what did i do wrong?

Question

i have this friend, she's been my best friend since the 6th grade,
i'm in college now, so we've been friends for about 9 years.
i developed a crush in the ninth grade as i got to know her better. but i kept it to myself. she got with this one guy, and things were going smoothly for awhile then it went sour. she comes to me when she needs help/advice.i'll briefly skim, basically at the end of 9th grade i told her how i felt about her, she said it wasn't a good idea. it is now 2006 and she's had about 3 boyfriends, currently with one. we got to talking about regrets, she said she did have feelings for me and regretted saying no to relationship. she constantly complains about her bf, i love her so much and only want the best for her but it feels like she's looking for a guy who will be everything i Want to be to her but she still doesn't want a relationship with me. her bf's are always assholes,and i was always there for her,anyitme she needed me,i keep asking, what did i do wrong?

i stuck by her side the whole time, even though i knew i was just there to make her whole again and once she was fine, i was put back in the closet. i'm not a jerk-face type so i could never tell her off, but i just wish she realized what she was doing to me, physically and mentally. but it's my fault really, i invested heavily emotionally in this friendship and i guess she didn't as much.

..all i wanted was a chance to make her happy...

Answer 1

time for you to be an asshole, thats the type of person she likes. She will probably like you in 10 years when shes already had so many assholes that they just annoy her.

Answer 2

here's my two cents worth..
although i have to say that what you both have is so much better than what most relationships have, a friendship still is far better than taking it to the next step. It's not a matter of what you did wrong; 'cause really, you didn't do anything wrong. There are just some people who want to keep things the way they are. Change is hard, especially for friendships turned into relationships. and although some people handle it better, i guess your friend is just scared. and besides, you already have an understanding of each other. that whenever she has a problem, she comes to you for help. I would bet that most other people out there would rather have their special someone close rather than closer and in doing so cause a rift between the relationship. Just look at it this way, some things that are meant to be will come into fruition at the time that they should. rather than asking yourself what you did wrong, enjoy the time spent with her.

and if everything else doesn't work, just look on the brighter side, you've made a friend for life that you know you love so much. And if the chance of a relationship never ever comes your way, then relish the friendship and think of the fact that there will be many more people that will come your way. be happy dude, and seasons greetings.

Answer 3

This my friend, is what my boyfriend and I call the Six Year Plan. See, we named it this, because like you, I put him through the same EXACT thing (only it was for six years, not nine). I feel very sorry for you for going through all this. My advice to you though, is this...don't lose faith. I'm not saying you should wait for her and not date anyone else (unless that's what you want to do, because it can make it more difficult for her to try a relationship with you if you are with someone already). But if you really love her as much as you say you do, then don't take the advice of these other jerks and be an asshole like the other guys. Its not fair for her to walk all over you, but trust me here, she will regret her actions toward you for the rest of her life without you rubbing it in her face. You have done absolutely NOTHING wrong though. She is just confused and stupid. If you are both in college, then I would say she should be about ready to deal with her last heartbreak from an asshole. It takes a lot of personal growth to get out of the kind of cycle some of us get ourselves in. She may not feel worthy of her love if the past bfs have treated her poorly and if she has low self esteem. I couldn't tell you for sure her feelings, I just know how I felt. Trust me though it truly is her and not you. As an added inspiration for you, I was the girl in your story and my boyfriend was you. I came to my senses eventually and we are together now! Neither of us have ever been happier in our lives! Don't lose faith. If its meant to be, you'll end up together eventually for sure. I hope she makes a move soon (because it sounds like she still wants to be with you)! Good Luck!

Answer 4

i have almost the exact same problem but i've known this girl since i was 4 and now i'm 25 and we got wasted and screwed last weekend it was amazing and everything i hoped for but it just made it worse so all i can tell you is not to sleep with her just because you get a chance tell her how you feel and let her know she'll be treated like a princess then hopefully you'll get the chance to date for a while befor it gets sexual i wish i knew more it would make my life easier as well i sincerely wish you the best of luck

Answer 5

Sometimes we as women think that love has a face......that love must come the way or the look with expect it....if she had been with 3 boyfriends and haven't find the person she needs...I would give you an advise and I hope you follow it ....Please do it
Stay away from her .....that it is the only way she can realize who you are....she can not miss you if you are around ....even that you love her you must left her be away so if she is for you beleive she will look for you ....but before you stay away you must tell her all your feelings and then go away so she will start to realize that you are the person for her
Maybe she loves you and she hasn't realize it
do it do not be affraid and do it maybe you will be surprise!

Answer 6

sweetie you have done nothing wrong! it is good that you told her. because you do not know untill you try but alot of women feel this way especiall with a male friend that they have had for such a long time. i have been in same situation before. here is the thing she loves you, of coarse she does and maybe for even more than just good friends but as you know relationships tend to fall alot. and she does not want to take the even slightest chance of ruining of what you do have. because things if you were to try to be together and it fell apart would not be the same as they r now. it's just how it is! but good luck !

Answer 7

I guess she is having a hard time deciding if she wants to be with you. She might not have realized yet that you are the right one for her. Maybe if you suggest again that you should be together, she might say yes (ask her after she breaks up with her boyfriend, though. Don't ask her right away, but maybe a week afterwards.) Good luck!

Answer 8

Nothing you were honest at least, but let it go..now and just be her friend..it will be better for you..so just go out with other people and find someone good for you...she doesn't sound like she wants to be with you...maybe she will when it is too late...but oh well...life goes on...good luck..you sound like a nice person that needs to be with a good Woman that you can treat good..she is out there waiting for you...don't waste your time on being empty..without love..go find the one that will love you back...

Answer 9

Nothing. You just have to accept in life that sometimes the people you love don't love you back. Also speaking from a woman's perspective, it sounds like she's keeping you for a spare. You hang in there and you'll find that special someone.

Answer 10

It might be good for you to be just friends. You don't want to be the rebound guy for her. Yea, she regrets not having the relationship with you, because things are $h**y with her other relationships. Loving her is not a bad thing. You just can't let it be romantic.