How does a mother bury the agony of letting her children cut the apron strings and set out on their own?

Question

My son is graduating high school this year and is making plans to go away to college, get an apartment, etc. I look at him and see a toddler who needs the protection and care of his mother. How did he grow up so fast and will I be able to let him go without falling to pieces and getting deeply depressed?

Answer 1

Congrats that you've got a great son!

You must look at your motives for whay you are doing. Is it for you or is it the best for him. Your job is to raise him to be happy, healthy and INDEPENDANT so he can thrive in the world. He'll look back on these times when he is raising his children and you want him to have good lessons to guide him.

I'm sure that he will be fine when he leaves the nest. He will stumble but no doubt, he will get up and keep going. You know from personal experience that one must learn many lessons by experiencing them ourselves. How much advice did we ignore from our parents, only to realixe they were right later down the road. Reassure your son that you are there for him and gove advice WHEN ASKED. He will be more inclined to listen then.

As for you, you are a woman as well as a mother. You cannot live your life totally though your child. It isn't healthy for you or your child. It is too much pressure for them to know that your only happiness comes from them. Take advantage of your new freedom! Look at it as an opportunity for you to do soem things you didn't have the chance to do while having children ay home. Take a risk! Go join a gym, a club, go volunteer somewhere. Both you and your son will be better for it. Remember, your son will still be looking to you to see what life is supposed to be like when he reaches your age. Show him life isn't over when your kids leave home! It's a new chapter!!!

Answer 2

I'm in the same boat this year. We have already signed up to a college and have started with the process of getting him ready to leave.
I had friends that went through this a few years ago and every time for a while when the kiddos name was mentioned they broke into tears. I assume that will happen to me.
My mother used to say she wasn't sure if it was harder to send them to kindergarden or college, both were tough. I cried when he went off to school the first day and I'm sure I'm going to cry when this happens.
I have resolved myself to the fact that I'm going to have to go and see him when I can and he can come home when he wants, we can instant messenger and etc. I don't want him to live here forever, but a few more years...at least until I die would be nice, LOL. That just doesn't make sense - I always wondered how my mom felt when I moved out being her last child! Hum...wonder if she felt the way I feel now...probably.
Accept this as a major change in your life and in his. Without changes we don't grow. Accept the fact that things are going to be tough but once he proves that he can handle this you will be better and I know that is my hope that he can handle this, coming from a small town to a major city....what happens happens, only God can take care of it.
I'll keep you in my thoughts if you keep me in yours as July and August approach this next year.
Stay strong!

Answer 3

congratulations that ur son has graduated high school and is going to college....dont worry advice him to call you and write you letters and e-mailing each other is ok but dont worry when he goes away he can or u can always visit during weekend/holidays just dont let him go too far away you may not be able to keep track of him

Answer 4

The way you need to look at it is that you raised him to be responsible (Which a lot of parents fail to do) and he is ready to enter the adult world. Many kids that have been spoiled by their parents are not ready to do that until they are closer to 30. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy your freedom...remember...grandkids are just around the corner!

Answer 5

you need to grow up yourself, you arent that mom in the apron any more, mine is 34 on her third hubby and first child. they grow as they grow, she came back home for 4 yrs. you simply do what you have to do and hang on.