My gf of 3years broke up with me over 5-months ago. It was rocky towards the end; constant arguing. I wasn't perfect; overprotective and smothering at times. I never thought she would end it. But she did-claiming she had enuf and didn't want to be in a relationship with me or anyone. Initially, she stopped all contact with me. However we ended up seeing each other a few times and were intimate. That has all stopped. She has now asked me not to contact her; I struggle with this. I can go a week with no contact, then I go on a binge. I contact her repeatedly, phone, text, email, she doesnt respond, but I do this anyways. It;s been 5mos. and I'v been on a few dates but nothing sticks. I'm plaugued with thoughts of her. I barely get through a day without being upset. Through friends I have found out she is socially active, partying a lot, but not seeing anyone. I clearly am still not over her; but she is way over me. She's not comin back. But I still feel compelled to hear her voice. why?
2006-12-07 17:03:15 · 10 answers · asked by jackrabb1616 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off, I am sooooo sorry. I feel for you. I've only been going out for about 9 months and I'm already attached.. but.. heres something. Re-read your question. "i can go a week w/ no contact then go on a binge. I conact her repeadedly.. (I stress this part) phone, tt, email, and she doesn't respond but I do this anyway." I'm reading this, and its seriously scaring me and I"m not that girl! I love to get adorned by my guy, but seriously. maybe she ended it because you were scaring her with your love. Sometimes you just have to take it slow. I know you guys went out for a long time, but I think you just have to go cold turkey for a while. Maybe after you realize, and *cough* Get a life other than her... You can start talking to her again.. maybe not so much "stalking"-ish.. and who knows? Me and my boyfriend broke up a while back ago.. for two weeks we didn't talk. I saw him at his house after that, and he kissed me, and we talked it over, and realized we went to fast to soon, and we are going out ever sence! So who knows what will happen. So.. mY advice.
1. Stop acting like your stalking her. Relize your getting WAY carried away.
2. Do what she asks. Its as simple as that. Stay away for a while. Force yourself to go out, and have fun with your life. its YOUR life after all.. and if you get tempted to call her, tell yourself NO.. Your not going to go back to that low. Your over her.
3. Be happy with who you are. the sooner that comes, the sooner you will be able to find a new gf.. because quite frankly, the reason why nothing sticks, is because your comparing those girls to her. thats all it is.. find something new. :)
Good luck!! :D
joz
2006-12-07 17:11:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jozzie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Separation anxiety. You need to move past it and not let it control you. Easy to say, I know. But you're life is ahead of you and this relationship is over. You need to realize that. It just is! There is someone waiting for you but there is no hurry. Don't put pressure on yourself to find someone before she does. Just relax and heal. Take some time and gather your thoughts about what went wrong so you can grow from it but do not wallow in it. You are stronger and better for the experience and it will get better. But you do need to stop contacting her. After a week of no contact you will feel stronger, you will. And the next week will be even better.
.
2006-12-07 17:11:07 · answer #2 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly what my ex is doing to me now. I feel he is bugging me and will not respect my wishes. She probably feels the same as I do. She probably hooked up with you again due to second thoughts but decided against your relationship going any further. I did the same with my ex, I slept with him after we broke up but only because it might spark something but it just made me realize how much I really didn't want him anymore. You need to really respect her and stop calling or trying to contact her. Leave her alone and get over it other wise you will just hurt yourself more by dragging out something that cant be repaired. Sorry.
2006-12-07 17:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
work on yourself first. you need to make yourself happy, so you can truely give yourself to the girl that you love and whos meant for you, whether it's this girl or not. i think that you really need to focus on the reason that you want her back. you're used to having her around after 3 years, so of course it will be a little hard, it's what you're used to. i think this is great for you. i think it's an exciting chapter in your life where you can take some time for yourself, the people around you that you love, and life. go travel! do something with yourself, you only have one life. if this is the girl for you, she'll be back. if not, there's something better out there, but you have to get yourself ready for it. that's what a woman needs, and wants from a man. a whole one.
2006-12-07 17:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by corinne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...you're obviously obsessed with her. The sparks finally went out (at least she gave it another whirl). Being overprotective and smothering is enough for me to head for the hills!! Learn from your mistakes; trust and respect the next girl who comes along. After 3 years and no positive signs of marriage, girlfriend moved on; I suggest you do the same...
2006-12-07 17:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by motherkc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT NORMAL TO FEEL AS YOU DO, YOU WERE WITH HER
FOR 3 YEARS REGARDLESS OF HOW IT ENDED. YOUR
FEELING FOR SOME ONE DOES NOT STOP JUST BECAUSE
YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER. BUT YOU NEED TO START
LIVING YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR SELF. NOT ANY ONE ELSE,
TIIME TO GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS. THERE
SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE, JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AS
A TIME. YOU WILL SEE THAT THERE IS SOME ONE OUT
THERE FOR YOU. SHE HAS MOVE ON IT TIME FOR YOU
TO DO THE SAME. GOOD LUCK.
2006-12-07 17:08:52 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its because you were so settled with the fact it was her and she crashed that so instantly all you want is to hear their voice. trust me one of my exs dumped me after dating for 9 months and he was a first love and i was his then we stopped talking and even now i struggle with not hearing his voice...but its better to just take time for yourself keep yourself busy and start to date when the time is right
2006-12-07 17:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on bro i know how you feel but you must be stronger. there are other girls out there try not to think about her too much i know u still love her but seems like she has moved on. do not go after her maybe she will come to you herself. good luck bro
2006-12-07 17:15:03 · answer #8 · answered by dm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your love for her was obviously deep, that is why you still long for her. but you cannot torture yourself by thinking and hoping that she will come back. it is difficult, but you must move on. only time heals situations like this.
2006-12-07 17:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let time pass...go to clubs...enjoy ur life and focus on tomarrow not yeaterday
2006-12-07 17:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by RCW 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋