why do i have the tendency to avoid guys who have a crush on me?

Question

it seems to me that i am nice to guys until they develop a crush on me and then i want to avoid them. i'm not outright mean to them, i just don't go out of my way to talk to them anymore because i just don't feel comfortable, due to the fact that i've never had a boyfriend because i'm not allowed to date. i made friends with three asian guys, 2 of them a grade or so older than me and one in my grade. i was fine with our friendship until they got a crush on me and then i distanced myself from them, which causes our friendship to be not as close as it was before. i liked being friends with them too.
plus what also irritated me is that one of them would always think i was mad at him just because i don't go out of my way to find him and talk to him. but he doesn't go out of his way either so i'm like why should i?

i don't know if this matters but i'm asian too (filipino, chinese, irish, portugese, and spanish mix).

Answer 1

I do exactly the same thing. It completely freaks me for some reason and I end up not speaking to them anywhere near as much.
All through last year I hardly spoke to this guy who has a crush on me and before he told me we were literally best friends. A couple of weeks ago he came over to me and talked to m about how we weren't anywhere near as good friends since he told me he likes me. I explained everything to him and he was understanding. He said that there was no reason why we had to go out he just wanted us to be friends. I'm also not allowed to date so I didn't really have a choice.
I think you should speak to them and make more of an effort. just because they have crushes on you doesnt mean you have to do anything about them. It should make you feel confident in yourself. Three guys having a crush on you obviously means that you are attractive and have a good personality.
Good luck!

Answer 2

When you are not allowed to date and presumably also not allowed to have a boyfriend, then falling in love with a guy can end up being a very hurtful experience for both you and the guy.

Perhaps you know this in your feelings. And perhaps this is why you avoid getting involved in a serious love relationship with a guy.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like you are afraid of the risks you'd take in being in a relationship. Perhaps your parents had a messy divorce and seeing that subconsciously traumatized you into thinking that relationships are bad and so instead of taking the risk, you just avoid it. I think you should talk with a therapist. Good luck!

Answer 4

You are mix like "rojak" i mean your family do you think your mind is confuse and mix . the reason that you avoid a to have relationship is because what you have experience or see in you family think about it give chance to other to get to what you want and about you self to those guys tell them you need them as a best friend and also part as your family members they will understand that.

Answer 5

I use to feel the same way, but I would finally fall in love with the very persistent ones, after like 3 or 5 years!
I think is just becasue they are the ones who like you, not you them and they are the ones who have to somehow persuade you.
In my case it was perseverance that made me fall in love.

Answer 6

sounds the same as me except the other way around. I think you just don't know how to act or afraid of rejection.

Answer 7

You are afraid of emotional intimacy and in all likelihood the physical intimacy that goes with it.

Answer 8

i have a problem kind like this

theres this really annoy boy and i just cant get him to leave me alone!