father and you know Jesus as your Lord & Savior??? If so, then you know he will be in a much better place than on the venilator. if it is time for him to go, then you have to let go. if he is to stay, then with God's loving hands, he'll live, but no garuntees. I know I may have to make this discission one day. If you don't know Jesus, then I send legions of angels to you & your father & family, to minister to you all. Something else to think about, would your father want to be kept alive on the venilator???
there are no right or wrong answers. Pray to God about this. May you have peace about this in your heart, before you make your descision. God Bless You.

Answer 9

That's a very difficult question and my heart goes out to you. Noone here is gonna be able to tell you what to do, it's not our decission. I lost my dad almost 2 years ago so if it were my decission I'd say pray on it, sit with him talk to him and follow your heart. I also want to point you toward my Yahoo group it's called "imissmydaddy". It's for those who have lost their dads and those who are going to lose their dads. The folks in there are a source of great comfort and I think they could help you. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/imissmydaddy/

Answer 10

listen up girl, I am knocking on deaths door now and don't have long and when it comes I don't want to drag it on in some bed in a hospital with some machine keeping my heart beating. I want to move on to the next life and be happy there. And if one of my kids were holding me back I would want to kick their ***-as if were able too. Fortunately I have a living will to spare them what your going through.